Been with a women for 4 months. Started having sex and I would go soft after a short time. Figured condoms were to tight. Went to larger size, same thing. Tried it without and now I can go forever. Only orgasmed once in the last 4 or 5 times since. Otherwise we go for hour, hour and a half. Usually ends up with giving up. From what I can tell she has a few orgasms. Says that all she wants is for me to cum, so apparently I'm doing a good job otherwise.
The only thing I can think of is that I'm doing something wrong during masturbation so that vaginal or oral just doesn't do it.
Is there a way to increase sensetivity without the creams or toys? Should I look into some different positions? So far it's been missionary, her on top, and from behind.
I haven't masturbated in almost a week in hopes that it will help somewhat. She is begging for for me this weekend. I don't want to keep hurting her with the long sessions.
When you masturbate you become accustomed to your own touch, rhythm, feel, speed, etc. Oral and vaginal are not as tight, rhythms are different then you may be accustomed to.
Many times when men try to hold off on an orgasm, they loose the opportunity. They are too focused on pleasing their partner, and missing their own enjoyment.
If her sole concern right now is you having an orgasm just do it, and please her afterwards, I am sure she would be game!
Yes, condoms lessen the sensitivity but is it worth possibly dying for? Nothing against either of you, but unless married and monogamous..I'd insist upon using them.
With anyone new you're going to have a few 'softening' and 'orgasm' issues until you to really get comfortable and familiar with eachother. Give yourself permission to enjoy it, ask her to do body worship on you - foreplay works both ways, and focus upon orgasming this time instead of trying to get her to orgasm.
I only worried about her orgasm the first time. Since then I've had the problems.
I guess I would consider myself to still be very young in the sex world, so I havn't had time to learn all this yet.
I'll just give it more time and work on just enjoying the moment.
Thank you for the help.
i agree with EEkitten - when you are not accustomed to your partner you so want for everything to go right that it often goes wrong!!
[QUOTE=bryrw06;175730]i agree with EEkitten - when you are not accustomed to your partner you so want for everything to go right that it often goes wrong!![/QUOTE]
Well said so true
[QUOTE=bryrw06;175730]i agree with EEkitten - when you are not accustomed to your partner you so want for everything to go right that it often goes wrong!![/QUOTE]
Much wisdom in that; I think this is atleast part of my problem. That and the fact that I waited a long time for it, and found out that it is very overrated IMO.
yeh you are having exactly the same problem as me!
dammit ive found a sexual problem soul mate xD
Another possibility is discussed here. I've discovered I have this issue, after much frustration, but I've learned to live with it. Didn't find out until too late with the ex girlfriend.
See here: http://www.healthystrokes.com/
Please note, no offense intended.
The Wet One