This started out of nowhere. I used to have sex with a girlfriend several times a week and it only took me afew minutes to get off. At that time I was trying to last longer for her, but never could. Same with my ex-wife, just a few minutes and I was done. Now, the last few girls I have been with, it takes me forever to cum if at all. I'm erect, I'm enjoying it, but it just doesn't happen all the time. I'm 33 and in good health. My last girlfriend was alittle younger than me and it really bothered her, she thought I was not attracted to her. That made it worse because I found I was trying real hard to cum real fast to prove to her I could. If I masturbate, it only takes a minute, if a girl gives me a hand job, it takes a few minutes. Isthis in my head or what?
Mon, 05/28/2007 - 14:13
#1
Can't Cum
Your trying so hard not to cum quickly that you are missing the window of opportunity.
How are you preparing yourself to climax?
Are you devoting plenty of time to making out, first?
Are you on the raw edge of loosing control when beginning intercourse?
The vagina provides a much different environment to the penis than a hand or mouth. It is much softer, and when aroused, offers less of a glove-like contact. This can change the type of stimulation you receive making it much different than you are accustomed to.
In one Sticky post I address a comment primarily to teenage boys about the trend and misconception that the way to a climax is through lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking. Now at your "advanced" age, I'm pretty certain you know this is incorrect, however, I'm mentioning this, just in case. Either way, it is best if you are close to an orgasm before beginning to stroke.
> My last girlfriend was alittle younger than me and it really bothered her, she thought I was not attracted to her. That made it worse because I found I was trying real hard to cum real fast to prove to her I could.
Here's something else to ponder. "Chemistry". How's the chemistry between you and your most recent partners? It is quite possible to like and even love a person yet not have the necessary "stuff" between you to make sex work. You can be best friends, although not lovers.
As something for you to consider, it may not necessarily be in your head, rather, what is not between you--pheromones. Now, having said that, what if this is simply not the case and there is chemistry and the pheromones are doing their thing? Why then can't you climax in a timely manner? The most usual answer is nerves that manifest as Performance Anxiety. The cure most often offered people by me and others is to quite literally stop worrying. Easier said than done, perhaps, yet a guy in this situation can often be his own worst enemy in this regard.
> I found I was trying real hard to cum real fast to prove to her I could.
Here is some information that takes you back to the basics. It may be of help.
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:
Chapter Three:
INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS/ and the gentle art of Making Out, FIRST
Chapter One:
[COLOR="Blue">INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS / and the gentle art of Humping[/COLOR]
In order to reach a climax through your partner's efforts, some things have to be in place. First, that you are and have become turned on from lots of caressing--and not just from Foreplay. Necking and Petting are crucial and sometimes overlooked or ignored. Second, that your partner knows how to manually stimulate your penis mimicing your technique. This requires that we guide her movements several times until she learns your technique. Verbal and/or non-verbal feedback on how you are responding and for what you may need next is also key.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?