Hi, I'm a 20 year old virgin...and within the past month, my boyfriend and I have tried having sex twice. And both times, we haven't been able to. The first time, it was like his penis just wouldn't enter at all, and the second time, we tried a little more, and it went a little farther, but I started having pain if we tried to push a little harder. Is this normal? Honestly, I'm having all of these ridiculous fears that I'm too small and that I'll never be able to have sex. But, he's very gentle, we do a lot of foreplay before to make sure that I'm lubricated, but it just didn't work. Should we just keep trying and eventually I'll stretch out more? Or is there another problem?
Tue, 03/29/2005 - 21:07
#1
Can't achieve penetration
I agree.. RELAX.. and lotsa foreplay. I remember for me it was I got horny enough that the pain was quite tolerable.. and I was 24.
This is perfectly normal. Do not expect the earth to move the first time. Women are usually so focused on just making it work that orgasmic response is rare the first time or so. The two keys at this point are relax and use plenty of lubrication. If you are using a condom, this is especially important. Condoms do increase the friction, especialy latex comdoms. A spermicidal vaginal jelly can really help. Ortho-Gynol or K-Y plus inserted with the applicator and a bit left around the vaginal entrance will give you plenty of lubrication. Do not depend on lubed condoms alone. They do not have enough.
While much emphasis is given to the breaking of the hymen, it is usually muscle tension that offers more resistance. Relax. Relax. You may be more comfortable on top so you can control the penetration. On the other hand that can introduce muscle tension holding yourself upright.
Be confident that billions of women over tens of thousands of years have learned. You can, too.
Yes its normal to feel pain the first time and several to many times after that.
If you are naturally small it might take you a little longer to get comfortable.
Did you read thru all the posts here?
should help to answer some questions.
good luck