I am 18 and just began to have sex a few months ago. I enjoy having sex and other foreplay but I cannot seem to come unless, I get myself off...
I have read through almost all of these guides on the site and nothing seems to work, I am going out of my mind... We take our time and dont rush into intercourse but I can't seem to come, we have sex for 3 hours on average, thats usually two hours of foreplay before hand the only reason we stop is because we are both exhausted but im still not satisfied at first I thought it was the condoms but its not that because we recently had sex without one and again I lasted a good few hours. I've read some places that ive developed a pattern that may cause me to only be able to climax to that but I have no idea how I am going to break that and i've tried holding out masturbating for days but that didn't help either... I am ready to explode... Just not in the way i would like...
Wed, 03/19/2008 - 05:32
#1
Cannot cum...
Yea....heres the thing....
NEVER HAVE SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM...
unless you want to have a baby.
The part about you not coming, its simple. Stop masturbating as much, (maybe once every three days or so if that, and no masturbating the day of sex)
Try having her position her legs so that it is even "tighter" this may help a bit to (see the deck chair position in the positions category)
Finally, buy some polyeurothane (sp?) condoms and have sex A LOT. Go slow and focus on the feeling, not the cumming, just how it feels to slide in and out and such.
I'll try this position, hopefully it will help but I am not to sure, I've already tried not thinking about it but as soon as I think I am there, I'm thinking about it and it doesn't come... Its almost like when you think your going to sneeze but than you don't because you thought about it...
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
Welcome to the (new) SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.
Have a look at the above article and in particular this section:
WAIT--HOLD ON--
Many guys nowadays are operating under the misguided misconception that lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking is the way to a climax. WRONG.
Begin intercourse after you have been brought to the brink of an orgasm by other means (Foreplay activities) as this is its function. Actual intercourse shouldn't last longer than about ten minutes, otherwise many women report becoming SORE, bored, and, tired. If you do want to prolong intercourse, then take periodic breaks and fall back to Foreplay and/or lots of fooling around.
Ducy's answer on masturbating may be relevant if you do it a lot; however, I'm more inclined to say the difficulty is with methodology, as noted.
As a new member to the community, please read through the Index and the Posting Guidelines found at the top of your main page.
thanks doc, but i've already been through the link you directed me to above.
We don't start intercourse until its we are both almost there and I still never seem to be getting there... hence my frustration. At first I thought this was a good thing but now its just annoying and was making things not as fun as i would like, now i've pretty much given up on it, so I wasn't thinking about it as much as before but its just I know I can its just not happening when I would like it too.
Try a few different positions. Many men will reach orgasm much faster in some positions than in others. Generally, those positions that allow you to relax a bit rather than support much weight give your body an opportunity to let go.
Also, with respect to foreplay to near orgasm: Sometimes the intensity of the foreplay is such that your body thinks you are "backing up" when you get to penetration. Once you have proceeded to direct penis stimulation with hands or mouth, the vagina may seem kind of tame. Unlike the others, I am actually recommending that you get to the main even a bit earlier. It take senergy to maintain an erection for a couple hours and it may be a bit numbed and too tired to get you over the edge.
And in addition, try rotating your lower torso and pelvic region so the base of your penis moves in a circle like and " O ". This stimulates the nerves inside the abdominal cavity at the root of the shaft.
You might also have her try tapping or rubbing the outside of your anus just as you are about to climax yet can't. The other thing she can do is to squeeze one or both testicles as described in the "Playing Ball...." article.
thanks for all the advice, ill report back when I can aha
so i finally manged to cum via oral for the first time today, so all hope is not lost it seems I am very pleased aha
I finally finished the other day and twice last night :D
I am so excited, I think I finally have control over my body because I came when I wanted to, not just out of the blue. I think its the position we are using which is good because we both enjoy it.
For some reason side by side just does it for me. :)
This is a common problem, and one of the most difficult to figure out.
It is NOT as simple as not masturbating, or trying different positions, although those can help.
Try PC exercises - they might do wonders for you.
Also try masturbating the same way you have sex - ie. loose grip. lots of lube - to try and train yourself to come under similar sensations.
There are probably two likely handicaps at play here. The first is that you are spending a long time doing foreplay. In and of itself this is not a bad thing and I suggest people go back to it time and again when they wish to extend the lovemaking session. The problem is that foreplay, specifically oral stimulation can and usually does excite a guy much more intensely than a hand job. The heightened arousal is much stronger and thus more enjoyable yet it is the wrong type of stimulation to bring about a climax.
The trick to getting to climax after or during a good oral session is to take pause and let your level of arousal drift back down below the normal level for an orgasm and then either proceed by hand and/or mouth. Key to this is feedback. It is necessary to give your partner verbal or non-verbal feedback on how you are responding to her caresses and for what you need next. Lastly, she has to learn your specific technique for masturbating in order to reliably get you to cum.
As for the time spent, all this stimulation can and often will dull the nerves. Better to have an orgasm fairly early into the proceedings and then fool around, especially until she learns what works and you work cooperatively.