My soon to be husband and I have been living together since college. We've only been working in our field for a couple of years and have a mortgage. Since we've putting a lot towards our mortgage hoping to be able to pay it off within 10 years to avoid paying an extra $200-400k on interest if we take our time. Anyways because of this we don't go out all that much, once or maybe twice a week even though our friends are out all the time.
So because of all this we're spending out time at home. It's not unusual for us to spend 3-5+ hours plus in the evening making love and cuddling. Is it unhealthy for a relationship in anyway as long as we don't stop communicating. I've read articles that say people do this when they're avoiding an issue and it could grow into something big. Not saying that we are but it piqued my interest. It made me start thinking that maybe even though it would take longer for us to pay the mortgage to enjoy ourselves outdoors more often for a more balanced relationship. In the near future my fiancee will be getting a raise and I should hopefully be getting a promotion later in the year so we could also wait until then or do you think we should start making changes now. Not that I'm unhappy with our life in fact I'm very happy with our sex life but I thought some feedback and some ideas would be helpful.
Thank you and have a great day/night all
first off i applaud you two for taking control of your future and focusing on not having big debts like a mortgage. how long have you had your 10 year mortgage? since the common mortgage in recent history is 30 years, a 15 year one is usually recommended.
how long until your fiancee gets the raise? if not that long then grind it out and wait. i have gotten a lot of knowledge from Dave Ramsey, a debt counselor. he use to have a tv show and radio show, now just the radio show. i would recommend looking up his site. he also has a program where you can locate counselors that practice Dave's no debt attitude. i should also mention that he recommends a certain percentage that your income goes to a mortgage. so if you bought too much house and can't save for other things(retirement, children, college) and have "fun money" for activities then you should reconsider your mortgage.
sex life and balanced relationship; what could ever br wrong with you two being together for 3-5 hours. it is only too much if you or your fiancee think it is too much. since your social life is not as active as your friends be happy that you are spending time together rather than sitting on the couch watching TV. you say you like spending time outdoors, well a lot of that can be done for free. i know a couple that train together for marathons, triathlons and things like that. great physical activity and they are spending time together.
just my two cents
Talk it over with your fiancee. What works for your relationship with him is best decided between you and him.
What?!?! Are ya nuts?!?!
I don't know what you're reading but you have got to stop analyzing your relationship. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you spending most of your free time at home enjoying the delights of your fiance'. Just think of what's to come in the future: work, taxes, kids, bills, more work, more taxes, more kids, more bills - yegods - LIVE IT UP NOW while you have the chance!
Dear CupGirl,
As far as I've heard and seen, the only thing that could happen would be that you get out of touch with your friends, when you never go out with them anymore. That in some cases gets a couple somewhat socially isolated, absorbed in their own world, even feeling guilty when wanting to go out without their partner. This has got nothing to do with how you're spending your time (whether having sex or playing cards ;)), it's only got to do with who you're spending time. To which I'd say; you're queen of your own time and you should spend it in the way you want and love it! :)
Anything else; I agree with EEK. Don't let magazines get you upside down and doubting. Enjoy!!! :)
[color=green]you're ok.......as long as your man keeps giving you the love that you want and need and you keep respecting him as being your man, then nothing else matters......having sex/cuddling with one another just strengthens your relationship even more......me and my wife do it from time to time and with the economy being what it is, it's not unusual that we spend days at a time together in our home cuddling/talking/laughing/making love.....to tell the truth, i always look forward to it!![/color]
Hanging out w friends or snuggling with husband is only a 'conflict of interest' if you have friends like mine.
keep enjoying it ,,, good for u
I think most people would say that they envy you if that's where your relationship is.