OK so here's the lowdown on me- I'm a 22 year old, only had one relationship in my life (about 6 weeks) and very little bedroom action so to speak. I've got some health issues that make me think that others would not find me attractive or might be a deal breaker if I ever get someone into the bedroom. First off, I'm uncircumcized, which I realize should not be a big deal to a mature understanding parter. Most importantly, I have a skin condition called vitiligo (google it or something, you'll see more about it). Basically I have white patches with no pigment throughout my body. I can hide it pretty well clothed, but its all over the place underneath and even extends into my groin area and on my genitals. I get really upset thinking about this and knowing that would be a total gross-out for a woman to see. Is there any hope for me? I know people will say that a good personality is what matters blah blah blah I consider that a load of bs at least at first (if there's no initial attraction nobody will learn your personality). Do you guys think I'll be dating my right hand forever?
Thu, 11/22/2007 - 02:04
#1
can someone think i'm attractive?
It really comes down to self confidence...
I used to think I was unattractive...and it showed. I wore baggy clothes and had long hair to hide my face etc (Im a guy by the way)
Then after getting a few compliments and realizing that I was attractive in my own right, I started to dress confidently, rook extra time to groom myself properly, and even acted more confident....I rarely have to use palmela handerson anymore...and If I do I have a lot of new material ;)
Just be confident. I mean hey, majority of the girls I know dont care too much about looks, as long as they know what they are doing in bed. So look at it this way, (no offense to any female here) but if your girls eyes are rolling into the back of your head, and she is moaning your name nonstop, do you think that she is really going to notice you have any white patches on your body...and do you think her vagina, hand or any other body part that the chooses to touch it with can feel this?
I honestly think that it won't matter. I am a woman and I don't think I would find it gross. I actually very much prefer an uncut penis and as far as the white spots, well, I have been with men where the pigment on their penis was splotchy. It didn't bother me. Really, once it gets down to that point, you are pretty much committed to (aka REALLY WANT TO) sleep with the other person or do other sexual things.
I think the best way to build your sexual confidence would be to read about and make yourself knowledgeable, as much as you can, about how to please a woman and how her sexual response works. A couple of great sites to start with: www.the-clitoris.com, www.cunnilingustutor.com, and google! Just look up "free online sex tutorial" or whatever. Once a woman is worked up, she wouldn't care if you suddenly turned into a giant fuzzy antelope, she will just want/NEED you.
And like Ducy said, take time in caring for your appearance. Fashion really does make us even more interested - as shallow as that may sound - but really, nothing is hotter than a well put together person, man or woman, right?
As woman I can say act confident. Honestly, SOME may turn you down b/c of the skin issue--they were not worth it to begin with. The majority? I doubt many would care...I would care about WHO you are as a MAN. Cut? Never had the chance to go there with someone...since locally most are. Deep inside it's the human who matters.
I met my ex-fiance, thought he looked "decent; okay". His personality is what caught my attention & captivated me...he is the most beautiful man I have ever known. I would have not picked him in the midst of a "group" but since we met & talked; it was instant attraction. It was his brain...the remainder followed. Other men I have dated were gorgeous; however, lacked manners, motivation or consideration...they were no longer physically attractive to me; they were not attentive or interesting.
[QUOTE=sera300;200073][COLOR="Purple">I met my ex-fiance, thought he looked "decent; okay". His personality is what caught my attention & captivated me...he is the most beautiful man I have ever known. I would have not picked him in the midst of a "group" but since we met & talked; it was instant attraction. It was his brain...the remainder followed. Other men I have dated were gorgeous; however, lacked manners, motivation or consideration...they were no longer physically attractive to me; they were not attentive or interesting.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]
I guess I should have thought a bit more before opening my mouth! lol There is definitely something way hotter than a well put together person, and that would be someone with brains. Like you said, there have been people I've dated or fooled around with who I found extremely attractive, but grew to find them very unattractive after getting to know them somewhat.
[quote=Suki2007;200075]I guess I should have thought a bit more before opening my mouth! lol There is definitely something way hotter than a well put together person, and that would be someone with brains. Like you said, there have been people I've dated or fooled around with who I found extremely attractive, but grew to find them very unattractive after getting to know them somewhat.[/quote]The difference is you & I have been there through experiences! This poor guy has not yet! The brains are the beauty, LOL! :)
You have to portray confidence and be assertive (not pushy). Everyone likes
something different. To one person this man or woman is unattractive but
another they are striking. Kinda the old saying that beauty is in the "eye of
the beholder." So, feel good about yourself and let that translate into the
confident way you carry yourself.
Here it is Thanksgiving afternoon and the Macy's parade has come and gone and now The National Dog Show is on TV. Why am I mentioning this? Because of what has been shown on television today. The parade had marching bands and performers of all sorts. One high school band's uniforms were colorful clown suits with the musicians all in bright colored wigs. Now why do you suppose we like orange or green hair, patchwork overalls, and things like this?
Fast forward to the dog show.... There are all sorts of colors, shapes, sizes, and physiques to choose from. Three new breeds were shown for the first time. Five thousand people were in the audience and untold millions watching on TV. Those wanting a dog were going to be doing some "window shopping" no doubt. Having just lost both of my "kids" there will be a time sometime in the future when I will want to adopt, again. While I like most dogs, my preference is for those of small stature having hair. I've had both Poodles and Maltese. But what do other like? Some like more color and certain patterns. Fortunately for these prospective "parents" they can see what interests them in a dog in the all together. On the human scene, men and women have to take more on faith.
By the time we fall for that certain someone we've already encountered the visible such as eyes, smile, hair (or the lack of) nose, tush, stature, and other attributes. We've also considered what we hear; the quality of their voice as well as what comes out of their mouth thought-wise.
By the time we get to the stage of fooling around and later disrobing, we've pretty much fallen for the entire package including those parts as yet unseen.
This particular thread contains very worthwhile thought provoking and insightful answers--more than in many. My answer is to take the above replies to heart.
Okay so you're a "pinto"! KINKY!
Hey guy - you are what and who you are. Nothing to be done? If not then let it go. I'd like to be 6 feet tall in bare feet but that's not going to happen so *shrug*. I have two patches of darker pigment on my body. So I ask my men and we play "find the birth marks". Kiss 'em, baby! You can play "count the patches" and if you get the right number, you'll win a prize - then give her a huge grin and a wink!
Because when her blood's roaring and her engines are hitting the afterburners - she doesn't give a damn HOW many white patches you have!
[QUOTE=sera300;200073]As woman I can say act confident. Honestly, SOME may turn you down b/c of the skin issue--they were not worth it to begin with. The majority? I doubt many would care...I would care about WHO you are as a MAN. Cut? Never had the chance to go there with someone...since locally most are. Deep inside it's the human who matters.
I met my ex-fiance, thought he looked "decent; okay". His personality is what caught my attention & captivated me...he is the most beautiful man I have ever known. I would have not picked him in the midst of a "group" but since we met & talked; it was instant attraction. It was his brain...the remainder followed. Other men I have dated were gorgeous; however, lacked manners, motivation or consideration...they were no longer physically attractive to me; they were not attentive or interesting.[/QUOTE]
Great post Sera...says it all...!!!
I agree with the others. I think my boyfriend is cute, but his looks were definitely not the thing that attracted me to him. He is a great person, and he truly cares about and loves me. Looks wise, I'm out of his league, but I know I found a great catch. It is really all about personality. I think women tend to care less about appearances than men do, actually. We care how we look, not as much how you look. (As in, we don't care as much what you were born with - clothes, hair, and proper hygiene are still important!) My boyfriend is uncircumcised - I don't care one tiny bit. It's what I'm used to, but I really don't see why that should be an issue at all.
I will be blunt - all of my men are older, rounded, very well worn, and only one still has hair on his head. NONE of that matters. Each of them is wise, witty, warm, their eyes sparkle, and their engines ignite when I walk into their arms. Trust me - it is the MAN inside who matters, not the packaging.