I won't have premarital sex. Yes, I am partially religious. And I don't want to risk any sort of chance of getting the girl pregnant. I'm a virgin by choice.
Can I get her to climax without intercourse? I like dry sex, but that's not enough. I know if I'm not going for any intercourse, I better be a master of foreplay. But foreplay alone won't do it. Foreplay is appetizer before the main course. So from reading this site a bit, it seems it's possible I can I make her climax without intercourse if I focus on fingering and cunnilingus. And since I'm definitely inexperienced, should I use oils and/or lubricants for fingering and caressing? Can oils and/or lubricants ever go wrong? Am I right or wrong?
Basically, I don't want to tease her. I want her to have as much pleasure as possible, without penetration.
> I won't have premarital sex. I'm a virgin by choice.
I applaud your choice; others will think this is a foolish position. There are pros and cons to every choice and this is no exception.
> Can I get her to climax without intercourse?
The answer is no. Each of us is responsible for our own orgasms. All any of us can do is to help our partner achieve his/her own. Key to this is for her to learn to masturbate, connect the "dots" between the nerves in the skin and the pleasure center of the brain. Once she makes the transmutation and can climax regularly and consistently on her own, she can then show you how to mimic her technique. The same holds true for you with her. I recommend reading the following Sticky Post in the NEW TO SEX forum:
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
I would like the two of you to read the following post:
For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?
The information in the above post will explain to the two of you the female physiology and clarify for her why she must learn to learn to masturbate before she can expect someone else to help bring it about.
> I know if I'm not going for any intercourse, I better be a master of foreplay. But foreplay alone won't do it. Foreplay is appetizer before the main course. So from reading this site a bit, it seems it's possible I can I make her climax without intercourse if I focus on fingering and cunnilingus.
...as well as all the necking, petting, and, heavy petting that must preceed foreplay.
Additional reading:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/married_and_long-term_relationships/1878...
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/19757-couple_questions.html?high...
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/19505-what_the_kinds_foreplay.ht...
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/sexual_health_women/19273-1st_time.html?...
> And since I'm definitely inexperienced, should I use oils and/or lubricants for fingering and caressing? Can oils and/or lubricants ever go wrong? Am I right or wrong?
Body oils and even light cooking oil can work wonders for a general massage and/or erotic massage. Before you begin, learn how to give a massage.
If you look around the Board you will find much has been written about lubes. Lubes can be a great asset. To find out, try some out on yourself.
> Basically, I don't want to tease her.
Teasing can be good in moderation and done occasionally.
> I want her to have as much pleasure as possible, without penetration.
Explore and learn together.
Short answer: yes, if she has given herself permission to enjoy sex
Long answer: what Dancing doc said.
Thank you! The links were helpful. And you are right - I can't do anything for her if she won't let me. There is no magic touch, there needs to be teamwork for this to work out : p