In water from a city supply, chlorinated, pregnancy is virtually impossible. With well water, highly unlikely.

If you need further reassurance, guys don't ejaculate from being embraced, the penis must be directly stimulated (though how much and for how long differs from one guy to another).

1. Sit behind him tandem style
2. Have him kneel facing away from you
3. Have him stand (either in the tub or shower)

What is often interesting about #3 is to see just how long you can tease him and how long he can remain standing before his knees buckle! :D and he begins to crumple to the floor powerless to stop.

You can also do this out of the bath/shower while drying him with a towel as he is standing at the counter. If and when his knees begin to fail him, have a good chuckle! and finish your activities on the floor.

As for the first two, if the water is draining from the tub, more than likely the semen will be washed away from the two of you and down the drain.

4. Take only a shower
5. Take only a bath
6. Begin with 5 and end with 4.

As for not wanting to engage in intercourse, fear not--just point out to him that guys have more intense orgasms from a good h/j or b/j (or the dynamic duo--both!) than they do from intercourse. (For a mature knowledgeable individual, he will (come to) understand that intercourse has more to do with the psyches.)

Have fun playing. Remember: Explore and learn together in partnership.

-doc

[QUOTE=Brandye;257775]In water from a city supply, chlorinated, pregnancy is virtually impossible. With well water, highly unlikely.[/QUOTE]

Interesting stuff Brandye - I always assumed that you could (however unlikely) get conditions with sperm able to live in the water.

How about jacuzzis? Where the water is a lot hotter and changed/treated less regularly?

Sperm is much like anything else - heat and chemicals kill it so hot tubs and jacuzzis deal death to sperm. Actually being out of the male will kill it, granted it takes about 8 hours, but it will die. BTW you CAN use poly condoms while in water and since you're also on BCPs you should have few worries.

[QUOTE=sensualGoddess;257838][COLOR="blue">Yes, I have looked into forms of contraceptives and all but I've been looking, but I'm choosing alternatives that would not put me in that situation.[/COLOR]

Which type(s) have your interest?

Besides in all honesty, I don't know how safe any of those contraceptives are versus abstinence.

Well, my guess abstinence will give you a long albeit solo life. :(

I gather you have not familiarized yourself with the articles listed in the Index. Here is one for you to read, including the internal links:

I'm Ready for SEX! (or am I?) I really want to do it.
[COLOR="blue">
With condoms, I don't know what possible chemicals i'd be putting in my body, I don't even know how safe it is for latex to be placed up there. [/COLOR]

Use only condoms without flavors or lubricant.

Alternately, you can use condoms made of Poly or natural materials.

Latex is fine as long as you do not have an allergy to the material.

[COLOR="Blue">As for the birth control pill, I know what those pills can do and my only question is "how do i know that the pill won't mess up my body's homeostatis and hormones and throw it out of whack?" [/COLOR]

These are questions for your gyn. to discuss with you. There are many different formulations and it can take some experimenting to find the best one for your system. Better to get started evaluating sooner than later.

[COLOR="blue">Birth control pills for women seem to carry a bit more health risks that would compromise me for the future, for instance like Yaz, it could raise the risk for heart attacks in women, or higher blood pressure. Hypertension, high cholesterol runs in my family, so I'm not sure if I want to chance that with my body...again, once I take the pill, how long will it take before my body returns to its normal homeostasis and my hormones stabilized again?[/COLOR]

These are all questions for you and your doctor to discuss. If you do not want the pill, then look into a diaphragm/spermicide combo, sponge, or an IUD for women who do want to have children in the future.

[COLOR="blue">Now as you can probably tell, I question a lot, so to save myself the questions and concerns and irrational fears that are placed above...

No sex= no problems. Abstinence, it's totally up to me, nobody is forcing me to put something inside of me that may or may not end up contributing to some health risks later on down the road. My bf has no problem with that, in fact it's made our relationship a lot more trusting and accepting than anything. Plus we both know that there are other ways to express our feelings of desire that would not lead us to sex.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Your questions and concerns are good and warranted; although, as noted above, you should sit with your gyn. and have an in depth discussion about options, alternatives, benefits, and potential problems.

> (btw, i'm not on bcp's, there's no reason at this time for me to be on them, we're not really sexually active right now, we're just taking everything slow, but I figured when he gets back, me and him could do more intimate things)

SG, you signed on for the first time six months ago and as of today have 142 posts. Have you read the recommendations about using contraceptives, and each of you looking out for and protecting A#1--each of you individually? It is not a good idea for either of you to rely only on your partner's method. We recommend three forms: his, yours, and, ours as a backup.

> As for when I want to do this, it'll be a later time, but i just wanted to get all the facts before I made the decision to do and prepare for this.

That you are taking things slowly is great; however, you should be prepared ahead of time, something you may be planning on. I simply offer caution so you don't get to the intercourse stage and have no protection in place for yourself.

The Pill comes in many forms and does take some time to acclimate to. They are not like aspirin in which you get immediate results. If you opt for another type of contraception, please plan ahead, and have it in place before the actual need presents itself.

At the very least, have a tube of spermicide available to go along with the condom.

You should have been going to regular gyn visits since your early teen years. Natural condoms are lamb.

[QUOTE=sensualGoddess;257843][COLOR="blue">How did this become a discussion leading to solely sex????[/COLOR]

Oh, I was being facetious.

[COLOR="blue">Oh well, might as well seek out more info after all this is a sex info site right?[/COLOR] :)

That it is; however, Brandye is the only one who can dispense medical information and this topic requires a face-to-face discussion with your doctor. Also, she recommends having an exam before having intercourse just so you know everything is OK--and, again, to have an opportunity to ask questions.

[COLOR="blue">Ok, so I read the some of the index, which i do read on occasion, mostly about the Program and all (albeit initally thinking, what does this have to do with me...I don't want to have sex yet...)[/COLOR]

Whether you need the information now, or later, I believe it is better sooner than later and to add the information to what you already know. In addition, for the two of you to discuss after both of you have read the articles.

[COLOR="blue">Well, do I believe that people should have self control when wrapped in the arms of lust, passion and intimacy? Yes. Is that what usually happens? No. I learned I'm not totally immune to this.[/COLOR] :) [COLOR="blue">and perhaps I will talk to my bf about bringing condoms into the mix now. [/COLOR]

Yup. Yet in the heat of passion, very often caution is thrown to the wind, only to worry or be regretted, later, when one or both people cool down and return to normal.

[COLOR="blue">In the beginning I did tell him that I didn't want sex, and to get rid of the temptation of us having sex, I told him to nix the condoms...in hindsight, bad move? Possibly. But I do trust us in our relationship now than I did back then.[/COLOR]

I know of many many stories about how in the heat of passion a guy cajoles and whines his way into having intercourse even though they made a pact not to have intercourse.
[COLOR="blue">
Now to the natural condoms...what are those made from?[/COLOR]

Answered, above. They do not protect a person from STDs.

[COLOR="blue">I will schedule an appt with the gyno soon, I'm 20, not active and if memory serves me I should be getting tested right about now or 21.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Before becoming sexually active, regardless of age. As for a physical, check with your doctor, be it every six months, yearly, or what.

Ok as to BCPs - they use the same hormones your body would produce when you are pregnant. By introducing these hormones into the bloodstream you body thinks "pregnant" and so does NOT ovulate. BCPS come in different formulations of the same hormones and in differet strengths - because women's bodies differ. Some experimentation to find the best formulation for you is required. They are perfectly safe. If you have issues with BCPs then most likely you will have issues when pregnant. BCPs are also, 99.999999% effective.

Natural (made from animal intestine) condoms are TERRIBLE and not anywhere near as effective as latex or poly condoms which are 99.something % effective when used correctly.

So condoms for anti-STD/STI transmission and BCPs for contraception. For triple layered protection, include a spermacide.

Off topic, but no birth control (contraception) system is 99% effective except surgical sterilization. Anyone reading the above please also read the sticky in Birth Control on the real life effectiveness of various systems.

While you're pregnant you do not menstruate either.

Don't you have any idea of how your body works?

The uterine lining builds up before ovulation. Ovulation occurs. If the ovum is not fertilized, it and the uterine lining is then discarded - menstruation.

If the ovum is fertilized, it will implant itself into the lining and you're then pregnant and certain hormones are then released into your body to sustain the pregnancy. While pregnant no further ovulation or menstruation is possible.

So all it takes is to introduce those hormones that sustain pregnancy - and it is a very small pill indeed - about the size of a fly's eye - and voila! - The reproductive system goes on hold. It is only when you go off the pill that you then menstruate again.

[quote]Although I didn't know that it tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant...I mean I've heard of a lot of women using BCP to control their menstrual cycle by regulating it or shortening it...[/quote]

Dear Goddess, on a regular birth control pill, you will stop every few weeks (mostly: after 21 pills, one each day). You won't swallow it for 7 days. This allows your body to clean out the uterus. This will result in a bleed that looks like menstruation. It is likely to result in less heavy bleeds. And a lot of woman will swallow the pill just a few days longer to make their bleeds fit their planning. That's why you hear a lot from women using BCP to control their menstrual cycle by regulating it or shortening it.

Some women get it prescribed for a medical reason as well; too long and too heavy bleeds or because your cycle is highly irregular, etc. If you'd really want no menstruation, there is a possibility by contraceptive injection. You'll get a shot of hormones every few months. Some athletes use it to prevent their cycle from getting in their sporty ways :)

Dear Goddess, I think you'd feel a lot better if you'd have an appointment with a doctor. Could be a gyn. Could be your local doctor. Could even be a local organization who gives info on (anti)conception. And no: you don't have to engage in intercourse right away just to get you some info and peace of mind! I know I did :)

Sensual,

Read the sticky Caution: Take Only as Directed. There is a post that explains exactly how the pill works.

Red,

Yes, some women use the bcp to time their periods. Not a good regular practice. Often results in breakthrough bleeding at unexpected moments and, as a worst case, pregnancy when the pill is stopped unexpectedly to the body. Follow the directions exactly or risk poor adjustment.

[quote]Red,
Yes, some women use the bcp to time their periods. Not a good regular practice. Often results in breakthrough bleeding at unexpected moments and, as a worst case, pregnancy when the pill is stopped unexpectedly to the body. Follow the directions exactly or risk poor adjustment.[/quote]
Brandye, thank you for this valuable addition! 10 years ago I was told at biology class that there was absolutely no harm in prolonging, as so many women do. That year I wanted to go on a holiday and experienced bad timing, so I consulted my doctor on this and he agreed with my teacher... Then again, I doubt if BCP ever worked properly on me as I would have break through bleeds even though I was being consistent, made very few exceptions. My doc a few years later said that I'm probably one of those few women who do not respond properly as the natural cycle continues to try and break through the enforced system... Yep, that sounds like me ;)

That would be a tip for any woman I'd like to give when trying out the BCP for purpose of anticonception. Get used to it and see how your body respons for a few cycles until you decide to really 'trust' it :)