I'm dating a girl who is very quiet in bed. She never says anything other than short replies to things I say. Some typical conversations:
Me: does this feel good?
Her: does it feel good for you?
---
Me: do you like this?
Her: yes
---
Me: *bam, bam* do you like it when I **** you hard?
Her: oh yes
Anyway, I have a hard time getting her to tell me what she likes, dislikes, wants, doesn't want, would like to try, and what her fantasies are. I also have a hard time getting her to dirty talk, which I enjoy on occasion.
I'm thinking one way to deal with this is to just make sex more conversational. I know that if I say things like "do you like when I **** you hard", she'll just say "yes"...one strategy I could employ is to say...
Me: do you like this?
Her: yes
Me: tell me what you like about this!
Her:
Me:
Anyway I'm not saying I want to like have a conversation during sex, but talking really turns me on, and I think she could maybe tell me more of what she likes too.
What do you suggest?
I am the same way as her... I am usually quiet and don't really have much to say. My b/f enjoys dirty talk...but I just feel dumb saying it b/c its like "oh you feel so good... etc"... It's not coming natural.. it feels fake... so I don't really like to do it.
Plus... don't be talking TOO much LOL
Maybe she could tell you more about what she likes outside of the bedroom... maybe she feels during sex isn't the time for a game of 20 questions.
I get you aren't wanting a biography... but some people just are shy and don't like to talk/be verbal during sex.
Personally, I find it hard to talk too much during sex, its a senses overload and its hard to focus on speaking especially when I'm nearly to the point of coming. When my partner asks me "Is it good?" I usually respond with a breathless yes that is a half moan.
Maybe ask her what she likes during your snuggle time after sex?
although i usually moan pretty loud during sex, i hate actually using words. mostly for the same reasons sera mentioned, it feels fake and i feel like an idiot lol :o