Hi! I have been with my wife for 21 years. 14 of them married. We have always had a good sex life, but lately my wife has been looking at me to bring more dirty talk into bed. I'm not opposed to this, but at the same time, we haven't done a ton of it over the years. I admit to being a little uncomfortable in this early stage, but I will get over it. What I really need help with is things to say. Sure I am a guy, sure I have a vulgar vocabulary to pull from, but I sometimes have trouble knowing where the line is between sexy and a turn off. Apparently, the word "asshole" is a turn off, but "ass" is ok. Can you help me develop my new dictionary of dirty talk? Thanks!
Fri, 08/13/2010 - 01:08
#1
Bringing dirty talk into the bedroom
You know what I find o be a turn on? Discovering new things and revamping old things with my wife. How do we go about it? Talk about what works, what does'nt, and what might work while we are not having sex. And sometimes we just experiment. There is nothing that beats good communication in a marriage. While not having sex talk about limits; eg. words like asshole that don't work for her. Other than that just let it all hang out. You might find that going past your own limits and talking in a way you are unacustomed to talking makes you feel pretty good - especially when your wife gets more turned on by it.
I like dirty talk,particularly when i am almost reaching orgasm.I like to be called names like"dirty bitch", "sexy slut","wholesome whore"ect.Maybe this is not what your wife will like,you should ask her how she wants you to talk dirty to her.I am usually not very vocal when having sex i scream and moan but sometimes i like to bring out the other naughtier side of me mainly when i can control what goes on in the bedroom
If she does NOT think of sex as 'dirty' or if she does NOT think she should be 'punished' for enjoying sex and embracing and rejoicing in her sexuality, she may NOT enjoy dirty talk in the bedroom even if she says she would like to try it.
To test , begin by being vigorous and demanding and during intercourse say things such as "So you like that eh?" or "You're a sexy piece." Call her your "wild girl". There's no need to leap right into gutter vulgarity right away. It may be that what she really would like is simply you being vigorous and demanding.
Your discomfort is legitimate and you are right to be cautious as there is a very thin line between "igniting" and insulting. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what happens if you insult your wife, even inadvertently. On the whole, I agree with dlb.