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Boys.. Boys.. Boys

hay everybody! oberon ;)
alright.. i got a question, er well more wondering what you guys think of this situation. Alright. My ex JOSH me and him are great friends and do want to be together, we broke up because of distance about 2 years ago..and we arent dating or anything right. Ok now there is Joel this guy i met.. who i just wanna have FUN with.. me and josh talked about it.. and we're ok with it and what not. With joel i'd rather have fun we arent dating either but he thinks we are.. EVEN THOUGH i said.. no labels.. becausei can't do that right now.. anyhoo... Joel thinks this right, and next april here.. im moving out and im moving in with josh and about 4 other guys. we're all friends and what not.. BUT how do i say this to joel? cause when josh moves to where i am.. i'll be living with him and we would probally end up being "together". So really the question is... how do i go about telling joel about this.. cause hes so bloody attached to me already. Known him since JULY and hes alreayd like... I LUV YOU.. its like PULEEEZE.. *rolls eyes*.. lol ok enough of my ranting... sorry for the long post.. and i hope everyone who reads it understand its :P sorry if it aint clear

jamie

"And these are The Days of Our Lives..."  

Well, Lady, no wonder you're confused... this is like a tennis match... with you bouncing over the net between Josh and Joel...LOL.  Isn't it funny that in tennis "love" means "zero"??  Just something to think about...lol.

Well, I'm not sure what to say... you are the only one who can decide which one of these guys you want.  Unless they are willing to do a "timeshare" kind of thing, you're gonna have to pick one.  Just pick the one you think you like the best.  

Good luck.  I hope it all works out.  

im retarded LOL i swear
OK
Before i left to Humboldt*2hours from where i am*Saskatoon*.. lol Canada... anyhoo... before i left.. me and joel we're seeing eachother alot and he can be VERY clingy.. i mean.. CLINGY.. like always hugging and trying to kiss you and its like "OK buddy.. my best friend is standing right there" LOL one of those... but then i told him before i left.. that i dont like that... right? cause im not used to that much attention or whatever... and it bothers me. AND THENNNNN I seen Josh before i left *he was here the weekend before*.. just visiting his cousin and we hung out and we felt closely connected.. whatever.. right? THEN lol i finally went to humboldt.. we did it.. and like... i was fine... just hangin out. but there was a tension there, but oncewe did it... i just didnt wanna be around him at all.. and i just push away now... and WHEN I got back... i went and seen Joel cause i was in the city... and like he was kinda distancing himself.. so he wasnt clingy.. but almost made it so i would go to him.. when i chose to.. and he would come up to my ocassionally and give me a hug and stuff.. but it was WAY better... he wasnt so bloody clingy.. and then i just.. liked him more and more and pushed josh to the back of my mind.. NOW LOL the hard part.. i duno if i should live with josh after this.. im sure i can.. just i don't know.. if he can.. cause after that it just changed how i felt about josh
i think deep down we were more just friends than anything.. and i was just annoyed with Joel and how clingy he was being to me. GAH lol
I don't know.. but josh feels something weird cause i was talkin to him the other day and he felt the weirdness lol on me :P oh well

ill figure it out..

Jamie

If you know each other for only a month or so, I guess it all about liking and not yet love, so he can't be THAT attached to you...
Tell him something like "I am not looking for a serious relationship.", and then offer him either to quit now, so that he doesn't get even more attached to you, or to keep the relation not serious (if he can do that).
You shouldn't be with him just becouse you feel sorry for him. It's just like if a guy tells you his penis hurts becouse he haven't had sex for 1/3/10 months, and then you sleep with him (emphasizing :) ). It's your life.

Wow, this guy sounds like he become a bloody stocker, howeva you spell it. Anyway be straight foward with this joel fellow and say "joel your bum, i just wanted to be f*** buddies and not be serious and im moving to europe, adios" who cares if hes sad you wont see him again right? And if the whole bull shit about moving dosnt work, hope you havent given him a key!

Hiya, LadyofLucidDepths!

Aren't you just the lucky one to have TWO guys wanting you...

It sounds like you've been honest with Joel.  If he has other ideas, then that's kind of his problem.  Maybe you could remind him a little, and start to break things off between you.  I know you don't want to hurt him, but you can't really do anything but be honest.  Just try to let him down easy, but after that he's just going to have to deal.

Good luck on your big move and I hope everything works out with Josh.

hi, thanks for the post.. yah no me and josh have tried we were together for a year.. but distance was and has always been aproblem. so ican't really start something NOW untill we move out.. and hes in the same city as me.. or its just stupid and the same thing as before.
Yeah, i should tell him where i see my self in a year... and just talk about that well, the bard part is.. i TOLD HIM what i wanted.. i just wanted fun!!! lol like.. i told him how it was gonna be.. you know? but now hes all..Attached.. in a freaky obsessive way LOL like he can't go 3 days with out seeing me hell even a day and he goes all weird and just "I MISS YOU' every like 3 seconds.
i'm not playing his heart, i told him..what was up. maybe i just gotta remind him or something... LOL i guess this really isnt a question for the boards.. cause i alraedy know what my answers/options are... LOL i guess i was venting.. cause its so bloody annoying.. how Joel is.. lol but hes too cute :P good person.. lol GAHHH oh well
THank you for your post

jamie

Just tell Joel what you want from him, what you are looking for, and where you see yourself in a year or so. Be calm and sincear when you tell him, and be ready for him to be upset.

 The problem is how this will affect Joel.  As attached as you say he is, this may be rather hard for him.  So, it may be a kind thing to simply end it with Joel, rather than play with his heart for the next few months.

 If you and Josh are going to be together in the future, and you really care about each other, why waste time, start things now.  If you are looking to have your cake and eat it too...well, good luck because that just isn't the way the civilized world works.  Sorry kiddo, but good luck anyway.

OOO and the plot thickens.. LOL well joel now realises were not dating.. he said i was his gf. then appologised...for saying it to me.. umm LOL i was bad.. me and josh had sex.. whats with me taking everyones virginity.. ANYWAY.. im like not attracted to him at all LOL like it really turned me away made me realise i love him as a friend cause thats all hes ever been.. LOL i was at his palce for a few days.. which is about 2 hours from here.. LOL and didnt see joel then i seen him last night when i got back and irealised i really like joel
YAHHH IM confused. .what can i say.. LOL

oberon :P those are the only guys i've mentioned :P

wait im confused... lol

U like joel now? and josh is JUST a friend? please explain haha

I find this a very interesting situaton