* I have a bit of an akward situation goung on: My boyfriends makes me wear a anal plug when I'm with him and when I sleep. Otherwise he insists upon not hanging out. We have sex on a daily basis, with what started out as vaginal sex, but now is ONLY anal sex and blowjobs. He knows how much anal sex puts me in discomfort and I don't get off from it. When he surprises me with a visit and just comes over without notice and I don't have my plug in, he "punishes" me. Usually involves something sexual. My butthole is becoming stretched out with all the abuse it's been taking. I don't poop "right" anymore and my hole somewhat hurts now. Should I be worried about damaging effects? Btw.. I've read into the situation him and I have going on and we don't nor never agreed to a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship. This is just what's happened after time and his behavior keeps increasing. He's bought me new plugs each week so far as "gifts", and each week they increase In size. Should I be offended? What do I do if the plugs keep getting bigger and my hole can't take it anymore? I'm afraid he will force it in or continue to punish me when I fail to do his sexual acts. I lo e my boyfriend and don't want to lose him. This is a serious matter I have at hand so please don't set it aside as a joking matter, don't make fun! Nobody has been taking me seriously. I need advice. Thank you.
Sat, 01/22/2011 - 08:32
#1
Boyfriend MAKES me wear an anal plug. Read on.. HELP!
Tell him no. Simple as that.
You don't need a relationship like the one you are in. He is clearly only interested in you as an object, otherwise he would respect your boundaries. He does not love you, he does not care about you, you need to move on immediately.
Sounds like he has read "The Story of O" which is a classic novel regarding training of a woman for sado-masochistic behaviour. You do not have "a bit of an awkward situation going on," you are facing a potential disaster.
Yes, you are stretching your anus a bit and this has long term consequences including bowel incontinence - not tomorrow but in ten years or so.
You are slowly being made his slave and he is showing no regard for you, your physical health, your sexual satisfaction or your mental health.
You should not be "offended;" you should be frightened by what is happening and what you are allowing to happen to yourself. The relationship will damage you both physically and emotionally. As the relationships continues, the demands will become more and more dominating and you will be left a shell of yourself. Get out and get counselling.
I second the above information.
> My boyfriends makes me wear a anal plug when I'm with him and when I sleep.
More to the point: You permit this, why?
You are in charge of your body, your life, your peace of mind, your happiness, no one else. If you do not like this why are you permitting it to continue? You need to be woman enough, strong enough, proud enough, to set boundaries for what is acceptable and not.
Why is this person your boyfriend? Aren't there more suitable candidates? Why aren't you looking for better? I recommend that you read the articles in the Index under the heading of dating.
I agree He dont own you or your body. I would never wear one cause I dont like them. If you dont like them why do you wear them?
This is sexual abuse,you should NOT have to put up with this kind of treatment.I agree with all of the above advice particularly that by Brandye.LEAVE HIM and seek counselling.You can do better for yourself.
I agree with everyone who has told you to get out. Eventually, the "punishment" will change from sexual acts to beatings.
GET. OUT. NOW.
You deserve infinitely better than his so called "love", if he has ever even claimed to love you. He does not deserve your love. Hell, he doesn't deserve for you to leave him standing on his feet when you walk out. Shove a baseball bat up him where he's shoving....him....up you.
If he loved you he would not make you do something you didn't want to do!!! There's nothing more any of us can say but you need to leave him.
That's:
* saying it like it is
* pretty much all in a nutshell
* the long and the short of it
Walk out and don't look back.......he's into pain and control, get out as soon as you can....
Why the hell are you still with this guy?
Grab your things and get out of there!
THIS IS NOT LOVE!
You have the right to control your body and what is done to your body.
This situation will ONLY get worse the longer it continues - LEAVE NOW!
This is diffinately not a good situation for you and your reluctance to show resistance and authority over your own body has I'm sure gave this BF some sence of empowerment over you. The "punishments" are going to esculate the longer you allow this man this kind of control.
In fact, givin your discription of him, as Brandy mentioned, he's "grooming" you to be his own personal sex slave otherwise he would have had an open conversation with you about the BDSM lifestyle and only considered you as a partner if you were willing and agreeable. I don't claim to understand that kind of relationship but from I know, it's all about the "Sub", not the "Dom" and the Sub's boundaries and limits are upheld and respected to the highest degree. Grooming is a method of systematic control used by pediphiles and abusers alike to gradually strip an "unwilling" person down emotionally and physically to do what they are told through various means which can include what appears to be genuine concern and love at times to threats of or actual acts of harm. Everyone has recommended that you get out of this relationship while you still can. I agree!!
Now, someone who is a potential groomer/abuser may not be easy to get away from. I would venture to say that if he feels that he's got allot of time and effort in breaking you, he may get defensive or even violent. He knows where you live, does he also know where you work? Do you have freinds and family that you can depend on or a place to stay a few days? I would make a break from this relationship in a public place and change the locks on your doors and refuse to be alone with him or even speak to him over the phone. If he fears that he's loosing his possesion, something he feels rightfully belongs to him, he will employ any tactics necessary to regain control. Don't give him any possible chance to get you back in his clutches.
Just a thought, have you considered speaking with someone with women's protective services or abused/battered women agency. Most cities have them, if not county seats usually have at least one agency to offer assistance in lesser polulated and rural areas. Please try to get help for your own safety. The longer you wait, the worse it's going to get. You are brave and more capible than you think. I'm sending wishes and prayes your way for a good outcome for you. Good luck/Hugs.
[QUOTE=CleverName;264186]Tell him no. Simple as that.
You don't need a relationship like the one you are in. He is clearly only interested in you as an object, otherwise he would respect your boundaries. He does not love you, he does not care about you, you need to move on immediately.[/QUOTE]
I second this opinion. You don't need someone who doesn't respect you.
yeah i was trying to think of one...they don't have them at the newbury
comics in boston? bring an ipod loaded with decent music and some bear
mace if you have to go there, it's hipster season.
If you don't want to do these things you're describing, say no.
When you say no to a person and they ignore you -- it means they are trying to control you.
Say no once. If he doesn't listen to you, don't say no again -- just get away from him.
The first time you say no and he ignores you -- you are a victim. The second time you say no and he ignores you -- you're a volunteer.
Wow. Quite frankly I'd tell him no and if he doesn't agree to that, I'd dump him.
I'm not sure how many men have responded to this thread. I'm too new here to know how to tell the difference from the forum posts but....
From a male perspective, you are dealing with a psychopath who has no concern for your well being. Get out now!! His deviant fascination with this will only grow and become more perverse. Get out before he robs you of so much of your self worth that you can't get out.
This is the type of man that I will NEVER understand. Selfish, unfeeling, and maniacal. If you were my friend and you told me about this, he would be hospitalized by the end of the day!
To him, you are nothing but a sex object. He has NO concern for your well being, he just cares about getting his pleasure out of you. GET OUT before it gets worse. You deserve better. Why on earth do you permit this?
dump him and then get some guys you know to teach him a lesson
I am agree with you, you say absolutely right
if something does not bring pleasure,it should not be
He sounds like he is a pretend Dom. I've had a couple of Doms and not even in a 24/7 would your Dom make you do something that was truly painful and something you didn't truly like. A true Dom knows the diff between good pain and bad pain. And still shows your respect. I would get away from this guy because if your aren't in a BDSM relationship then why put or allow the plugs to be put in. No means no even in a relationship.
[QUOTE=Studmuffin;264236]Walk out and don't look back.......he's into pain and control, get out as soon as you can....[/QUOTE]
I second, third, and fourth this.
Also, constantly having something push in, instead of out, of your anus has been proven to be dangerous in both short and long term. It actually ruins the skin, especially doing this so constantly.
The guy is into control and unless this was a loving, consensual BDSM relationship, then get out now. I've read about BDSM enough to know that in all cases, they know they're not really slaves/masters, they just like the idea of it, even in a lifestyle. This guy just wants to be controlling. I've only been in one controlling relationship, and I simply told him NO when I had the right moment, and knew I'd never be able to see him again. He not only disrespected me, but my family as well.
As Humansexdoll said, a true Dom doesn't make you do something you hate. There's quite a difference between a Dom and a douche. :cool:
Yes this is a sick and twisted game he is playing with you. Anal sex is one thing but this is a bit more off the wall. Get a way from him and find a new guy. This is about control and not healthy. But on the flip side if you didn't like it you would not allow it period. Just like the woman in the story.
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