hi- ive been going out with a guy for seven months, in a sexual relationship and im very much in love with him.
ive had three sexual relationships where i was very intimate, felt really loved and it was great- he has had long one relationship where he was in love but didnt have , and also one with a girl he didnt love but had sex with but never really explored intimacy.
I feel like he doesnt understand making love rather than "having sex"- he doesnt want to give me oral sex because he says he doesnt know how- i enjoy doing it to him.He only goes to touch me "down there" :) if i ask him or make it really clear that i want him too. I feel like theres something missing from our sex life even though everything else is great.i tried to explain but he got upset that i was comparing him to other lovers. i know this must have felt bad for him but im trying to explain how great sex can be- im worried that due to a lack of intimacy we'll not last.
how can i improve things?
cheers- Nisor
Talk to him. I know he's going to get upset (my guy does too at times but for a different reason) but don't compare him to past lovers. That'll really make him shut down. Just let him know that you would really like to make it a part of your sex life and that if he doesn't know what to do, then you'll guide him through it.
Don't make him feel like he's doing something wrong, just that its something you want to add.
Point him to this forum and tell him to read it. And if he once again complains that he doens't know how, tell him that he didn't know how to drive before either, but he learned. And just like with driving, refusing to learn this will limit him in benefits he will get back.
very true. lol i never knew how to do oral... until i tried it. i say give (mostly) anything a chance.
i am a guy and can't figure out why any guy wont go down on his sweetheart. i love oral sex, and the guy who said he doesn't know how, i say BS. so all you ladies out there, i am very orally experienced
I agree with everyone else, and on a side note for my fellow Texan...
You're not that guy who every year would go to those parades in San Antonio and make a V with his fingers, then stick his tongue through it at the passing pageant girls on their floats, are you?
thanks for the feedback- i talked to him about it the other day- i think his ego was hurt... but i did it the kindest way i knew how....
hope to god things change a bit-
cheers
[QUOTE=nisor]thanks for the feedback- i talked to him about it the other day- i think his ego was hurt... but i did it the kindest way i knew how....
hope to god things change a bit-
cheers[/QUOTE]
I'm a guy and I can tell you right now that he is either intimidated or angry about the whole oral thing.
He knows that you love oral. He knows that previous lovers have given you oral and have done it well.
Therefore, it is not difficult for him to come to the conclusion that you don't think he is as good in bed as your previous lovers. HUGE blow to a guy's ego.
The more you press him on this, the more he will think about the fact that he doesn't measure up to the other guys. He expects that you still wish you could have sex with those guys and he won't soon forget that.
I seriously doubt that you two are sexually compatible. Either you will have to give up oral sex or your relationship will suffer. About the only thing I can think of is if there is something you have NEVER done sexually, perhaps you could tell him you've never done that and you would like to try it with him. That could potentially give him a boost, but I don't know...
Best of luck to you....
i feel sorry for you, its an experience i enjoy performing. talk to your guy bout why he doesnt want to do it. if its because hes not sure of what to do direct him to the pleasing her board on here. if its to do with confidence try talking bout your first giving head and how you felt bout it. it may help knowing what others felt/feel
As I've said elsewhere in this forum, problems usually develop when one person wants something that the other doesn't (sexual or otherwise). BUT,
"doesn't know how" sounds REALLY flimsy. I think something else is at the bottom of it. Can you get him to talk about it more fully? The two of you will have to reach some sort of compromise...If it's a visceral thing with him you may just have to give up on it and/or him (if it's that important to you).