Also, he fingers me, (and it hurts) will this reduce any pain when we actually have intercourse if he keeps doing so?

Yeah as this is true.

He says it'll probably be a bit worse since he only uses 1 finger (middle finger- so he can have a farther reach). Is that true?

You mean worse pain?

And as for being on top, your in control so if it really hurts you can stop, pause, or make it so it doesn't hurt as much. I don't know any ideas on how to reduce pain though.

Hope i helped :p

[QUOTE=Weird_Angel]Also, he fingers me, (and it hurts) will this reduce any pain when we actually have intercourse if he keeps doing so? [/QUOTE]

I'm thinking you two need to figure out the fingering thing first. If that always hurts, then you need to communicate with each other and figure out how to make that pleasurable for you.

You shouldn't feel like it's your "duty" to have sex with him when your foreplay isn't even feeling good to you.

When I lost my virginity, I was never fingered or anything before cause I wasn't too comfortable about it. It didn't hurt me too bad, but I wasn't on top. My boyfriend wanted me to be on top but I said no that way he could just get it in because I knew if I was on top and it hurt even a little I would just stop. Also, the first time we went to have sex, I had to have him stop cause it hurt me super bad cause I wasn't wet or anything of that sort. The next time we had a well lubed condom and it went in and I didn't have any pain at all. My friend on the other hand, her boyfriend wasn't wearing a condom the first time and it hurt her bad. She bled a little, I've never bled. But, she was fingered before too, so I think the pain will just depend on your tolerance. Fingering might help, but sometimes it might not. If he only uses one finger, it won't help too much unless it's the same size as his penis, but I doubt that. So, just do what makes you comfortable. If you don't want to be on top tell him you will next time cause you're kind of nervous and don't want to worry about hurting too much.

when he fingers you, make sure he isnt going in the wrong places, and that his finger nails are well (smooth?) filed, because that can lead to pain.

i believe using pillows and stuff like that while being on top can ease the pain (depending where exactly and how it hurts) if you use them.

[QUOTE]Also, he fingers me, (and it hurts) will this reduce any pain when we actually have intercourse if he keeps doing so? He says it'll probably be a bit worse since he only uses 1 finger (middle finger- so he can have a farther reach). Is that true?[/QUOTE]

it (if anything) will prepare you for intercourse, but it wont be the same since (and im almost positive) his finger isnt as long as his penis would be. if foreplay and all that hurts you, i dont think intercourse will be too exciting. unless of course, if you are into pain and things like that.

if anything, communication with your boyfriend will definately help the situation out/ make things run smoother. if he actually likes you/loves you, and you tell him it hurts or something (im not accusing or anything) then he should either change his method or stop.

my girlfriend (while i was fingering her a few nights ago) told me my fingernail was hurting her. so, i switched fingers, and she was just fine after that.

does your boyfriend ever use another finger or change his method of fingering you? if not, try that to see if the results reduce (or eliminate) the pain you feel.

hope i helped :)

Ok- ive had sex an estimated 10 times, and im afraid of being on top.. tell him that u want bottom the first time cause u dont want it to be too bad, ya know?

> My boyfriend and I are both a virgin. He says he would prefer me to be on top for our first time.

> Is it ok for a virgin female to be on top? Any tips?

YES! Please read the thread "New to Being On Top" in the Pleasing Him department, including my reply #6.

lol yes its kool ( did i mention that?)

like he said, its all good. just may be different than if you was on the bottom, since you both are virgins...

Woman on top for the first time is better for you in a sense that you can control how far he goes, since you're the one who's going to be uncomfortable the first time.

Fingering can prepare you for something bigger than what you're used to going in there.
My boyfriend and I have been preparing me that way. He started off with one finger which was at first uncomfortable, and eventually was able to use two which was also painful at first but now it's comfortable.
It's eased my worry about intercourse knowing I can take two fingers in now comfortably.