I have a problem which I'm sure has been discussed previously but I just don't know what to search for (obviously, english is not my native tongue). So I decided to start a new thread.
When me and my wife have sex, it will sometimes get to the point where almost all friction is lost. I'm not sure what it is, if it's just too much (natural) lubrication, if it's me being too small or loosing my hard-on (after a while of low-friction action I usually do, it's just hard to know when it starts to go down) or if it's her vaginal muscles not being what they should after having given birth a few times. Anyway, the end result is a lost erection, no climax and just general frustration (at least for me, when it happens I usually try to get her off using my fingers, tongue, you know, the usual stuff)
Any ideas as to what might be going on and what can be done to improve the situation?
First of all, had you not mentioned that English is not your primary language, no one would be the wiser. You write better than a lot of natives! Kudos.
My first guess is that you are beginning intercourse too early. Many people nowadays operate under the misguided misconception that the best way to an orgasm is from lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking. WRONG. The ideal method is to spend a lot of time (half an hour or more within reason) making out and building each other's excitement, anticipation, and, arousal. Intercourse should begin when a guy is near the point of losing control yet can still shift around and get into position. Your climax should happen within the first two-four minutes. Should it occur with the first few strokes then this is considered Premature Ejaculation and you will find an article in the Index that gives solutions.
What position do you use most of the time? Have the two of you experimented with other positions? (Refer to the site's Home Page for animated illustrations.)
Please change your approach to fooling around and making out so that you are at or very near peak when you begin intercourse and see how this improves results. Along with this, are you helping her to climax, first? Try this and let her caress your penis just enough to maintain your high level of arousal. Good manners are to help your wife climax first, last (if it is her wish), and then the two of you as many times in between as desired).
If you have no trouble ejaculating when masturbating, then there should be no problem if you have intercourse; although, you may have to explore positions as well as how you go about arousing each other.
With the aim of improving your language skills - it is "My wife and I" not "me and my wife". It is a question of manners more than grammar nevertheless how you use the language tells more about you than you might at first suppose. "me and my wife" indicates that you're an uncaring lout whereas "my wife and I" shows you are a gentleman.
The loss of friction can have many causes and it may not be just the one cause working but several; all contributing at any one time.
There are, in addition to Doc's recommendadtions below, several threads that can help you. They are: The Program, The Four Hotspots, and Body Worship. All of them are located in the Married & Long Term section.
I tend to avoid penetration as long as possible, but that might be something to consider.
Position is the usual comfortable sideways face-to-face variation. Sometimes it's the missionary, but that one's both boring and uncomfortable (yes, I'm probably sort of weak). sometimes she'll get on top, but not very often. she says doggystyle makes her feel like she needs to take a dump and she doesn't like it when it gets sticky/messy (a little bit of pre-cum is fine, but if she notice any on her hands she'll start complaining about it and it usually ends). Her climaxing is a topic of its own (I'm not sure she's letting herself get all the way there... what's beyond the point where she feels like needing to pee?)
Next time I'll see how long I can wait before penetrating, see if that makes a difference (plus I'll definitely check if it's due to a loss of erection)
weird thing is it didn't use to be like this and the routine really hasn't changed all that much.
kegel excercises, could they make a difference (from what I've heard, she would benefit from them regardless of our sexlife anyway. I think I should try some excercises as well...)?
EEK: thanks for the english lesson :)