I just found this vid. [url=http://www.zie.nl/video/opmerkelijk/In-de-Gloria-Anale-seks/m1dzle3fduuo]In De Gloria Anale Seks - Opmerkelijk - Video - Zie.nl
It's an extract of a Belgian sex & relationships tv-show with real couples, but the language doesn't matter much. What truly fascinated me was the bodylanguage between the man and the woman. (especially pay attention to the one that is not talking). You could even watch it with sound off.
To give you a bit of translation:
[INDENT]Prior (man hardly speaking) they are a happily married couple for 27 years, kids out of the house and they've decided to spend each sunday with just the two of them, rediscovering those intimate moments. Sex, but also just the little pleassures of making your partner breakfast. Today they've decided to go for anal sex. The woman came to think of it when she was at a friend's house, which she always enters through the backdoor. The woman tells how they've prepared by seeing their docter prior, got special lube and upstairs she set the mood with an ocean of cadles and they have a good bottle of wine and little snacks ready. Before they go upstairs she says "well, now we're ready... Come on. Come!" and he says "Well... I guess we have to make it through this..."
-fade to black- 3:30 min-
Afterwards (woman completely silent) the man tells how wonderfull, unbelievable and beautiful it was. That it was a bit difficult to get it right in the beginning. But it just got extraordinary. How he feels so deeply gratefull that his wife asked him to get to know her from another perspective. That after 27 years of marriage this was such an unique event. It's incredible how amazingly close he feels to his wife. And last sentence: "this is certainly for repitition handable! Isn't it, hun?"[/INDENT]
I'm curious what you guys see...
I think this sets a schoolexample of two people who are incapable of reading eachother correctly. Perhaps do not even make an effort to understand and can not anticipate on the other at all. And by doing so, you could say they practically victimize eachother... Sad as it may be... :( The biggest irony being the postcard/picture shown at 02:57 which says: "Als wij elkaar verstaan, gaat alles zoveel beter!" meaning "If we understand eachother, everything is so much better!"...
Wow. Here's what I see:
Beforehand: she's very excited to try this new and different idea, it appears that even merely talking about it is getting her hot. While he's unsure about it, and definitely uncomfortable talking about it. You can see that in his change from hand on her knee at the beginning, to arms crossed over his chest at the end, and his reluctance to climb the stairs.
Afterward: I could tell this was not good by their demeanor as they came down the stairs. She's been knocked sideways--she can barely walk, is unsure if she can sit, and looks ready to vomit. While in contrast he's oblivious to her condition and extremely pleased with his performance. If looks could kill, she'd have him dead an buried for that last comment he made.
Looks to me like she was excited about the idea, but in practice it didn't work out. Whereas he perhaps had, shall we say "stage fright" (non-camera-related), and interpreted her reactions during the event as just the opposite of what they may have been.
And, yes, I got that without hearing a sound. How did these two not get it about each other?!?! Hopefully he did begin to understand after her glare.
Exactly what I saw as well, Int! Isn't it just amazing how strong bodylanguage is! :)
With small addition on the before-part that I felt like she was pushing her excitement upon him. Going up those stairs, he followed her like a good piggy going to the abattoir. I watched it sound off with my bf tonight and he read about the same as we did. And I must admit that he is better than I am in reading people; in daily life it's like a second nature to him to notice the slightest change in posture, facial expression, etc.
I sure do hope the man in this vid understood that "look to kill!". If not, than all hope is really lost for these two people ever understanding eachother. Given the communication beforehand and afterwards, I highly doubt that during was any better... No miracle he hurt her, as unintentional as it may have been. 27 years of marriage... how they've managed that, really beats me! Maybe they really lost eyes for eachother en should be reviving a hell lot more. ;)
I don't find it all that unusual for one to be a little more excited about a new thing than the other may be. Happens all the time. T once let me buy an item that I've come to find out we'll probably never use. At the time, it was partly an exercise in me getting outside my fairly sheltered "box" a little bit. But we've discovered since then that I'm a little more into the idea of actually USING it than he is, and that he was very much limited to support of the personal expansion concept.
However, I truly did think at one point that the woman in the vid was going to lose either consciousness, or control of her stomach. How her husband--or anyone, for that matter--could manage to miss that is beyond me.
True, Int. I mean; I practically felt my stomach turn upside down feeling so sorry for her. My bf let out a sigh while mumbling "o dear, she's hurting real bad!". So how come her husband doesn't even see? 27 years! keeps echoing in my head. Given that he even glared up at her in an adoring matter as she came downstairs, he should have seen it immediately. I would have expected that glare to turn into somewhat shock, him getting up immediately to give her a helping hand and support, like "OMG, hunny are you ok?!?"
I do not mean to say she hurt him quite as bad; the negative outcome weights rather heavy(!) I do mean to say that these two people seem to be living in separated worlds. The other is there, but they do not feel or see the other, even miss the obvious :(
I think you're being generous to him. They have robes on, there had to have been at least a little clean up.....he should have noticed before they even got to the stairwell.
Should have; yes off course! No doubt about it! I would have expected them to look at eachother and evaluate before going downstairs. In fact this shouldn't have gone so bad, if they would be constantly communicating (and understanding) every step along the way. And if I would see my partner in such condition, I would have gone downstairs alone, shortly explaining how things didn't go well and sending away the camera's, creating al time and space to comfort my partner. Damn, I would feel guilty for enjoying something that mesed up my partner so badly and not noticing. Any person should! But to me this is such a weird situation that it really makes me doubt everything... Did they do this wearing traditional sheets with a little hole in between them, so that it was impossible to see eachother? Averting their eyes? Stuffing their ears? Apparently the answers are 'no'; he simply doesn't see her. He is blind not seeing his wife going downstairs in agony when clearly looking at her.... Eyes wide shut. I don't think anyone will be able to explain to me how these two have managed to stay together for such a long time... o well, maybe they immediately got divorced after this... allthough somehow I truly doubt that too..
So: really not trying to be generous, I was simply referring to something that we as the viewers could see happening clearly. Which makes it impossible to assume about anything going on upstairs, accept for that it must have been just as wrong. Honestly, I'm flabergasted. which is why I shared this. And I'm glad to hear that I'm not just oversensitive :)