[QUOTE=Quote (Albedo @ July 19 2004,13:41)]Ok, Ive never heard of the term "milking" before. What the heck is that. and hows it done. *remembers to tell girlfriend when someone responds* [/QUOTE]
check out sexinfo101.com in the tips for handjobs. there's a detailed explanation there.
Lick him under the balls upward, stimulate until he has an erection. Then lick his balls in one motion, moving your tongue upwards in between both testes from the base of the penis to the tip underneath the frenulem, then licking to the side, then the other side, then from under the tip over the top to the base. Then deep throat him, sucking on the balls for a while. Pull back without taking your tonge off, go back doen the bottom side of his penis down the middle of his testes, licking and sucking on his balls from one side to the other, then do this from the beginning to the end.
(I just want to help you ladies out.)
Sorry if this technique looks amateur, but I'm only a virgin after all.
That's weird, I have rings on every finger but two (for the simple matter that I don't know the size of my pinkies. lol.), and my guy has never complained about my rings... and believe me, if it bothered him, he'd complain. lol.
Wow...nothing like a good tight grip (but take off any rings...dear god take off the rings) and work the whole thing slowly, I think he'll appreciate it. If you give him a real visual he'll love it, at least I know that's how I like it.
Well, as far as the intercourse, it's not that she doesn't like it. She just only likes missionary. And even then, it hurts her at first. That's why I push really slow and easy until she gets into it. She's tried being on top a few times, but she doesn't like it, even though it works great for me (I shattered my knee and shoulder in the army, so some things are uncomfortable for me, like supporting my weight in missionary. But I do it anyway, because she seems to like it.) She knows this. I try to be supportive and creative, but nothing seems to work. We're going to try something new next time we're together. A few ideas some of you have given me. Thankyou, everyone. And as for being young, you're right. I'm only 23. And she's 21.
I know what you're saying, but when I talk to her about sex, I don't let her know how frustrated and upset it makes me. I know she's new at it. But we've been active for 2 years and there's been no improvement. I could handle it not being good if there was some movement forward. She doesn't seem to trust my guidance or suggestions, no matter how small or simple. Everything is "weird" to her. I try to understand this. But after so much time, it's starting to get to me. I try to be as tactful and understanding and supportive as I can. And I know that's a lot more than more men would be. and as far as "all the other women who've pleased me", there's only been 1 other girl I was with. I've been focused on her since we first started, doing whatever I know she likes. Almost every time we are together, she has an orgasm (usually by manual stimulation since she's nervous with oral and won't try any new postions for penetration). I'm just a little frustrated. I think she knows, but I'm not as blunt with her as I am here.
But I think you're right on a few things. Thanks for the outside perspective.
Ok, sorry this is a little off topic, but I didn't know where to put it and I'm getting desperate. My girlfriend and I have been together almost 2 years. We're supposed to be getting married in september. But the sex is awful. She was a virgin when we got together. And she seems not willing at all to learn. All she likes is mutual masturbation. She won't tell me what feels good or let me try anything new. She abhores the idea of blowjobs and is very nervous when i go down on her. She doesn't seem to like being penetrated much, either. She will only go for missionary, and doesn't get into it. I haven't had an orgasm from her in almost 6 months. I love her with all my heart, but I'm going nuts. I told her everything I'm feeling, but nothing is changing. I don't know what to do. Any advice anyone has will be more than appreciated.
Yea totally discuss it w/ him. He probably thinks you just rather not be bothered w/ it or something. He shouldn't be w/holding oral from you anyways, but thats besides the point.
I would do like Lilly says and just be honest. Say you had a real bad experience with your ex and are trying to overcome it. Just take it slow and don't go for a full BJ first try. Baby steps!
I was hesitant to give my b/f a BJ at first b/c I was a virgin before that and a virgin at BJs. He totally understood my nervousness about not being good, or hurting him, etc. He was patient w/ me and just encouraged me when I was able to do a little at a time. I eventually was able to do more and more... so thats just how you'll have to approach it.
Good Luck!
Thanks for the suggestions. I don't know how to really explain the problem that I have had in the past. The past boyfriend demanded I give him a bj, He has a small one, he was also abusive. I trust my current bf and want to please him. Oh and another reason I want to be able to give him a bj is that he is with holding oral from me because of it (me not giving him oral) not fair but that is how he is handleing it, we have never talked about it. he will tease me about giving me oral but never does and hasn't for a very long time and we have lived together for 3 months. I think it has been 2 months or more. I guess I just need to explain the situation to him. thanks for the help any other suggestions will be appreciated
[QUOTE=Quote (cowgirl @ April 12 2005,18:39)] How does a person get over their, not really a fear but something like it, of giving a bj. I was in a bad relationship once and was forced to give them by him. I would like to please my current boyfriend with a blowjob, but I am not sure how to get over my bad past any advice [/QUOTE]
I can't add much to Lilly's great suggestions.
But, having been in your position at one point in my life, this is how I got over it:
My issue was the forcing... As long as I was not forced, I enjoyed it; but any sense of forcing ended any pleasure or desire.
It was a control issue for me created from a bad experience as well; so as long as I have control of it, then it is easy and extremely enjoyable because I am the one giving it.
It is also a matter of trust. The more I trust, the easier it is for me to enjoy it; however, I still, to this day, am sometimes uncomfortable to have my head touched from behind to push my head deeper. If it's pulled with the hands on the side of my head that is different, but pushed from the back of my head really is troublesome for me. I just remind him not to push. Everything is ok because we are wanting to please each other.
My best suggestion would be total communication with your current bf.
Tell him why you are a bit 'gunshy'. Tell him you would like to please him with a bj, but need his total word that he will not force you down on him or touch you unless you are totally comfortable. Maybe the first time, just play with some kissing and licking.
Work a little more in each time. don't try to do it all at once. He will understand, if he's a good guy and will love the fact that you are working up to giving him a great bj!
Hi everyone! I am brand new here and like what I have read so far. I have a question and am wanting some advice please. How does a person get over their, not really a fear but something like it, of giving a bj. I was in a bad relationship once and was forced to give them by him. I would like to please my current boyfriend with a blowjob, but I am not sure how to get over my bad past any advice I know it sounds weird but all of this is true and i would like to be able to please my bf with a bj that he wants but I can't because of my past.
How do guys feel about a woman sucking on it by pressing it to the roof of her mouth and at the same time moving the tongue up and down the back of the shaft? Try it and let me know?
thats a damn shame. I think its pretty rude to get someone going and then not finish what you started. Even if it takes a while, you can always take a break and then go back...
And she should stop sucking and start actually sucking. aha.
[QUOTE=Quote (demonbuttercup @ Aug. 16 2004,11:01)]you do suck tho. imagine how it is when you eat a popsicle. how you are kind of sucking on it and pushing it into your mouth.[/QUOTE]
i don't know why, but when my ex decided to start trying to give blow jobs she wouldn't suck. She did a lot with the tongue, but never sucked. I told her to suck on it like she'd suck on a lollipop and she said she was never a fan of those, so later i told her to suck on it like you suck on a straw trying to drink a thick milkshake. she tried for a couple of seconds, but then stopped. she never tried giving a blowjob for more than a couple of minutes anyway, which was very frustrating. she sucked (not in the literal sense) at giving blowjobs.
milking is like after he cums you don't just stop sucking or stroking.
after he cums you slowly stroke and gently squeeze his penis to literally "milk" all the semen out. you can suck lightly too. he's sensitive so be gentle. lol.
at least thats my definetion of it.
I've always fantasised about giving a guy a blowjob..but I'm actually quite intimidated...scared of the actual act.
I'm scared of the moment when he actually cums..I'm not sure I want him to cum in my mouth? Is that..selfish? What if its 'rude' to want to stop before he cums..? Any advice?
I'm a guy with a particularly stubborn cock and GFs often have to finish me with a BJ after sex as I rarely cum in the pussy. Here's what I find works for me:
I like to be stood and I like the GF to be on her knees when she blows me. It's not about dominance (at least not for me) but quite simply the position in which my cock feels most comfortable and excited being blown. It's a position that also improves the excitement and possibilities of a BJ in plenty of other ways, for example:
1) For the guy the sheer excitement of looking down and watching the gal at work is priceless - the visual counts for plenty - and for both the eye contact both during the BJ and during his orgasm is intensely erotic.
2) I like to know I can hold her head tightly (tugging on her hair if she likes that) and thrust my hips freely as I get excited. A BJ can start so so sensual, but for me to cum it really has to reach the so so physical - and at a maddening pace. Just how much thrusting and tugging goes on depends on the moment and on the lovely lady on her knees, but a hectic rhythm is what lures the best orgasm out of my stubborn cock.
So yes, I need a gal to be very physical - both with her mouth and with her hands. Once I'm excited the subtleties are lost on me - I need to feel a gals mouth working hard and *very* firmly on my cock, but I also need her to be using her hand to be jacking me off into her mouth as she works. This is not about teasing or sensuality at this stage, it's only about getting the cum to burst from my cock. Very physical. Very firm. Lots of eye contact.
Once I start to cum I like the GF to keep jacking my cock into her mouth to milk me. Her rhythm can be slower now (it will have been very fast up to the point that I burst) but some rhythm should be maintained and her lips kept tight to my cock until I'm finished.
As one of the ladies on this thread also mentioned a slow disengagement is the most erotic... After my orgasm I like the GF to so gently suck and lick at my cock and stroke my shaft - but nothing too hard at this point as my cock will be very sensitive after cumming.
I'll admit that the above are very particular to me, and the sheer level of physicality involved is based purely on the fact that my cock will not cum otherwise.
yeah you don't actually blow. i never understood why it was then called a blowjob.
you do suck tho. imagine how it is when you eat a popsicle. how you are kind of sucking on it and pushing it into your mouth.
blowjobs also have a lot to do w/ the tongue. focusing attention on the head w/ it. as well as other areas.
okay...well i really need some help here, not having much experience in this area. i am keen and eager but am worried about looking like i have no idea what i am doing (which i don't).
the more i read, the more confused i am. a blowjob doesn't involve sucking or blowing, to suck like i'm sucking a lolly...everything seems to contradict or doesn't give enough detail. so can someone please explain stuff in detail for a novice like me (or direct me to somewhere).
hey i just read one really good oral article by someone from anohter site.lol
the website is thesexden.com i found it on the first page and tried what i read with my b/f and he really liked it so i think its prolly not a bad article. i liked it lol
Whatever dick won't fit entirely in your mouth, stroke it with one hand so he feels fully enveloped. Use the other hand to massage his balls at the same time.
Take his dick as far into the back of your mouth or throat as you can and swallow several times.
Swirl the tongue around the head of his dick on the upward suck while it's in your mouth.
Move your head in circles while his dick is in your mouth. The back of your throat will massage his dick and feel very good to him.
Look him in the eye while you suck him.
Moan while you suck him.
Swallow him.
After he cums, hold his dick in your mouth for a minute or so. Then give him one last gentle suck as you take it out.
Keep your teeth covered at all times so you don't hurt the poor man.
I read the majority of these posts and skimmed the rest, so I suppose that I may have missed this, but girls what posistion do you prefer to give oral (is that clear)? ie, on your knees? between his legs while he is on his back ? Some other way?
You know, I think every guy is sooooo different. Guitarman is right - ask what blows his mind! Watch him - and listen. And your mouth and tongue shouldn't be doing all the work. Use your eyes, your hair, your hands, your language... Plus, consider the blowjob the whole package - from arousing him to his orgasm. Experimentation is half the fun! Enjoy!
Since all men are different, the best way to please a man is to ask him what he likes and then do it. What works with one may be a total waste of time (or a turnoff) for another. Example: kissing or licking nipples. Most women who don't know better think guys will like this because it feels good to them. But for most guys, (including me), it's annoying.
About two years ago, my wife made at least ten years progress giving head in a couple months because she started asking me what I wanted her to do down there. Ladies, don't think you don't need to ask because you are so gifted or experienced. Do what he likes. Then, when he's going down on you, it will be about what you like.
Alright, this is an in depth explanation of my favorite technique.
I don't do alot of teasing before hand, because i found that my guy does not especially like to be teased.
But I still tease in other ways... first I do light kisses all the way up and down his shaft, gently cradeling his balls in my hand. I kiss my way up to the head and gently flick my tongue on the most sensitive part and swirl around the tip of the head and let my saliva drip over to create more moisture. I continue lightly kissing up and down the shaft and licking up and down like an ice cream cone, yum . Then, after I swirl my tongue around the head a bit more, i slowly take just the tip of the head into my mouth and kinda tilt and move my head back and forth with just the tip inside. I do this for a little while, then suddenly I let half of him slip inside my mouth. This sudden, unexpected movement of just the head being taken in to nearly half of him always gets me a moan from him. then i slowly slide from that point up up and down and gradually work my way all the way down until i'm taking him all in (still slowly) all the while producing more saliva. When I feel him getting closer, thats where my action comes in. He loves it when i start touching myself simultaneously and moaning while I increase my speed on his solid hard dick. I look up and give him a seductive look while I slide my firm hand all the way down his wet cock several times. AFter a little more sucking and thrusting up and down, and when he's very close to exploding I set in my final move- right when he's about to cum I place my two hands about midway on his penis close together and pull them each apart in opposite directions very quickly and firmly. This gives him the feeling of intense pleasure all around his penis at the same time, and its a great way to finish up. I usually only have time to do this for a second before he blows. The first time I tried this move on him i got the biggest reaction i've ever had from him. I usually decrease my pace a little once when he's cumming in my mouth but i don't stop altogether until he has finished cumming.
Thats my usual routine i use aside from a few more little moves and tricks but i'm very interested to learn more.
Hey forgot to mention a great deep throat technique, if you really wanna try it and feel very trusting of your partner... Lie on your bed, on your back, with your head hanging over the edge of the bed. This creates a straight line from mouth to throat. Have him guide the tip of his cock into your mouth. Put your hands on his hips and guide him in. you'll have to master breathing and thrusting, cuz when it's in your throat you won't be able to breathe. Do not let him thrust until you can get a rhythm down where you can breathe! He would probably be just as happy with you guiding his hips anyway. lol. Just something to try.
This is also a great position for tittie f***ing. except in that position he'll kind of straddle yoru head. and slide his cock through your tits. In this position you can lick that sweet little spot under his balls... very cool... while he slides it in and out of your tits!
i was told from the beginning that i did them very well.
last month he gave me some advice on how to do them better and what exactly I could do to get him going in a matter of seconds, and now he enjoys them even more.
so in short, to make them better, listen to what he has to say.
i'm a deep throat sucker. that doesn't necessarily mean i do deep throat because that is somewhat hard for me, it means that i suck from within so to speak.
and the tighter your lips can go around it, the better. use your hand at the end if you want to help create a better suction and so also, the part that you can't get your mouth on (because well, lets face it, you just can't fit a normal sized dick all the way in your mouth) is getting some attention and warmth as well.
as for practice, well, i never really thought about it before i started giving blowjobs, but i am a fiend for blowpops and tootsie roll pops and popsicles. and i guess after years and years of living off them all the stuff I did with them paid off. lol.
Okay, the girl before me kind of said what i was going to. lol. I have been told I'm "VERY" talented at blow jobs. ha ha.
Obviously all the little teasing beforehand is fun and totally functional, but it's not the nitty gritty of a blow job.
The main thing I think I add is enthusiasm!
1.You gotta love to do it and not have to be begged to do it! 2.You have to use lots of saliva! don't be emberassed when you make all of those messy slurpy noises! He loves it!
3. Once you get him nice and wet and hard, use your hand and bring it right up to your mouth, like and extension of your mouth. A nice firm grim, up and down the shaft with your lips and your tongue keeping very lubed!
4. Some guys do like a little bit of a twist in the middle - that's preference, just a small flick of the wrist (slowly) while you move up the penis, then back the other way when you go down.
5.gently play with balls, of course, or the perineum (however you spell that little spot under the balls) Before I even start a blow job.. I've thoroughly licked and flicked my tongue across it, so it's nice and wet to flick my finger across, gently, like an extra tongue.
6. and of course, if he's into anal, a lubed finger up the bum is gonna send him into orbit.
7. Try moaning or humming during the blowjob as well. stick your finger in your mouth now and hum a tune, cool, huh? lol
8. I also like sometimes alternating between an ice cube in my mouth, to sips of warm tea. or a hot rub flavored lotion. mix it up, baby! he he
[QUOTE=sweetheart05]Ok, I was thinking of the "kneeling between his legs" scenerio. Does anyone know if I can just kneel between his legs while he's lying on his back?[/QUOTE]
As long as he spreads his legs, this should work OK. But you're going to be bending over quite severely, so it could hurt your back after a short time. I think it would be more comfortable for both parties if he was sitting on something (edge of bed, chair) and you were kneeling on the ground.
Also this is a better setup so you can look into his eyes as you do it, which IMO is a *huge* turn-on for men.
BJ's are the most fun for a guy when...
1) He is standing, she is kneeling.This gives him a sense of being dominant over her. (2) She often looks up at his face when performing. (3) She pays attention to the testicles as well as the penis. (4) She goes slow. A standing BJ should take about 10 minutes. Any longer and he could get tired of standing. (5) Use lots of saliva. Be messy. (6) Tease it. (7) Talk sexy.
(8) She asks for him to cum. (9) She willingly accepts whatever location he wishes to deposit his seed. (10) It he cums on her skin, she plays with it. If he cums in her mouth, she holds it there until he has a chance to see it, then she swallows.
I'm the first girl who ever gave my guy head who used her tounge. Honestly I don't see how all the others didn't but he said they just put it in their mouth and did nothing.....*quirks brow*
Anyway, I'm much like Branye on this. I'll start by kissing the head and running my tongue up and down the shaft. Then I'll move down the penius half way and just start flickering my tongue back and forth on this one spot that I know that drives him crazy...I've tried to 'tongue flick' the little V thing at the head because someone told me it was the most sensitive part of a guy there but it doesn't do anything for my guy...maybe I'm on the wrong side. After that I may take him in my mouth and play around a bit, then take him completely out and blow softly on it. Aparently the hot breath drives some guys crazy.
I personally have no issue with playing with his balls while doing it. Or even sucking on them.
As for anus action...yeah my guy isn't up for that, at least on his end. lol.
PLEASE HELP!!!IM HAVING A PROBLEM GIVING MY BOYFRIEND A BLOWJOB. Now i dont know if this is common, this is my first boyf iv been sexual with. I'm really new to the whole thing.weve been together for 6 months now and i jus cant giv him a blow job because my jaw hurts!!!!I jus dont get if this is normal coz wen browsing this website i see many problems but not one like mine,,
I jus wanna kno if this is common and wat do you (girls or guys) do about it?
Wat happens is im sucking him with his bellend in my mouth humpin in my mouth basically so its kinda goin in n out and then i can do it for amount of time and then my jaw jus starts to pain, its like the wors epain ever, very aching and stabbing and i jus cant go on which spoils it coz i stop and jus wank him and let my mouth rest but it spoils the whole thing i can never make him cum wiv a blow job
JUS PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!IV got no one to go to coz my friends that i hav havnt gon that far wiv a guy plus id feel uncomfortable, i jus wanan kno if its common.....&wat to do
I have a question about positions when I'm giving a blow job. (I've never given one) While you're doing 69, do you HAVE to sit on his stomach with your back facing him? Can you kind of do a "Fine Dining" position w/ the roles reversed?
Also, is it easy to do it if the guy is sitting straight up, like in a chair or something?
I'm not sure about the 69...have yet to do one of those.
As for the sitting in chair...I'm taking it you're talking about him sitting in a chair while you're only giving him a blowjob which insues you're on your knees. Yeah, the guy can be sitting down and you can go from the side (puts more strain on your neck thou) or you could kneel inbetween his legs.
But having him standing up while doing it is extremely hot.
Okay, so you have told her the sex is horrible and that you haven't had an orgasm with her in six months?
Hmmm, don't know how she would not just perk right up and start being a regular porn star in bed....
Okay, now I'll be serious instead of sarcastic. She was a virgin. Sex is still new to her. You're the first man to ever really see her naked and that she has done all of this with. It can be pretty freaking intimidating! ESPECIALLY if you are going on about how much sex sucks with her! Noone is just born knowing how to be a master in bed. You are gonig to have to change your approach.
Learn how to please her! How many orgasms have you given her? Do you know?? Give her pleasure and focus on her. Then SUGGEST little things she can do for you. You will have to ease her into this. Not make her feel inferior to the all the other women who have been able to please you. She already feels bad enough and is freaked out enough by it. You will need a lot of patience.
Loving her very much is a good start, but maybe some others on here can give you some slow approahces for a shy beginner to learn the ropes.
Once she gets that first really great orgasm, she should be ready for more and want to try new things.
[QUOTE=Quote (finewine @ Feb. 07 2005,14:06)]How do guys feel about a woman sucking on it by pressing it to the roof of her mouth and at the same time moving the tongue up and down the back of the shaft? Try it and let me know?[/QUOTE]
My ex-wife used to hold it in her mouth when I came and push it to the top of her mouth and slowly move her tongue side to side till I came again and again
Hmmmmmm...well, I do this thing where I make sure my hand is nice and lubed up and I almost twirl it up and down the shaft and the head. This gets my guy so hot and he said no one has ever done it before. I also use my hand on the lower part of the shaft while twirling my tongue and lips around the upper shaft and head. He loves it and I love getting such a great response from him!!!
> A standing BJ should take about 10 minutes. Any longer and he could get tired of standing.
That is if he can manage to remain standing that long! What with all the stimulation I'd be surprised if he didn't crumple to his knees within moments of becoming very highly aroused.
> (5) Use lots of saliva
Saliva is the defacto standard lube; however, there are disadvantages with it, namely that it is not the slipperiest substance available, and two, it dries quickly and has to be reapplied often.
> i jus cant giv him a blow job because my jaw hurts!
The easiest way to prevent a sore jaw is not to hold your mouth widely ajar or to bear down on his penis.
If you have a hotdog or a small diameter cuccumber, or a carrot stick, in the refrigerator, take one out and practice with it. You only need to open wide enough to permit his penis to slip between your lips. Your lips should wrap over your teeth so as not to scrape his skin. Scraping does not hurt, although it is very annoying and distracting.
An alternative to the above is to pucker your lips and let his penis slip in between them. Again, your mouth need only be slightly ajar. Another important thing to do is to just relax and not tense up your jaw muscles.
Once mastering the deep throught thingy (Taking it all in) on your way out make sure that your tongue extendsand your lips are tight. Keep your teeth out of the way. You have to make your mouth act like a vagina. Better yet. Make your mouth act like his own hands. Use your hand at the shaft pulling uop slightly as your lips go down.
I am relatively new to this whole oral sex thing, I have recieved it a couple times, but have not yet let my BF have the pleasure.. I WANT to, but I am nervous that I will find it disgusting, or wont know what to do.. I don't want it to be akward.. And I am not sure if I want to "finish" him off.. I dunno If I wanna do that the FIRST time, so how should I end it?? How long should I go? I don't wanna tease him too much, but I also don't think I wanna take him all the way.. please give me tips and ideas, anything you have.. THANKS
[QUOTE=Quote (Albedo @ July 19 2004,13:41)]Ok, Ive never heard of the term "milking" before. What the heck is that. and hows it done. *remembers to tell girlfriend when someone responds*
[/QUOTE]
check out sexinfo101.com in the tips for handjobs. there's a detailed explanation there.
uncreativename
Lick him under the balls upward, stimulate until he has an erection. Then lick his balls in one motion, moving your tongue upwards in between both testes from the base of the penis to the tip underneath the frenulem, then licking to the side, then the other side, then from under the tip over the top to the base. Then deep throat him, sucking on the balls for a while. Pull back without taking your tonge off, go back doen the bottom side of his penis down the middle of his testes, licking and sucking on his balls from one side to the other, then do this from the beginning to the end.
(I just want to help you ladies out.)
Sorry if this technique looks amateur, but I'm only a virgin after all.
That's weird, I have rings on every finger but two (for the simple matter that I don't know the size of my pinkies. lol.), and my guy has never complained about my rings... and believe me, if it bothered him, he'd complain. lol.
Wow...nothing like a good tight grip (but take off any rings...dear god take off the rings) and work the whole thing slowly, I think he'll appreciate it. If you give him a real visual he'll love it, at least I know that's how I like it.
Well, as far as the intercourse, it's not that she doesn't like it. She just only likes missionary. And even then, it hurts her at first. That's why I push really slow and easy until she gets into it. She's tried being on top a few times, but she doesn't like it, even though it works great for me (I shattered my knee and shoulder in the army, so some things are uncomfortable for me, like supporting my weight in missionary. But I do it anyway, because she seems to like it.) She knows this. I try to be supportive and creative, but nothing seems to work. We're going to try something new next time we're together. A few ideas some of you have given me. Thankyou, everyone. And as for being young, you're right. I'm only 23. And she's 21.
I know what you're saying, but when I talk to her about sex, I don't let her know how frustrated and upset it makes me. I know she's new at it. But we've been active for 2 years and there's been no improvement. I could handle it not being good if there was some movement forward. She doesn't seem to trust my guidance or suggestions, no matter how small or simple. Everything is "weird" to her. I try to understand this. But after so much time, it's starting to get to me. I try to be as tactful and understanding and supportive as I can. And I know that's a lot more than more men would be. and as far as "all the other women who've pleased me", there's only been 1 other girl I was with. I've been focused on her since we first started, doing whatever I know she likes. Almost every time we are together, she has an orgasm (usually by manual stimulation since she's nervous with oral and won't try any new postions for penetration). I'm just a little frustrated. I think she knows, but I'm not as blunt with her as I am here.
But I think you're right on a few things. Thanks for the outside perspective.
Ok, sorry this is a little off topic, but I didn't know where to put it and I'm getting desperate. My girlfriend and I have been together almost 2 years. We're supposed to be getting married in september. But the sex is awful. She was a virgin when we got together. And she seems not willing at all to learn. All she likes is mutual masturbation. She won't tell me what feels good or let me try anything new. She abhores the idea of blowjobs and is very nervous when i go down on her. She doesn't seem to like being penetrated much, either. She will only go for missionary, and doesn't get into it. I haven't had an orgasm from her in almost 6 months. I love her with all my heart, but I'm going nuts. I told her everything I'm feeling, but nothing is changing. I don't know what to do. Any advice anyone has will be more than appreciated.
Yea totally discuss it w/ him. He probably thinks you just rather not be bothered w/ it or something. He shouldn't be w/holding oral from you anyways, but thats besides the point.
I would do like Lilly says and just be honest. Say you had a real bad experience with your ex and are trying to overcome it. Just take it slow and don't go for a full BJ first try. Baby steps!
I was hesitant to give my b/f a BJ at first b/c I was a virgin before that and a virgin at BJs. He totally understood my nervousness about not being good, or hurting him, etc. He was patient w/ me and just encouraged me when I was able to do a little at a time. I eventually was able to do more and more... so thats just how you'll have to approach it.
Good Luck!
Thanks for the suggestions. I don't know how to really explain the problem that I have had in the past. The past boyfriend demanded I give him a bj, He has a small one, he was also abusive. I trust my current bf and want to please him. Oh and another reason I want to be able to give him a bj is that he is with holding oral from me because of it (me not giving him oral) not fair but that is how he is handleing it, we have never talked about it. he will tease me about giving me oral but never does and hasn't for a very long time and we have lived together for 3 months. I think it has been 2 months or more. I guess I just need to explain the situation to him. thanks for the help any other suggestions will be appreciated
[QUOTE=Quote (cowgirl @ April 12 2005,18:39)] How does a person get over their, not really a fear but something like it, of giving a bj. I was in a bad relationship once and was forced to give them by him. I would like to please my current boyfriend with a blowjob, but I am not sure how to get over my bad past any advice [/QUOTE]
I can't add much to Lilly's great suggestions.
But, having been in your position at one point in my life, this is how I got over it:
My issue was the forcing... As long as I was not forced, I enjoyed it; but any sense of forcing ended any pleasure or desire.
It was a control issue for me created from a bad experience as well; so as long as I have control of it, then it is easy and extremely enjoyable because I am the one giving it.
It is also a matter of trust. The more I trust, the easier it is for me to enjoy it; however, I still, to this day, am sometimes uncomfortable to have my head touched from behind to push my head deeper. If it's pulled with the hands on the side of my head that is different, but pushed from the back of my head really is troublesome for me. I just remind him not to push. Everything is ok because we are wanting to please each other.
My best suggestion would be total communication with your current bf.
Tell him why you are a bit 'gunshy'. Tell him you would like to please him with a bj, but need his total word that he will not force you down on him or touch you unless you are totally comfortable. Maybe the first time, just play with some kissing and licking.
Work a little more in each time. don't try to do it all at once. He will understand, if he's a good guy and will love the fact that you are working up to giving him a great bj!
Hi everyone! I am brand new here and like what I have read so far. I have a question and am wanting some advice please. How does a person get over their, not really a fear but something like it, of giving a bj. I was in a bad relationship once and was forced to give them by him. I would like to please my current boyfriend with a blowjob, but I am not sure how to get over my bad past any advice I know it sounds weird but all of this is true and i would like to be able to please my bf with a bj that he wants but I can't because of my past.
How do guys feel about a woman sucking on it by pressing it to the roof of her mouth and at the same time moving the tongue up and down the back of the shaft? Try it and let me know?
thats a damn shame. I think its pretty rude to get someone going and then not finish what you started. Even if it takes a while, you can always take a break and then go back...
And she should stop sucking and start actually sucking. aha.
[QUOTE=Quote (demonbuttercup @ Aug. 16 2004,11:01)]you do suck tho. imagine how it is when you eat a popsicle. how you are kind of sucking on it and pushing it into your mouth.[/QUOTE]
i don't know why, but when my ex decided to start trying to give blow jobs she wouldn't suck. She did a lot with the tongue, but never sucked. I told her to suck on it like she'd suck on a lollipop and she said she was never a fan of those, so later i told her to suck on it like you suck on a straw trying to drink a thick milkshake. she tried for a couple of seconds, but then stopped. she never tried giving a blowjob for more than a couple of minutes anyway, which was very frustrating. she sucked (not in the literal sense) at giving blowjobs.
Hi. I'm new to this. I keep seeing "dp" on the boards. What is "dp"? Thanks.
RedHotQuixote, thanks.. you gave very good pointers, and its good to hear what a guy likes from a guy.
milking is like after he cums you don't just stop sucking or stroking.
after he cums you slowly stroke and gently squeeze his penis to literally "milk" all the semen out. you can suck lightly too. he's sensitive so be gentle. lol.
at least thats my definetion of it.
I've always fantasised about giving a guy a blowjob..but I'm actually quite intimidated...scared of the actual act.
I'm scared of the moment when he actually cums..I'm not sure I want him to cum in my mouth? Is that..selfish? What if its 'rude' to want to stop before he cums..? Any advice?
Hi,
I'm a guy with a particularly stubborn cock and GFs often have to finish me with a BJ after sex as I rarely cum in the pussy. Here's what I find works for me:
I like to be stood and I like the GF to be on her knees when she blows me. It's not about dominance (at least not for me) but quite simply the position in which my cock feels most comfortable and excited being blown. It's a position that also improves the excitement and possibilities of a BJ in plenty of other ways, for example:
1) For the guy the sheer excitement of looking down and watching the gal at work is priceless - the visual counts for plenty - and for both the eye contact both during the BJ and during his orgasm is intensely erotic.
2) I like to know I can hold her head tightly (tugging on her hair if she likes that) and thrust my hips freely as I get excited. A BJ can start so so sensual, but for me to cum it really has to reach the so so physical - and at a maddening pace. Just how much thrusting and tugging goes on depends on the moment and on the lovely lady on her knees, but a hectic rhythm is what lures the best orgasm out of my stubborn cock.
So yes, I need a gal to be very physical - both with her mouth and with her hands. Once I'm excited the subtleties are lost on me - I need to feel a gals mouth working hard and *very* firmly on my cock, but I also need her to be using her hand to be jacking me off into her mouth as she works. This is not about teasing or sensuality at this stage, it's only about getting the cum to burst from my cock. Very physical. Very firm. Lots of eye contact.
Once I start to cum I like the GF to keep jacking my cock into her mouth to milk me. Her rhythm can be slower now (it will have been very fast up to the point that I burst) but some rhythm should be maintained and her lips kept tight to my cock until I'm finished.
As one of the ladies on this thread also mentioned a slow disengagement is the most erotic... After my orgasm I like the GF to so gently suck and lick at my cock and stroke my shaft - but nothing too hard at this point as my cock will be very sensitive after cumming.
I'll admit that the above are very particular to me, and the sheer level of physicality involved is based purely on the fact that my cock will not cum otherwise.
Ciao!
yeah you don't actually blow. i never understood why it was then called a blowjob.
you do suck tho. imagine how it is when you eat a popsicle. how you are kind of sucking on it and pushing it into your mouth.
blowjobs also have a lot to do w/ the tongue. focusing attention on the head w/ it. as well as other areas.
okay...well i really need some help here, not having much experience in this area. i am keen and eager but am worried about looking like i have no idea what i am doing (which i don't).
the more i read, the more confused i am. a blowjob doesn't involve sucking or blowing, to suck like i'm sucking a lolly...everything seems to contradict or doesn't give enough detail. so can someone please explain stuff in detail for a novice like me (or direct me to somewhere).
thanks!
hey i just read one really good oral article by someone from anohter site.lol
the website is thesexden.com i found it on the first page and tried what i read with my b/f and he really liked it so i think its prolly not a bad article. i liked it lol
Some of my ideas:
Whatever dick won't fit entirely in your mouth, stroke it with one hand so he feels fully enveloped. Use the other hand to massage his balls at the same time.
Take his dick as far into the back of your mouth or throat as you can and swallow several times.
Swirl the tongue around the head of his dick on the upward suck while it's in your mouth.
Move your head in circles while his dick is in your mouth. The back of your throat will massage his dick and feel very good to him.
Look him in the eye while you suck him.
Moan while you suck him.
Swallow him.
After he cums, hold his dick in your mouth for a minute or so. Then give him one last gentle suck as you take it out.
Keep your teeth covered at all times so you don't hurt the poor man.
Ok, Ive never heard of the term "milking" before. What the heck is that. and hows it done. *remembers to tell girlfriend when someone responds*
I read the majority of these posts and skimmed the rest, so I suppose that I may have missed this, but girls what posistion do you prefer to give oral (is that clear)? ie, on your knees? between his legs while he is on his back ? Some other way?
Guys ... How is it best recieved?
Thanks
El
Deepthroatin' rulz them all...:)
Id have to say i like it best while im staind ing and shes on her knees, and teases a lot but finishes the job. Deep throating is the best though.
You know, I think every guy is sooooo different. Guitarman is right - ask what blows his mind! Watch him - and listen. And your mouth and tongue shouldn't be doing all the work. Use your eyes, your hair, your hands, your language... Plus, consider the blowjob the whole package - from arousing him to his orgasm. Experimentation is half the fun! Enjoy!
Since all men are different, the best way to please a man is to ask him what he likes and then do it. What works with one may be a total waste of time (or a turnoff) for another. Example: kissing or licking nipples. Most women who don't know better think guys will like this because it feels good to them. But for most guys, (including me), it's annoying.
About two years ago, my wife made at least ten years progress giving head in a couple months because she started asking me what I wanted her to do down there. Ladies, don't think you don't need to ask because you are so gifted or experienced. Do what he likes. Then, when he's going down on you, it will be about what you like.
Alright, this is an in depth explanation of my favorite technique.
. Then, after I swirl my tongue around the head a bit more, i slowly take just the tip of the head into my mouth and kinda tilt and move my head back and forth with just the tip inside. I do this for a little while, then suddenly I let half of him slip inside my mouth. This sudden, unexpected movement of just the head being taken in to nearly half of him always gets me a moan from him. then i slowly slide from that point up up and down and gradually work my way all the way down until i'm taking him all in (still slowly) all the while producing more saliva. When I feel him getting closer, thats where my action comes in. He loves it when i start touching myself simultaneously and moaning while I increase my speed on his solid hard dick. I look up and give him a seductive look while I slide my firm hand all the way down his wet cock several times. AFter a little more sucking and thrusting up and down, and when he's very close to exploding I set in my final move- right when he's about to cum I place my two hands about midway on his penis close together and pull them each apart in opposite directions very quickly and firmly. This gives him the feeling of intense pleasure all around his penis at the same time, and its a great way to finish up. I usually only have time to do this for a second before he blows. The first time I tried this move on him i got the biggest reaction i've ever had from him. I usually decrease my pace a little once when he's cumming in my mouth but i don't stop altogether until he has finished cumming.
I don't do alot of teasing before hand, because i found that my guy does not especially like to be teased.
But I still tease in other ways... first I do light kisses all the way up and down his shaft, gently cradeling his balls in my hand. I kiss my way up to the head and gently flick my tongue on the most sensitive part and swirl around the tip of the head and let my saliva drip over to create more moisture. I continue lightly kissing up and down the shaft and licking up and down like an ice cream cone, yum
Thats my usual routine i use aside from a few more little moves and tricks but i'm very interested to learn more.
Hey forgot to mention a great deep throat technique, if you really wanna try it and feel very trusting of your partner... Lie on your bed, on your back, with your head hanging over the edge of the bed. This creates a straight line from mouth to throat. Have him guide the tip of his cock into your mouth. Put your hands on his hips and guide him in. you'll have to master breathing and thrusting, cuz when it's in your throat you won't be able to breathe. Do not let him thrust until you can get a rhythm down where you can breathe! He would probably be just as happy with you guiding his hips anyway. lol. Just something to try.
This is also a great position for tittie f***ing. except in that position he'll kind of straddle yoru head. and slide his cock through your tits. In this position you can lick that sweet little spot under his balls... very cool... while he slides it in and out of your tits!
i was told from the beginning that i did them very well.
last month he gave me some advice on how to do them better and what exactly I could do to get him going in a matter of seconds, and now he enjoys them even more.
so in short, to make them better, listen to what he has to say.
i'm a deep throat sucker. that doesn't necessarily mean i do deep throat because that is somewhat hard for me, it means that i suck from within so to speak.
and the tighter your lips can go around it, the better. use your hand at the end if you want to help create a better suction and so also, the part that you can't get your mouth on (because well, lets face it, you just can't fit a normal sized dick all the way in your mouth) is getting some attention and warmth as well.
as for practice, well, i never really thought about it before i started giving blowjobs, but i am a fiend for blowpops and tootsie roll pops and popsicles. and i guess after years and years of living off them all the stuff I did with them paid off. lol.
YOU GO LILLY! IT'S ALL ABOUT PASSION..and clearly u have displayed passion for oral sex in what you wrote!
WELL SAID!
Okay, the girl before me kind of said what i was going to. lol. I have been told I'm "VERY" talented at blow jobs. ha ha.
Obviously all the little teasing beforehand is fun and totally functional, but it's not the nitty gritty of a blow job.
The main thing I think I add is enthusiasm!
1.You gotta love to do it and not have to be begged to do it! 2.You have to use lots of saliva! don't be emberassed when you make all of those messy slurpy noises! He loves it!
3. Once you get him nice and wet and hard, use your hand and bring it right up to your mouth, like and extension of your mouth. A nice firm grim, up and down the shaft with your lips and your tongue keeping very lubed!
4. Some guys do like a little bit of a twist in the middle - that's preference, just a small flick of the wrist (slowly) while you move up the penis, then back the other way when you go down.
5.gently play with balls, of course, or the perineum (however you spell that little spot under the balls) Before I even start a blow job.. I've thoroughly licked and flicked my tongue across it, so it's nice and wet to flick my finger across, gently, like an extra tongue.
6. and of course, if he's into anal, a lubed finger up the bum is gonna send him into orbit.
7. Try moaning or humming during the blowjob as well. stick your finger in your mouth now and hum a tune, cool, huh? lol
8. I also like sometimes alternating between an ice cube in my mouth, to sips of warm tea. or a hot rub flavored lotion. mix it up, baby! he he
The testicles are often neglected
My man loves it when I caress them gently as I suck on his penis, as well as kiss, lick and suck them.
Be careful of having long nails though
Another pointer: use one hand to hold the base of the penis, and the other to move in an up and down motion along with your mouth.
Ok, I was thinking of the "kneeling between his legs" scenerio. Does anyone know if I can just kneel between his legs while he's lying on his back?
[QUOTE=sweetheart05]Ok, I was thinking of the "kneeling between his legs" scenerio. Does anyone know if I can just kneel between his legs while he's lying on his back?[/QUOTE]
As long as he spreads his legs, this should work OK. But you're going to be bending over quite severely, so it could hurt your back after a short time. I think it would be more comfortable for both parties if he was sitting on something (edge of bed, chair) and you were kneeling on the ground.
Also this is a better setup so you can look into his eyes as you do it, which IMO is a *huge* turn-on for men.
BJ's are the most fun for a guy when...
1) He is standing, she is kneeling.This gives him a sense of being dominant over her. (2) She often looks up at his face when performing. (3) She pays attention to the testicles as well as the penis. (4) She goes slow. A standing BJ should take about 10 minutes. Any longer and he could get tired of standing. (5) Use lots of saliva. Be messy. (6) Tease it. (7) Talk sexy.
(8) She asks for him to cum. (9) She willingly accepts whatever location he wishes to deposit his seed. (10) It he cums on her skin, she plays with it. If he cums in her mouth, she holds it there until he has a chance to see it, then she swallows.
It's not rocket science...just rocket fun.
I'm the first girl who ever gave my guy head who used her tounge. Honestly I don't see how all the others didn't but he said they just put it in their mouth and did nothing.....*quirks brow*
Anyway, I'm much like Branye on this. I'll start by kissing the head and running my tongue up and down the shaft. Then I'll move down the penius half way and just start flickering my tongue back and forth on this one spot that I know that drives him crazy...I've tried to 'tongue flick' the little V thing at the head because someone told me it was the most sensitive part of a guy there but it doesn't do anything for my guy...maybe I'm on the wrong side. After that I may take him in my mouth and play around a bit, then take him completely out and blow softly on it. Aparently the hot breath drives some guys crazy.
I personally have no issue with playing with his balls while doing it. Or even sucking on them.
As for anus action...yeah my guy isn't up for that, at least on his end. lol.
PLEASE HELP!!!IM HAVING A PROBLEM GIVING MY BOYFRIEND A BLOWJOB. Now i dont know if this is common, this is my first boyf iv been sexual with. I'm really new to the whole thing.weve been together for 6 months now and i jus cant giv him a blow job because my jaw hurts!!!!I jus dont get if this is normal coz wen browsing this website i see many problems but not one like mine,,
I jus wanna kno if this is common and wat do you (girls or guys) do about it?
Wat happens is im sucking him with his bellend in my mouth humpin in my mouth basically so its kinda goin in n out and then i can do it for amount of time and then my jaw jus starts to pain, its like the wors epain ever, very aching and stabbing and i jus cant go on which spoils it coz i stop and jus wank him and let my mouth rest but it spoils the whole thing i can never make him cum wiv a blow job
JUS PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!IV got no one to go to coz my friends that i hav havnt gon that far wiv a guy plus id feel uncomfortable, i jus wanan kno if its common.....&wat to do
I have a question about positions when I'm giving a blow job. (I've never given one) While you're doing 69, do you HAVE to sit on his stomach with your back facing him? Can you kind of do a "Fine Dining" position w/ the roles reversed?
Also, is it easy to do it if the guy is sitting straight up, like in a chair or something?
I'm not sure about the 69...have yet to do one of those.
As for the sitting in chair...I'm taking it you're talking about him sitting in a chair while you're only giving him a blowjob which insues you're on your knees. Yeah, the guy can be sitting down and you can go from the side (puts more strain on your neck thou) or you could kneel inbetween his legs.
But having him standing up while doing it is extremely hot.
Okay, so you have told her the sex is horrible and that you haven't had an orgasm with her in six months?
Hmmm, don't know how she would not just perk right up and start being a regular porn star in bed....
Okay, now I'll be serious instead of sarcastic. She was a virgin. Sex is still new to her. You're the first man to ever really see her naked and that she has done all of this with. It can be pretty freaking intimidating! ESPECIALLY if you are going on about how much sex sucks with her! Noone is just born knowing how to be a master in bed. You are gonig to have to change your approach.
Learn how to please her! How many orgasms have you given her? Do you know?? Give her pleasure and focus on her. Then SUGGEST little things she can do for you. You will have to ease her into this. Not make her feel inferior to the all the other women who have been able to please you. She already feels bad enough and is freaked out enough by it. You will need a lot of patience.
Loving her very much is a good start, but maybe some others on here can give you some slow approahces for a shy beginner to learn the ropes.
Once she gets that first really great orgasm, she should be ready for more and want to try new things.
[QUOTE=Quote (finewine @ Feb. 07 2005,14:06)]How do guys feel about a woman sucking on it by pressing it to the roof of her mouth and at the same time moving the tongue up and down the back of the shaft? Try it and let me know?[/QUOTE]
My ex-wife used to hold it in her mouth when I came and push it to the top of her mouth and slowly move her tongue side to side till I came again and again
Hmmmmmm...well, I do this thing where I make sure my hand is nice and lubed up and I almost twirl it up and down the shaft and the head. This gets my guy so hot and he said no one has ever done it before. I also use my hand on the lower part of the shaft while twirling my tongue and lips around the upper shaft and head. He loves it and I love getting such a great response from him!!!
to help with speed you can suck on the way in and release on the way out.
> A standing BJ should take about 10 minutes. Any longer and he could get tired of standing.
That is if he can manage to remain standing that long! What with all the stimulation I'd be surprised if he didn't crumple to his knees within moments of becoming very highly aroused.
> (5) Use lots of saliva
Saliva is the defacto standard lube; however, there are disadvantages with it, namely that it is not the slipperiest substance available, and two, it dries quickly and has to be reapplied often.
> i jus cant giv him a blow job because my jaw hurts!
The easiest way to prevent a sore jaw is not to hold your mouth widely ajar or to bear down on his penis.
If you have a hotdog or a small diameter cuccumber, or a carrot stick, in the refrigerator, take one out and practice with it. You only need to open wide enough to permit his penis to slip between your lips. Your lips should wrap over your teeth so as not to scrape his skin. Scraping does not hurt, although it is very annoying and distracting.
An alternative to the above is to pucker your lips and let his penis slip in between them. Again, your mouth need only be slightly ajar. Another important thing to do is to just relax and not tense up your jaw muscles.
Once mastering the deep throught thingy (Taking it all in) on your way out make sure that your tongue extendsand your lips are tight. Keep your teeth out of the way. You have to make your mouth act like a vagina. Better yet. Make your mouth act like his own hands. Use your hand at the shaft pulling uop slightly as your lips go down.
So, People I need some help.
I am relatively new to this whole oral sex thing, I have recieved it a couple times, but have not yet let my BF have the pleasure.. I WANT to, but I am nervous that I will find it disgusting, or wont know what to do.. I don't want it to be akward.. And I am not sure if I want to "finish" him off.. I dunno If I wanna do that the FIRST time, so how should I end it?? How long should I go? I don't wanna tease him too much, but I also don't think I wanna take him all the way.. please give me tips and ideas, anything you have.. THANKS
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