I find this problem quite a downfall. If im seeing a guy and we imply that we want to have sex i will get all excited and actually think about what I could do to please him and make it more enjoyable, atleast for him. But when it comes to it I freeze. If its missionary I just lay there and my mind goes blank and I cant think of anything to do to please im at all. If its any other position he does all the work and I just dont know what im doing.
It happens as well when i give oral. I just kinda forget what I shud do and (in my mind) it seems boring.
I dont know why this is. Before anything happens im totally ready to go for it but when it happens I just sorta freeze up and go blank.
Why is this happening? Ive had one experience when I had no problem performing but everyother time its the same blank mind scenerio. What could be causing this? Am I just not ready to have sex? Is it the guy? Is it just me? What should I do about this? PLEASE HELP!
Maybe you just are not comfortable with him & yourself yet. It's sort of like going out and dancing then standing in the middle of a dance floor. Start reading under "new to sex", "pleasing him" and "sex positions" on this site. Invest the time and read!
> It's sort of like going out and dancing then standing in the middle of a dance floor.
Been there, done that, and now teach others how to get beyond staring at the ceiling while standing there trying to catch their brain up to the music.
In addition to the above recommendations, let me suggest to the two of you that making love is a partnership. As such it is a team effort and a cooperative effort. Work together. Go slow, experiment, explore, and give each other feedback on what is good, what is not as good, what you would enjoy, and then just take it a step at a time, and learn. Instead of thinking about this as what can I do to him, think what can we do with and for each other. Going slowly gives more time for the play aspect and more time for you to collect your thoughts (and not stare at the ceiling trying to recall this or that.) Also, take your cues for what to do next from each other and what has gone on before. {A little tit for tat, works. Pun, if any intended.)
[quote=dancingdoc2;188768]> It's sort of like going out and dancing then standing in the middle of a dance floor.
Been there, done that, and now teach others how to get beyond staring at the ceiling while standing there trying to catch their brain up to the music.[/quote]
I guess then I'd have to lead you in the Waltz?
Last minute thought...maybe the point is to tell him the truth. You are freezing up, let him take over and guide you???