Within a month or so my girlfriend and I were planning on having sex (im 16 shes 15)... Ive been waiting for this forever but im starting to get kind of nervous. She is a virgin so what should i expect to happen when i "pop her cherry"? And how much pain will she be in? Im a very loving boyfriend and i hate for her to be in pain and if shes in a lot of pain it might make me not want to do it. Another thing is ive been reading about fingering techniques and everything and im looking for the best one to do without actually sticking my fingers inside her (shes not quite ready for that part and dont even know if she will let me get close to the vaginal opening) ive rubbed her once and ive fingered other girls before giving them orgasms but i want to be able to do it without actually inserting my fingers... I felt really insecure when she told me her past boyfriend who was 18 could rub her from outside he jeans and it felt better than when i rubbed her on top of just her panties (although she had a panty liner on with me and not him) but she finally let me actually touch her vagina like 2 days ago and i doubt she will let me do it again for like a week lol... i started rubbing her outer lips and slowly went deeper but i didnt notice that much of a reaction from her although she told me it felt a little bit better than her ex 18 yr old bf lol i couldnt get her clitoris to harden so i couldnt actually find it.. ive kissed most of her erogenous (or w/e) spots and ive actually become really good at finding them but it just tickles her and send tingles down her leg but i dont think she actually knows what kind of tingles they are. any advice whatsoever would be greatly appreciated
Wed, 05/30/2007 - 04:23
#1
Bit of advice?
We've never heard about this before !!..i'm sure Dancin' Doc will have a link for you to read!! Congrat's on being such a stud but not having research as a real skill!!
no need to be a dick about it man i just have a lot of questions and **** that cant be answered by pure research it would actually be nice if a girl replied rather than a guy
I think you should hold of on the sex, if she's not comfortable with you touching her that she's not emotionally ready to do it.
Take your emotion and sex drive out the situation.
Girl and guy. Limited contact. Not keen to explore. Not comfortable with touching. Virgin. Little experience.
Does this sound like a girl that is ready for sex???
It's like playing an violin in front of an audience without lessons.
(tried to use an example you would be familliar with)
Do you see what I mean?
One Stop Shopping
Try here first.
Plus I totally agree w/ emilie.
If she's not even comfortable w/ you touching her vagina...full contact, not over clothes, then she is definitely not ready...which that's totally OK. I wasn't ready till I was like 22 lol.
You have to take baby steps... most couples work from handjobs and fingering up to oral and intercourse.
Does she touch you anywhere?
Also, starting w/ fingering helps get the girl used to having something inserted and also helps w/ slight stretching so that its not AS painful the first time.
Besides, she shouldn't even be bringing up her ex comparing what you are doing to what he did.... nope.
I'd just lay off the idea of sex anytime in the future and make your next goal to be able to first...rub her clit (skin on skin) not thru clothing...then work up to fingering.
She gives me handjobs but not when i want them like tonight lol she said i had to wait until friday and i was just playing with her vagina tonight and i got her legs shivering or some **** but i guess she wasnt actaully in the mood cause no matter what i did i couldnt get her wet which is usually sooo easy
Scratch her - you aren't ready to "pop her cherry."
Give it time, both of you should be comfortable with each other before you do.
Oral sex is good. Do that.
I have read your posts on here and to be upfront, you two are NOT ready for sex. First, you are talking about having unprotected sex (possibly using animal skin condoms), you and her are not up to par on appropriate birth control, to be even thinking about intercourse. I posted to you this am on this but had not read any of you other's at that time. I thought you two were considering becoming parents from your post. Then, I see you are 16, she is 15! You need to stop and get smart quick. Brandye posted back to you about proper birth control protection & you need to read it.
As far as your gf, sorry. She is NOT ready. Not at all. Not even vaguely. She is only appeasing you to make you happy by allowing you to "sort of" touch her. She is giving you a hand job to keep you happy, she's not ready to be even doing this by the actions you are & have been describing.
You need to back off, neither of you are there, let your hormones rest & get your cookies off on your own. I can see you both ending up with serious consequences.
I've been so nervous w/ a guy before I was shaking all over too!
I mean usually if you are nervous but even slightly turned on... you'll get wet, especially if its easy for her to do.
When I first started doing stuff... and it felt like it was progressing more towards sex.. but I wasn't totally sure I was ready... I started to back off, not even doing the things I did before... b/c it's like you assume that if you initiate anything or let it get to a certain point.. it will most likely end up in sex.
So you try not to let things get to far.
I mean everyone is saying you two...esp her...aren't ready.. and there isn't anything wrong w/ that. We all come into it on our own time. Remember.. babysteps!
the only thing is she wants to have sex before she moves at the end of june to kentucky and i live in connecticut and we wont see eachother for 2+ years
So it's doubtful that you guys will stay together after that?? I mean you might want to but realistically?!?
I mean I guess she could... it's just something that happens when the time is right... not something you put a time table on.
She may wish to but clearly is not sexually mature enough, nor ready to. You are 16, she is 15 and believing 2 years apart is a sustainable relationship is setting you both up for failure. Enjoy the time together now, and part as friends see how you feel in 2 years, meanwhile see other people. After the two years pass, see if you still remember each other's names.
Also, Abitnew:
I notice on your myspace site you list yourself as being 18, you look 18, yet you said you are 16, I hope your not pushing a 15 y/o. BTW, age of consent in CT is 16...jail bait for you.
She is not ready, don't push her, 15 is a bit young and she is showing obvious signs of not being ready, have you ever fooled around both totaly naked ? I don't think so speaks she don't entirely trust you. due to the upcoming separation yes that is what it will be as it is very unlikely that at 15 and 16 (if it is true the link to your myspace is no longer on your profile) that you will be a good match in 2 years time. let her go be friends be comfortable together but come to realize that now is way too early for her to have sex and you will have to part.
my myspace is 2 years ahead because i made it when i was 14 so i set it to 16 at the time and just dont feel like setting it back... why would i lie to complete strangers about my age? anyway she wants to stay together after she moves and she kinda wants to marry me and her parents said they wouldnt mind me marrying her lol... idk she wont even give me a handjob anymore and she always says she not in the mood to fool around now... its kind of frustrating me but im afraid if i break up with her she will hurt herself and i do love her but our relationship is kind of getting boring. She says she hates the fact that im comfortable with everything and she is soo shy.. and no we havent done anything full naked since she hates her body sooo much and she wont look at my dick at all.. its soooo difficult im about to just date a whorish girl who is comfortable with a LOT more... i was rubbing her vag the other day and i was doing it like she liked it (down 1 layer at a time) i got to her underwear and she pulled my hand out... she said she wanted me to go harder but then said she didnt want me to do it anymore and i got kinda pissed at her and told her to tell me when to go harder so i can be better at it and she just wont give me any real feedback
I think she sounds as though she doesn't know what she wants. And at 15, that's only to be expected. All I'd say, is don't rush into it, yeah it could happen, but don't push for it. It does seem as though it would be frustrating for you to go through what she's doing, but you need to either put up with it, or end it with her. You can't push her, that's for sure... But if you can't handle it, don't try. Try telling her how you feel- maybe she doesn't realise what she is doing. Explain to her that the way she is responding is making you reconsider where the relationship is going, and that you /do/ want it to work, but need more feedback. Good luck
As I said earlier she is not ready for sex. Regardless, looking at the friction going on, sorry you two are not going to end up married...unrealistic. Find a woman who's looking for what you are, not a girl.
yea thats one prob i have i always seem to go out with emotionally immature girls and i cant find any that are emotionally mature but not sluts
[quote=A_bit_new;181120]yea thats one prob i have i always seem to go out with emotionally immature girls and i cant find any that are emotionally mature but not sluts[/quote]
Look for a woman 2 years older then you are.
Uhhh "slut" is such a HARSH word! I prefer to use very sexually experienced lady with relaxed social morales...;)
well slut is not a very absolute term peoples views vary widely
I suspect the reason he does not go after experiencd women is because he knows he cannot compete hence his use of the teem "slut" like it was a bad thing.
you hit the nail on the head but we seem to have scared him away anyhow