Advice - No Condom

[troll]

I posted this in the advice sticky, but I guess it was more for what one you should use, so I am posting it as a new thread in hope to get some responses.

I'm on the pill and I am regular with it, but it gives me unusual periods. My doctor said it was normal since I recently switched pills and it is still settling. [I am in my third month.] My boyfriend and I both want to stop using condoms, but I'm worried that if I did get pregnant, I might not know right away. Knowing the failure rate of birth control, I feel comfortable to do it, but I worry a lot, so I wanted an opinion from someone else.

Also, I know pulling out before ejaculation isn't a very effective method on its own, but I was going to ask him to do that anyway. Would it make any difference if he did since I am on birth control already?

Any advice would be helpful, thanks.

[mattc]

I just posted this in another thread but my wife has been reading a book called "Taking charge of your fertility". She is a firm believer this should be required reading for women. You're going to be stuck using condoms a bit during the month if you want to go off the pill but there is a lot of good information in the book.

[Brandye]

This has been responded to. Read that response. Matt's advice here is not complete.

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by troll

I'm on the pill and I am regular with it, but it gives me unusual periods. My doctor said it was normal since I recently switched pills and it is still settling. [I am in my third month.] My boyfriend and I both want to stop using condoms, but I'm worried that if I did get pregnant, I might not know right away.

Why do the two of you not want to use a condom in addition?**

Knowing the failure rate of birth control, I feel comfortable to do it, but I worry a lot, so I wanted an opinion from someone else.

I want to urge you to double check your facts. There is an article listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen on failure rates for various combinations of contraceptives. Why?

It is generally agreed that the younger a couple is the higher their chance of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. Teens as a group have a higher failure rate than couples in their twenties. There are various reasons for this, namely forgetfulness, using only one form of contraception, irregular periods, as examples. Contraceptives are designed to protect the user. It is fool hearty to rely upon the other person's method alone. On this Board, we regularly recommend that both individuals protect themselves--plus, use a third back up form such as a spermicide.

Also, I know pulling out before ejaculation isn't a very effective method on its own, but I was going to ask him to do that anyway. Would it make any difference if he did since I am on birth control already?

Anything is better than nothing, meaning if he pulls out the chances are some percentage points better; yet I have to ask, why? More often than not there is sperm in the precum; more often than not a guy will feel less than fulfilled ejaculating outside after "pumping himself up" inside.

Any advice would be helpful, thanks.

** Please answer the opening question.
If the two of you are not yet prepared to become parents, and if you are going to engage in adult activities you have to be adult in your actions and responsibilities. Never try to fool Mother Nature. More often than not she will win and you will become pregnant. My final thought on the matter is this:

If you believe in the purpose and use of contraceptives, then they must be used all the time. If you make exceptions then why bother using them at all?

[troll]

To Brandye - I didn't see your post and after reading the post before it, I thought it was just mentioning IUD as an option, which my doctor doesn't feel comfortable doing. We are in a monogamous relationship and I would like to thank you for the advice.

Doc - My boyfriend mainly wants to try it and I don't really mind either way, it's more of me trying not to just be another girl saying, "Well, HE wants to, so I have to," he does want to, but I'm comfortable with it.
I have read that and I have also researched my birth control and different problems other women have had with it.
As for the pulling out, I mentioned it and he said he was going to either way to avoid not only mess, but for the smallest bit of help.
To the final question, I believe in using them, however I also know that there is a small chance of getting pregnant. My sisters used bcp at my age with a worse rate of taking it on time everyday and had unprotected sex without pulling out and they never even had a scare. I understand everyone is different, however, I know that the failure rate doesn't change THAT much person to person. I don't believe it's an exception, either. We are still being safe and that's more than I could say about many people I know.

[mattc]

I didn't claim to have the proper answer, but I believe the book I referenced does.