Please help a paranoid man... :)

[deenin]

I was in a relationship for 9 years with someone and #1. She was on anti depressants and #2. Was on the pill. We did not want to have kids. Out of being scared of possible pregnancy not knowing if taking those two pills might decrease effectiveness I used a condom on top of that. It was the only almost sure fire way nothing would happen.

Unfortunately that relationship failed in a resulted divorce. I took a year off from dating and am now with someone I truly feel connected with. She's been on Yasmin for years and have never had any problems using it and has always been effective. She does not take anti depressants and things are fine for her. However, my paranoia seems to still exist and not want something horrible to happen. My girlfriend takes her Yasmin pill every day on the dot at the same time, religiously so to speak. She follows her program perfectly. I would like to step away from using the condoms because they are a hinderance and just tired of not being able to really feel the connection not using a condom. Do I really have much to worry about using just the pill? Seeing as perfect regular use has over 99.7% effectiveness, should I worry? Also we are clean of diseases. I always consult with friends. They have told me they have been on the pill for years and have had no scares.

Thanks in advance for any responses

- A responsible adult

[dancingdoc2]

> Out of being scared of possible pregnancy not knowing if taking those two pills might decrease effectiveness I used a condom on top of that. It was the only almost sure fire way nothing would happen.

> always consult with friends. They have told me they have been on the pill for years and have had no scares.

Friends are good, although, I am puzzled why one or the other of you never consulted with a physician during those nine years.

No contraceptive is perfect. Brandye has mentioned more than once about the failure rates. You can go back through her posts not very far and find the statistics. If you want to double up yet not use a condom then ask your new partner to use foam in addition.

[sera300]

I always look at it as someone has to be the small percent who birth control fails for, if you are that nervous about it, as doc said use another method, I prefer VCF's instead of the foams.

[demonbuttercup]

Birth Control Failure Rates

[ChiliPepper]

If the paranoia is so extreme its caused a failed relationship and prevents you from enjoying yourself.... pull out when its time.

Ive never seen anyone quite so worried over this.

[sera300]

If the root of the problem is you don't want children perhaps consider a vasectomy.

[deenin]

Chili - Actually she made me paranoid about this stuff earlier on. And the failed relationship wasn't because of that, it was because she cheated on me and later revealing on a couple occasions stating she didn't think she was "in love" with me... I offered we went to counseling, she said no, deeply regretted it the day the divorce was final and I told her I couldn't go back after all the hurtful things. During that darker time a few years into the relationship she was suicidal, hospitalized herself and was admitted to a psychitric unit for a while. So it wasn't paranoia of pregnancy that tore our relationship apart, it was her actions for which she had no thought into the consequences of what came later.

I looked at those numbers that were thrown out there as far as pregnancy rates.. where did you get those statistics? I think I just need to talk to a real doctor about this. And it's not that I don't want to have children, it's just I don't want to have them right now.

[sera300]

Those stats were written by a "real" doctor,. Also, all you have to do in a google search of the birth control method, check the manufacturers, and read failure rates...I would tend to say if you go to your GP and ask this question about failure rates, it's going to take them awhile to gather the same info which is sitting right here. I know a lot of GP's and the majority can not rattle off these stats, the only ones which tend to be proficient are gyn doctors.

[Brandye]

Those stats, posted by me, reflect real experience, not theoretical rates. Very few women on hormonal birth control and in a stable, safe relationship use any other method.

I am not a gyn but am the only woman in my area who is a doctor. I end up with most of the young women with sex issues - including contraception.