i cant cum!

[Traaidmark]

I wonder if any of you folks know what's happening. I have had three sexual partners in like ever. with not ONE of them did i ever cum. uhm, should i be getting worried. they love it of course in the beginning cuz i can just go on for hours, but after a while they get like all upset cuz they think they not doing it for me.

I do cum when i masturbate though... odd no?

thanks folks

[dancingdoc2]

> odd no?

No, in fact it is so common that I address this matter almost weekly, and very often daily.

The problem is that soon after we learn to masturbate we settle into a routine of using a certain type of stroking, rhythm, and pressures and come to rely upon this technique to bring us to an orgasm. If we are off the mark just a little either we will not have an orgasm or it will be less than expected.

The solution I recommend is to show her how you masturbate and then to take her hand in yours and guide her movements several times until she learns to mimic your technique.

If you are limiting your activities to foreplay and are not having intercourse then I will go along with what you say about women liking your staying power; however, as soon as you begin having intercourse, if this trend continues, the usual result is that they will become bored, tired, and sore if this goes on more than ten minutes or so.

The chances of that happening tho are small because most young guys suffer from a condition known as Premature Ejaculation and if this plagues you sometime in the future, you will find plenty of discussion on that, here, also. The fix is easy.

[Traaidmark]

i figured it must be something like that.

We are having intercourse. and that is even worse. like nothing happens for me. this is the same between three partners i have had, no cuming.

it gets bad cuz every single one of them complains that they dont do it for me, and they really do, honestly... ugh. lol.

thanks tho, will do it for the foreplay thing.

[Brandye]

I am assuming you are female. You never give that important bit of information. Well, maybe not. What the hell are you?

[dancingdoc2]

I place my bet on the blue, rather than the pink.

Ok, let's say you are a guy, then answer this, also: Are when having intercourse are you humping away "endlessly", trying to build up your arousal to the point of an orgasm?

If so, then you have the proverbial cart before the horse and in all likihood, this is also why you are having a difficult time climaxing when making out. The whole point of making out is to get each of, male and female, to the brink of an orgasm. Stroking during intercourse simply maintains this already established high state of arousal. Thrusting triggers the orgasm. See the commonality? Ya gotta show her how to build your arousal during foreplay even further than what has been established from all the caressing that has preceeded this stage. Then, she has to bring you along by hand and/or mouth to the brink of an orgasm, stopping just short of the point in which you will loose control. During the pause you will slide back down your arousal curve just a bit so you can continue to maintain control while getting into position. If all you want is foreplay then she has two choices; first, to either pause as mentioned and then to reestablish your peak one or two times to tease you and to further build excitement and anticipation; or, two, not pause and just go for it.

[vagabondprince]

I have a very similar problem, having trouble orgasming, often lasting thirty+ minutes before i find the right spot or motion that helps me ejaculate, if i ever hit that spot. i'd say 75% of the time I don't actually orgasm. in that case with my current girlfriend i just pretend it happened and hope she doesn't notice the reservoir tip of the condom is still empty.

But for quite a while I wasn't orgasming at all. I figured out that not masturbating at all for a week or two before sex would help increase my chance, but i still wasn't orgasming most of the time. Finally, with my current girlfriend I figured out that the physical aspect was only half of the factor. What I had to do was fantasize the same things I did when I orgasmed from masturbating. After I started doing this I was able to orgasm maybe twice as often as I had before, and I could orgasm closer to when I wanted to.

[Luvs2plzU]

wanna trade dilemma's????....i'm not sayin' ...I'm just sayin'....

[Traaidmark]

lol Luvs2plzU! yeah sure mate. anytime!

yah i'm male, and vagabondprince, i am in that very same boat. I have tried the fantasizing thing, but man it's hard when your having sex... will give that a proper try though eh.

dancingdoc2, that makes so much sense hey. will give all of this a try! man you guys are really awesome!! i figured sex was just like something you did, didnt think it went so deep