Got STD...is he cheating???

[rebos]

Hello everyone....I need some information and some light shed on the transmission and duration of chlamydia to know if my husband cheated on me or not.....here goes...

My husband and I met in October and immediately became sexually active and monogomous.....In late November, I got a vaginal infection from a tear on my cervix (rough sex) and had a complete pap smear done to emlinate any std's....I had NO std's, just an infection from the tear and was put on antibiotics and was healed within a week.

In June of the following year I became pregnant and had a misscarriage at 4 weeks.....After the misscarriage I had a complete vaginal exam with pap smear again and it came back that I had chlamydia....my husband was tested and he had it too....We were both treated and cured, however, I was left with severe doubt and pressing questions....Here is my unanswered question....

Could it have been possible for my husband to have chlamydia when I met him in October and when I had my exam in late November it not show up? I have heard that chlamydia is highly contagious and I was just wondering if he could have had it before we met and I just didn't catch it until after my pap smear in November or did he cheat?

Please help me....I need to know so that I can take the next step in my life....Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks so much.....A scared wife

[Brandye]

Are you certain that you were checked for chlamydia when the pap smear was done? It would necessarily be automatic if STD was not expected at that time.

There is no definitive answer to your question. Yours would be an abnormally long incubation time but women, because of how we are built, can have bacterial STDs quite a while before symptoms appear.

I will not hazard a guess.

[rebos]

Thanks for the reply Brandye....to answer your question....In November I was tested for chlamydia and other STD's at the time of my pap due to the fact that I was not aware of the tear and had severe vaginal pain and a smelly discharge so they ruled out STD's and then during my exam found the vaginal tear which was treated for infection....All my tests came back negative for any STD's and then when I went back in for my exam after my miscarriage, which was June of the following year, I tested positive for chlamydia....my husband was tested and he was positive as well and we were both treated with proper meds and cured.....

Which lead to my concern and question....from what I have read, chlamydia is highly contagious and people can have it and not know because they have no symptoms....however I WAS tested for it and it was negative then 8 months later I test positive for it....

My question....We had sex many many many times on a daily basis from the time we met in October until late November when I had my tear and pap....Is it possible that my husband had it before we met and I just didn't catch it during that 2 month period? If he did have it before we met, wouldn't a tear make me more apt to get Chlamydia?

I think he cheated during sometime between November and June because that is the only way I could see that I would be neg. in November and then positive in June the following year....

What are your thoughts? Am I overreacting? Thanks for your time and responses!! I need some serious insight....

[Jaysey]

Was he tested for STDs before you became sexually active with him? Chlamydia often has no symptoms. He may have had it without being aware. Do you have any other reason to suspect him of cheating?

[rebos]

No he was never tested before but my concern is this....If he did have it before we met and we were highly sexually active for the first two months and then I was tested and came up negative....is that possible.....I have read that chlamydia is highly contagious.....how could we be so sexually active for 2 months and me not catch it???

As for your other question, I don't have anything concrete to accuse him of cheating other than the fact that he is a highly sexual man and I always catch him checking out other women (more so than the casual glance) and his father is a cheater....Additionally, his attitude towards me was very rude and bitter during this time.....

Thanks for the help....hope this sheds some light and I can get some answers...your input is greatly appreciated!!

[demonbuttercup]

Yea I was going to say... what was his response when you came home from the DR and said... I have an STD!
did he automatically start defending himself? or blame you?
or just shrug it off... like eh... oh well... whatcha gonna do.. thats life!

[rebos]

He first asked "what's that" and I told him it was an STD and then he said "where'd you get it" and I told him "that's what I'm wondering"....He looked at me with frustration and said "Not from me" we then had him checked the next day and he had it....They explained to him that it was highly contagious and only transmitted by exchanging genital fluids....We left and he said "so how did this happen" I told him that somebody cheated and it wasn't me....He immediately got defensive and said "how do you know I didn't get it from you" I then snapped back with "If you will remember dear....I was checked 7 months ago when I had that tear and I was negative" I popped back with "well maybe I had it before I met you and you just now caught it"

er go.....my questions is the latter of what he said possible? I mean the first two months of active sex and I tested negative....then some 7-8 months later I'm positive....Is it possible he had it all along or wouldn't it have shown up on me in November????

Thanks for the help!

(He is still defensive about the subject) That's why I'm here.....I have to know

[Jaysey]

The incubation period for chlamydia (the time between exposure and when symptoms begin) can range from 7 to 21 days, but many women and men harbor infections that may never show symptoms or only show after months or years. I assume that means that a test would be able to detect the disease wiothin the same time period. But I'm no expert and don't know for sure.
Can you ask your doctor to verify?

[Brandye]

You got chlamydia from someone with whom you had sex. and I repeat that that would be a very long incubation for the disease if you contracted it from him earlier. I still take no definitive stand. I would be gone.

[rebos]

All sources point to him cheating then.....

Thanks to all for your help.....I just needed to prepare myself and have my information correct before I confronted him!

Thank you again....