Birth Control Questions

[Pandab34R]

I have a few questions about birth control and the pill. Me and my girlfriend are contemplating having intercourse because now we have been together two years almost and feel like we both would be just fine with this happening and are eager to do so. We are both young(under 18) and neither have had sex before. My question is with the pill. She has been on it since I have known her, simply for extremely painful periods. She is also prescribed vicodin to help cope with the pain(which she doesn't take often at all). I am wondering about the effectiveness of her pill as a form of birth control. Neither of us want to take any chances in intercourse of having unwanted pregnancy. She is adimant on using a condom, which I dont really mind... But I am wondering since she is on the pill, would it be necessary if we used a spermicidal foam? I would resent using a condom for my first time. I want it to be a great experience and I am not sure how a condom would feel for me( or her for that matter). Can anyone help me out witht he pro's and con's for our situation and any information about using the condom. What are the chances of her getting pregnant if she is on the pill if used properly with a foam.

I also am a recovering cancer patient and have my sperm banked because of the fact that the chemotherapy can cause infertility. I am not sure if this means that my semen is potentially harmful in anyway because of the chemicals that were in my body(Last chemo infusion was in January of 06). On this note... I have noticed after her preforming oral sex she gets upset to her stomach afterwards. Does anyone know of any cases where some drugs are still residing in parts of ones body and causing nausea and stomach pain to the partner? Should I be worried about this?

Thank you. Any help would be appreciated.

[Brandye]

First, your semen is perfectly safe from a chemical standoint. The chemo will not affect her in any way. The nausea has nothing to do with the chemo. Some of us just get gaggy and nauseous from doing blowjobs. Why is she on such a powerful, and addictive, pain killer? "The pain" is not very informative.

In Chick Chat you will find a thread on "Which Birth Control For Me." Read it; it is written for women but all the facts are there. Assuming that she takes the pill exactly as prescribed, she is well protected. Adding a condom increases her protection even more. Same would be true of spermicidal foam.

Mostly, however, you need an attitude adjustment. Every woman has been through the manipulation to not use a condom. You are simply starting sooner than most men. If she says "condom," then use a condom. It is the female body that gets pregnant and it is she who will awaken the next morning wondering if she is pregnant. And she will. Every woman I know had this reaction after her first sexual experience. Do not be a jerk before you have a chance to be a good guy.

Lastly, perhaps you should simply continue the various techniques you have been using for a while longer until you each has a chance to mature a bit more.

[Pandab34R]

Thank you for your insight. Im glad I am not like screwing with her system with my semen and all that And the vicodin is because she has the key word here is SEVERE pain during menstruation. So the pill aided with that as needed is what her doc perscribed. Its only a 5 so its not like its some huge pain killer like straight codine or an effing shot of diloted. But as I said, she does not use them often, partly because its not as bad anymore and mostly because she is a responsible young woman who knows of the addictive qualities of such prescription drugs.

The attitude adjustment you speak of is not needed. I would in no way force her to not use a condom or make her feel guilty about using one. I am simply just trying to get the facts straight and do my homewok. But now that you bring the "morning after" scene up to me I can totally sympathize with that, knowing that I would probably have the same fear as her. I love this girl to death and plan on being with her for as long as our relationship is still fruitful and our love is still there(which after 8 months of being long distance after my mom got another job 2 1/2 hours away it is still there and stronger than ever)<--holy crap confusing english maybe? I would never do anything to cause emotions like this to her and I am just wanting to please her. Believe it or not, she was the one convincing ME it was alright to have sex soon. So before you get this perconcieved notion that I am some big jerk that just wants full on pleasure for a night of fun, just consider that there is more than whats on the surface. I know that at my age this **** is serious as a heart attack, and your probably just doing your best to make me realize that, and I thank you for it, but I just dont want to look like the typical emotionless and oblivious guy who doesn't give a **** - because thats contrary to the truth.

And yes, whatever "mature" might mean...

Thank you again for your insight, it is very much appreciated.

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by Pandab34R

She is adimant on using a condom, which I dont really mind... But I am wondering since she is on the pill, would it be necessary if we used a spermicidal foam? I would resent using a condom for my first time. I want it to be a great experience and I am not sure how a condom would feel for me( or her for that matter). .

I can see your being responsible and learning the facts but this statement does come across w/ attitude and I can totally see how Brandye saw that.
Saying I would "resent" using a condom?
Thats like saying you would hold it against her b/c she made your first time not as good as it could have been b/c she made your wear a condom.
That might not be what you are trying to say.... but it does comes across that way.

[Pandab34R]

Originally Posted by demonbuttercup

I can see your being responsible and learning the facts but this statement does come across w/ attitude and I can totally see how Brandye saw that.
Saying I would "resent" using a condom?
Thats like saying you would hold it against her b/c she made your first time not as good as it could have been b/c she made your wear a condom.
That might not be what you are trying to say.... but it does comes across that way.

No, I dont meant to have an attitude at all. All I was saying is that if there was another form of contraceptive(or combinations of them) that would be just as effective as a condom, I would like to know about them and perhaps present them to her as an alternative. Thats all I was saying. No attitude about it, just curiousity. But there is no way i would hold that against her. If it wasn't good, I would be mad at myself for not holding out until we were in a situation where we didnt have to use one.... that would not be her fault.

[Brandye]

OK, I accept that and respect your position. Perhaps you still learned something with a female's perspective.

Now, to the vicodin. Something is not straight here. Vicodin, and similar, are not very effective for menstrual cramps. I cannot imagine a doctor prescribing such pain killers for dysmennorhea and if she has been on "the pill" from such a young age, that is almost certainly for her difficult periods.

We European doctors tend to Under-prescribe by US standards or, to reverse it, we feel that US doctors over prescribe. That, however, does not explain my response to her doctor's use of vicodin. Either s/he is not up on appropriate drugs or the vicodin has been prescribed for other reasons - which may include getting her mother off the doctor's back or some such. It just does not ring true but that is a wild drug to use to placate a patient or a patient's mother. Sugar pills would accomplish that. And, yes, I do use them sometimes.

[Pandab34R]

Yeah. I guess if its not a drug that is effective in dampening the cramps it wouldnt make sense to use it. I guess her doc might be stupid or there is something else I am unaware of... Although pleasing her mom is a likely thing as well, as it sounds like something her mom wouldn't want to deal with(her daughter while she's on her period) and likewise the doc probably dosn't wanna deal with her mom. Thats interesting though. Im glad that the US docs overprescribe... I would rather have some ppl getting hooked and the people that really need it getting it than the other way around. Cause I find it very hard to remember and/or sympathise with pain - your own or others.

[Brandye]

Yes, but ........

The crisis with antibacterials has been caused by overprescription (for instance giving for flu which is viral and not bacterial) or people stopping their drugs when they feel better but are not yet cured or overuse of anti-bacterial soap. All these things lead to bacteria that develop resistance to known drugs. There are now diseases that were easily curable a few years ago that require the strongest (and most dangerous) stuff we have. Tuberculosis is one such example.

As for pain, the new approach on both sides of the Atlantic is to prevent pain rather treat it. So, we agree. But vicodin is known to do nothing for menstual cramps and is one of the most addictive drugs out there. Those should be given in controlled doses not "take it when you need it." In the US, athletic trainers sometimes keep it in stock; here, the doc hands it to you when it is needed.

I have a suspicion there is something you do not know here.

[demonbuttercup]

Wouldn't it make more sense to take a medicine that is a muscle relaxer as opposed to a pain medication?
I know either way, they can both be addictive.

[Brandye]

You got it, demon and did not have to waste six years in school!!!!