Very tight vagina and other things!

[stek1961]

My gf and I have been together now for a year or so but it's only really the last few months we've started to get intimate.

I'm older, more sexually experienced (few partners tho), she younger, one other previous lover, not very experienced she admits.

The problems we have are it takes absolutley ages for her to get aroused ie wet and open. she feels aroused but no physical signs until after much kissing and stimulation from me. Obviously I don't mind becuase I love her but it does take a very long time 'to get the juices flowing'. And if there are any interruptions or she loses 'the moment' it's like back to square one - frustrating for both...

When she does get wet and I use my fingers, I find her cervix very small and tight, and no way could I ever attempt to enter her, it would hurt both of us, me because I am a bit senstive around the tip and like a nice easy entry. I feel little bumps around her cerivx, and indeed had a good look. I can see little bits of skin I can best describe as looking like polips or nodules. Could these be parts of her hymen?

She has had full intercourse with her previous partner but she tells me it was always extremely painful on entry but ok when it was in. She then had sex normally and felt no pain . She also tells me she has experienced very few orgasms and none with me. A bit pride-shattering but I'm sure we will get there!

She has seen a doc about it but everything checked out normally. I suspected vaginismus but I'm no doc, she has no history of abuse or feelings that sex is dirty so I don't know.

So we never have penetrative sex and to be honest I don't really care that much because we do everything else and I couldn't be happier for my own sexual release. But it's not just about me and we are both concerned about it. My main concern is for her. What I mean is I don't want to force entry and hurt her at all, even if it's for a means to an end.

She initiates sex regualry, (very reguarly!) so I'm sure she's not frigid or anything.

Hope thats enough info.

Steve

[thetease13]

The hymen is on the outside of her vagina at the entrance.
The cervix however is on the inside..usually around 2 or more inches inside and is not exactly small or tight. So I guess I'm just misreading your post or something when it comes to what you're talking about when it comes to her cervix and hymen.

The cervix is something hard. Like a "barrier" of some sort. You will know when you hit it and it can be extremely painful and bleed when hit. It's not a good thing to be messing around with.

Now, I myself am a small person. I have a narrow canal (yay for genetics...) and a relatively short one at that (although not as short as I had previously thought). I never had problems with being entered, but I always had problems right after that. It was extremely painful for me.
What I found that works is the Astroglide Personal Lubricant (yea, I pimp that a lot on this forum, but hey, if it works, it works). I went from not really being able to get him (or anything) in to being able to go atleast 2 inches in.

I also found that regular missionary style is painful to me. I cannot lay on my back and do it. My butt must be elevated or again, it's painful.

Try taking these things into consideration if or when you're ever gonna do it.

Unfortunately, it will hurt her the first few or more times. It's normal. And unfortunately the only way to really get used to it is to do it more often so the vagina can get used to the stretching. Once it does that it will be less painful.
Everything takes time. Just remember that.

[stek1961]

Sorry about the cervical confusion! I mean what I see when I part her labia. I see the 'entry point' for want of a better word, and it's (obviously!) a circular orifice about 1/2 or 3/4 of an inch in diameter. Around the ring of it are the bumpy nodules I mentioned.

Don't know if it's relevant but she's 5' 9" tall but very slim, 7 stones (98lbs to non-Brits).

We've bought some lubricant but not tried it yet. I should add also I have a major problem with condoms, I can't get them on! I'm not claiming to be Mr Well-Endowed but I struggle to roll them back and even worse, even XXL ones squeeze my penis too much to be comfortable. I end up losing my erection due to the fumbling and the lack of comfort. So we are considering the pill. One thing she does seem rather paranoid about is getting pregnant. She want's children but not just yet. She talks of condoms with spermicide, spermicide this, spermicide that.....

Wonder if this could be part of the problem?

Complicated!

Thanks!

[demonbuttercup]

maybe trying some lube inside the condom will help make it feel better. also, have her help and use it as part of your foreplay.

the little bumps around her entrance could be what's left of her hymen. or maybe they are just the way her vagina and skin is made.
did she have an "active" sex life w/ her previous partner?
i mean if she only had sex a few times it could still be her hymen.

i read up on that vaginismus but it says that it is very rare and allows for no penetration. she's had sex before so we know its possible. if the doc said she's ok then she is. it must be mental, not physical.
maybe since you guys are new at sex together and she is new all together... that it will just take some time for her to relax. be sure to have lots of foreplay to help loosen her up down there. try the lube, and try different positions.

if she is overly obsessive w/ the thoughts of protection against pregnancy then that might be whats wrong. its like she wants to... but she's so paranoid that her body rejects the idea and doesn't allow for sex to happen.

[mspersia82]

About the "polyps", she should get those looked at by her doc. I am like her in a way that it takes a while for me to start getting wet. My body is fickle. Sometimes I'll realize that I'm wet after about a minute after thinking some sexy thought and other times I'll be driving around all day fantasizing about sex non-stop and I'll be almost dry. Even when I'm super turned on sometimes my body has a delayed reaction and does not get wet until my man will start touching me down there or licking me. Once we get going and actually have sex then it gets really wet. I don't know why some women take longer than others but that is the way that it is.