Porn and the internet

[Lacey]

If a man looks at porn every time he turns on the computer (daily or twice daily) and looks at porn as a second screen while doing other things on the computer and then deletes the sites, could he have a sexual disorder?

He is 36, looks at all kinds of porn (expecially the ones named Fetishes, Teen, Panties or Legs). He masterbates if I am asleep and then he deletes where he has been. I know this and am not guessing this.

His reasoning is that he has looked at porn since he was 10 and has not had a relationship with a woman (excluding a three year marriage at 20) utill he was 32.

He says he looks, gets off and then does not think about the women again.

I find this hard to believe and am considering seeking professional help for me to understand this.

Sugestions?

[Rawbob]

Pornography has been, and will be a part of our society. If he's got decades of viewing porn, it's unlikely that he's going to change his viewing habits for you or anyone else.

As long as he is fulfilling your sexual needs, is a decent man, pays his bills, and dosn't show any other signs of "addicitive" behaviour, I think you're over reacting.

He may NOT be proud of the fact that he masturbates to porn (thus erases the sites and history in his browser) or dosne't want to flaunt it in front of you.

Also, understand, there's a HUGE difference between seeing pornographic images online, and cruisnig online for a LIVE person to meet and have sex with.

If you DO go for professional help, go to a professional with a background in sexuality. Anyone can find a shrink who's anti-porn as a way of justifying their own perceptions. So, if you REALLY want to understand. Find a Sex Therapist or a licenced professional who advertises sexual issues as a speciality.

[Verdilak]

If he is like the vast majority of men then he legitimatley doesn't ever think about the womem he's masturbating over. half the time men will go online with no intentions to look at porn but an ad will pop up and off the mind goes thinking of sex. and would you prefer for him to wake you up to satisfy his desires or would u prefer him to masturbate over a few pictures of anonymous girls? the fact that he deletes the sites after viewing them is ussually a signal that he isn't addicted, but you know what they say men are thinking about sex most of the time so it's only natural.

[nodoubt16pb]

Yeah just let him do his thing. He's alright. But someday he has got to think that all these woman do not look like what is on the screen and he has to find someone b4 he starts searching for what's on the screen. No he is not wierd or crazy but i think he is lonely and this is his way of hiding it

[Vixen916]

I disagree with the post that said he's lonely. He probably just likes getting his rocks off with porn. I like looking at porn from time to time, it doesn't mean I'm lonely. I think it just means he's a sexual being and he likes to be satisified, I guess that means he's human I wouldn't worry about a thing.

[sexykitty]

Would you be ok with him looking at porn if it wasn't an addiction?

I think there is a difference between someone who looks at porn and someone who can not go without it. *If it is something that is hurting your relationship and he is not able to stop, there is a problem.

I myself like to look at porn and my husband is ok with this. *He also looks at it occationally and I am ok with that. *We also each have a subscription to Playgirl and Playboy. *We were both upfront with this when we started dating.

It does not take away from our relationship and we would not look at porn and masturbate instead of having sex with eachother. *I think it would bother me if he was masturbating to it as soon as I went to bed. *I would prefer he was in bed with me having sex with me. *I think everyone is curious about porn, but it can be abused and it can be a problem. *

I would also be curious as to why your boyfriend deletes his history... do you know why he does that. *The only reason I would think someone would do that would be because they are trying to hide something... which would make me think it's a problem.

[mike]

I'd guess he's somewhat embaressed/ashamed, since most people don't "approve" of porn, thus why he attempts to hide it. If he *has* to look at it everyday, and can't go without it, it may be a problem. If he just enjoys looking when he wants to get off, then thats just the way he is...

[ThatOtherGuy]

Well, I look at porn and masturbate to it about once a day. Its more of a habit than anything else. I'll do it literally to put myself to sleep... kinda like some people smoke pot. The porn is mostly meaningless. Just a bunch of images and sounds that blend together. I dont give it another thought after I'm done. Its simply helps me to relieve stress. As I am, I'm a laid back and very patient person. If anything masturbation makes me a better person . On the other hand (bad pun?) I probably wouldn't need to spank the monkey if I was having sex regularly.... but I wouldnt know ._.

Sounds like he's being pretty honest with you about this however.

[hanksnow]

Internet porn is different than traditional porn only in its immediacy and ease of access. Both factors make it easier to get hooked, the same as there's a lot of people currently hooked on computer gaming.

Prolonged exposure to porn of any type tends to desensitize a person to sex. It's a mind-numbing thing to get wrapped up in that closes people off from intimacy with others. In that sense, it could be an unhealthy activity that needs attention.

That said, it's a great source of inspiration and helps fuel your fantasy life when you're in a healthy relationship, whether you're stroking it to a cave drawing, a banned book, an adult paperback, a ponro mag, an 8 millimeter film, a video or the internet. The dirtiness of it makes it exciting for the little boy in all of us.

I can't get comfortable enough to masturbate to it but I guess some guys do. My mouse doesn't move fast enough.