Hi everybody,
First of all, I am new here, and I would really appreciate it if anybody could help with the below:
I like to do cyber (I am male). I find it very arousing and almost always end up masturbating after and whilst doing it. But it's not women I have been chatting with, it's men.
I find women attractive, but in no way do I find men attractive. Recently, I have really gotten into the idea of having sex with a man. My ulitmate fantasy is for a guy to pleasure my bum with his tongue and fingers whilst I pleasure his cock. A 69 basically.
I am 18, and a virgin. Since leaving school, I have done very little in the way of socialising. I regret that now, and it's something I want to change.
Is it normal to feel this way? I really want to find out what it is like to have sex with a guy. But I like women as well.
Any advice would be great. Thanks.
Steven.
well, I don't know that I'd be open to it, but I have quite a few friends who would probably try it at least once...I think it's pretty possible...there are a lot of really open minded girls out there. good luck!!
[QUOTE=Quote (ductapefaerie @ Aug. 03 2004,12:45)]perhaps, when you finally do achieve this fantasy of yours, maybe it will be a girl on the giving end. You can always use a strap on or some such toy for the anal sex part. Maybe all you really want, subconsciously, is for someone to stimulate your prostate, and this is how it's coming to you consciously. Just a thought.[/QUOTE]
You may well have a point. I have thought about what you said before, but it doesn't seem natural for some reason. I would find it a bit strange if a girl was pleasuring my arse. It would be fun, no doubt about that, but how many girls would really go for that sort of thing? A girl licking me out whilst I lick her out? A girl using a dildo to perform anal sex on me? All sounds good, but how common is it in reality?
You like green don't you? (haha - to those who get my joke)
Much better
yes, yes I do...
the green better now that it's not quite so...bright?
Please, ductapefaery, PLEASE get rid of that green, i had to highlight it to read it & to stop the glare hurting my eyes! Just to let you know for further posts
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Shumi, from what i've understood from your posts, i can positively say that you may be bicurious, but more so you may just be fantasizing.
I'm a female, and being with a female could never be in my books - i'm just not attracted to them. But when i fantasize, having a female lick me out or kissing me, WOW turns me on BIG TIME! I was a bit skeptical at one stage thinking i may have been a bit bi, but i'm not - it's all fantasy for me.
Hope this helps.
It's perfectly normal and nothing at all to be ashamed about!! And if you do find that you may be bi, that's nothing to worry about either. Sexuality in general should never be worried about.
But i'll be getting the 'practice' session in first and having the pleasure on my own, too!!
Even i've considered hooking up with a girl, just to see what it's like - i dont think i'll like it in real life though, but who knows? Maybe one day i'll get to give it a go. If i do, it'll be a performance for my man
Happy orgasming!!
ok, whoa, ductapefaerie, can you please not post in neon green? it's very hard to read.
thanks.
and for Schumi,
i still don't find anything wrong with you.
i don't think it's "not normal" for you to just want to be on the receiving end of things. i don't think you're confused by any means.
there are a lot of people out there that would only do things to the opposite sex, but still would like to be on the receiving end of same sex things.
perhaps, when you finally do achieve this fantasy of yours, maybe it will be a girl on the giving end. You can always use a strap on or some such toy for the anal sex part. Maybe all you really want, subconsciously, is for someone to stimulate your prostate, and this is how it's coming to you consciously. Just a thought. Besides, I'm kind of finding it difficult to see how you'd have sex with someone you weren't attracted to. But experimentation isn't bad, in fact, it's rather fun! And welcome to the board!
its normal to have these feelings. i think we have all had feelings of the same sort once in a whil or at least fantasise about it
[quote=Rawbob,Aug. 02 2004,14:22][/quote]
[QUOTE=Quote ]Your declaration of finding women attractive and men not attractive is simply your mind's way of protecting your heterosexuality - ie: it's ok to have sex with a guy, just can't be attracted to him or that makes you gay. Well....thats not true. While being gay or bi is NOT just about sex, clearly, the reality of being bi, gay or str8 does include sex. You saying you don't find men attractive is in the "romantic" sense, correct?[/QUOTE]
It's in every sense. I find it hard to explain. I'm not trying to cover up my feelings or anything like that. I'm being honest when I say I do not find men attractive in any way. But for some reason, I want to try sex with a guy.
[QUOTE=Quote ]Everyone has their "type" when it comes to sexual fantasy..whats yours? Are the men in your fantasies tall, short, old, young, fat, thin, effeminate, masculine?
Do you masturbate to str8 fantasies as much as gay/bi?[/QUOTE]
I masturbate to straight fantasies. I have quite a few porn videos, none of them are gay ones though. Sometimes I masturbate to my bi fantasies, but when I do, I don't have a picture of the guy. I just have the picture of his cock sliding into my arse and having my arse licked out
[QUOTE=Quote ]The fact that you are a virgin at 18 isn't really an issue. However, we need to know if you've dated women? Have you kissed women, had any sexual-type contact at all (rubbing her breasts, fingering, etc)?[/QUOTE]
I haven't dated women as yet, nor have I kissed etc with them. I'm a shy person to be honest with you. I showed interest in a few girls I went to school with, but it never went beyond that.
[QUOTE=Quote ]You have to let go of statments like "i don't find men attractive at all." Clearly you find them SEXUALLY attractive or you woudn't be aroused by the idea of a man's cock in your ass, or him licking your ass as a part of sex.[/QUOTE]
Why let go of the statement when it is true? I fantasize about cock when I have bi/gay feelings, and having my arse licked out. Nothing else. I would not be into kissing guys etc. That does not turn me on.
Hi Shumi, and i'll add my welcome to Sexinfo101!
I've read your posts, I kind of have a different take on your bi-sexual feelings.
Having lived the first 30 years of my life in denial about my homosexuality, i feel i have some personal insight on this subject. I know "everyone is different" however, I think there are a few things that stick out in your posts that make want to delve a bit further.
To be blunt, your "fantasies" are much more advanced than most bi-curious guys i have known over the past 25 years. Having been a "married bi man" i dind't even have fantasies of anal sex and rimming - and i was 30 years old! My initial bi fantasies were more oral in nature and just the notion of touching another man was enough to arouse me.
Your declaration of finding women attractive and men not attractive is simply your mind's way of protecting your heterosexuality - ie: it's ok to have sex with a guy, just can't be attracted to him or that makes you gay. Well....thats not true. While being gay or bi is NOT just about sex, clearly, the reality of being bi, gay or str8 does include sex. You saying you don't find men attractive is in the "romantic" sense, correct?
Everyone has their "type" when it comes to sexual fantasy..whats yours? Are the men in your fantasies tall, short, old, young, fat, thin, effeminate, masculine?
Do you masturbate to str8 fantasies as much as gay/bi?
The fact that you are a virgin at 18 isn't really an issue. However, we need to know if you've dated women? Have you kissed women, had any sexual-type contact at all (rubbing her breasts, fingering, etc)?
Don't get me wrong, I'm gay, and tho it took me nearly 35 years to accept who i am, i can still look at many women and find them very sexually attractive - i've even masturbated to str8 porn since coming out (ok, it's the tommy lee and pamela anderson video, and other famous folks home videos..i like seeing famous cock ahahah).
But i don't talk to str8 women online and get aroused by talking to them sexually.
I think, like the ohters have said, you need to experiment and explore your sexuality. but, that also means yo have to let go of statments like "i don't find men attractive at all." Clearly you find them SEXUALLY attractive or you woudn't be aroused by the idea of a man's cock in your ass, or him licking your ass as a part of sex. (it's ok to be open here, we're not a porno site, it's about sharing and education).
You're a young man who's entering the world for the first time. You have to face new challenges..you are loooking to find out who u are and waht you want out of life - that includes sexually.
Don't be afraid. If you're str8, great. If you're gay, great. You may be bi, but i'm one of those kinda guys who belives that being bi is kinda like limbo - it's just a place one waits till he/she either accepts what he/she knows to be true - or chooses denial and lives the rest of his/her life wiht a big secret.
I hope you'll comment or you can email me directly too.
[QUOTE=Quote (oberon @ Aug. 01 2004,20:44)][/QUOTE]
Yeah, I would say I fall into the bi-curious catagory. I'm not sure how graphic I'm aloud to be on these message boards, but its probably the only way I can describe why I want to have sex with a guy.
When I masturbate, I like to sometimes do a bit of anal play, by slowly moving 1 or 2 fingers in and out of my bum. I love the feeling of having something inside of me, and it's gets me so excitied when I imagine a guys cock in my bum. And the thought of also having a guy lick me out makes it all the more pleasureable. Not sure if I'm making much sense here. Hope I am.
[QUOTE=Quote (Schumi @ Aug. 01 2004,09:56)]I don't find men attractive, only women. From that sense, you might wonder why I want to try sex with a guy?[/QUOTE]
Actually, yes, I did. I almost wrote something about it, but I didn't want to seem judgmental...lol. I, personally, can't grasp having sex with someone you aren't attracted to. But, hey, I'm not the one who's planning on doing it.
I'll just reitterate what I said about being honest with any potential partners and say go for it. It's perfecty okay to experiment. You may find out you don't like it. Then again you may... that's okay too. It's also okay to find other men attractive. Just take your time and find out what is right for you. It's not like the "sex police" are going to show up and demand that you choose straight, gay, or bisexual. I wish you the best of luck and hope you have fun finding out.
[QUOTE=Quote (Schumi @ Aug. 01 2004,11:56)]I guess I am a bit confused. I read somewhere that it's okay to experiment with both women and men, and then come to a conclusion on what you prefer the most. Does that sound like acceptable?[/QUOTE]
prefectly acceptable.
i agree with fury, maybe you are just bicurious.
there was a point in time i was bicurious myself...i guess i still am in a way. i am very much attracted to guys. they are my thing. but when it came to something sexual, i would say it wouldn't bother me to be with a girl as long as a guy was involved. but now it's more or less i would only like to be on the receiving end of the girl, with of course the guy still there. can't say i wouldn't kiss her, but i don't see me eating her out or anything.
so, if you're not normal, neither am i, and neither are a lot of people. lol.
Hmmm, maybe the best way to discribe it is bi-curious. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
[QUOTE=Quote (Tjdude @ July 31 2004,13:31)]Well you could be bisexual, that's why you feel attracted to both male and female.[/QUOTE]
I don't find men attractive, only women. From that sense, you might wonder why I want to try sex with a guy? For whatever reason, it just gets me so turned on when I think about sex with a guy. But I am only interested in receiving, not giving, when it comes to men.
I guess I am a bit confused. I read somewhere that it's okay to experiment with both women and men, and then come to a conclusion on what you prefer the most. Does that sound like acceptable?
Hi Schumi and welcome.
TJdude's answer pretty much covered all the bases. I'll just add to be honest with anyone with which you become involved. If you just want sex, then make that plain at the beginning- I'm sure you won't have a problem finding willing participants. As a gay male, you'd think I'd have a better understanding of bisexuality. You'd be wrong. But, in my very personal opinion, I'd think that other bisexual men would be less likely to become romantically involved- where a gay man might just fall for you. I'm sure you don't want to lead anyone on or hurt anyone. Just be sensitive to their feelings.
Also remember to play safe. Uses condoms.
Other than that, enjoy finding out who you are and don't worry about what other people think. It's you that must be happy with your life, not them.
Well you could be bisexual, that's why you feel attracted to both male and female. But i realy think you should try having sex (my personal advice) with a girl before start telling every one you are gay or bi or enything else. That will be like seting a point of reference, because right now u don't have anything to say for sure what u realy like. After that u can go and have some experience with a guy if u want to.
Is that normal? who cares, realy, as long as you take care of your self and don't hurt any one, you can do as you want. Gl.