First off hello to everyone. This is my first time here.
My BF of 2 1/2 years seems to have suddenly just lost interest in sex. He had a drug prob. And we got thru that together and he has been clean for a few months. Ya Anyway I know it was the drugs that made him lose interest but now he is clean and I think that he just doesn't know how to get started again. I want to help so if anyone can give me any ideas on how to wow him, anything at all. Guys any special things I can do to really knock his socks off. Ladies you know any good tricks. Any help you all could give would really help.
A full body massage with warmed oil, a hot shower, and then some body worship should ignite his engines.
Thank You so much Evil Evil Kitten So far you have been the only one nice enough to give me a tip. I will try that tonight and let you know how well he likes it. Also I wanted to elaborate a little more about the drug prob. I read what I wrote and it sounded bad. So anyways he was addicted to Morphine, he was in a bad motorcycle accident, wasn't his fault, He ended up with 4 screws in his left knee and a hip replacement among many many other things. They gave him Morphine in the hospital, then gave him more for home and he eventually became addicted. We both worked really hard to over come the addiction and I am very proud of him. I just didn't want anyone to get a wrong impression. Thank you again Evil Kitten.
I don't think it is the drugs. I would say that he has gotten used to the comfort of the relationship without sex. He may just simply be disinterested in sex.
If he had the typical male sex drive, my advice to you would be to simply act interested in sex and leave it at that. That's all it should take.
You're welcome, me2 and good luck!
I do act interested in sex, I ask him for it, but he turns me down with one excuse or another. I am starting to feel really rejected. I have sat down and talked to him about it, but he is a typical man he doesn't have much to say, other than he is sorry, he says it is because he is tired, in pain, or falls asleep on the couch. I love him, He is the father of my children and we are a family. I have no disire to begin a relationship with anyone else. But I am starting to think about going outside of our relationship, to find satisfaction. I know that is wrong, but I don't know what else to do. It has been about 2 months since we last had sex. No wait I jumped him in the bedroom the other day while he was changing, I put the baby in the crib and we had sex for about 2 minutes then he said he couldn't go on because the baby was in the room, so neither of us reached climax. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(
Worth a shot....
I hate to bring it up with his prior dependecy to drugs, but a friend of mine just went through a similar situation with a recovering alcoholic BF and he tried cialis and it works for them. He took it the first few times, just to recharge the engines and now they are back to a normal sex life totally without need for a sexual stimulant. She had to plead with him to try viagra or cialis at first, but hopefully your BF can see how important it is to try and you will not have to plead. Goodluck!
[QUOTE=me2;159045]I do act interested in sex, I ask him for it, but he turns me down with one excuse or another. I am starting to feel really rejected. I have sat down and talked to him about it, but he is a typical man he doesn't have much to say, other than he is sorry, he says it is because he is tired, in pain, or falls asleep on the couch. I love him, He is the father of my children and we are a family. I have no disire to begin a relationship with anyone else. But I am starting to think about going outside of our relationship, to find satisfaction. I know that is wrong, but I don't know what else to do. It has been about 2 months since we last had sex. No wait I jumped him in the bedroom the other day while he was changing, I put the baby in the crib and we had sex for about 2 minutes then he said he couldn't go on because the baby was in the room, so neither of us reached climax. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:([/QUOTE]
Well, your story is a common one. You have a husband with zero interest in sex and I have a wife with zero interest in sex. With my wife, there is no answer. Nothing works. I have totally backed off of her to see how long she would go without sex if I wasn't initiating. So far, we're up to Day 110.
So obviously, I have no answers for you. I hope you have better luck than I have had....
You really just need to communicate with him. Let him know how important this is to you. Don't tell him that you're considering going out of the relationship, because that can only make the problem worse. Tell him that you really love him and want your relationship to work, but you really need some satisfaction every once and a while. Tell him that you do not want to leave him over sex, but that you are trying to be understanding and getting frustrated when he just refuses to discuss the issue. Hopefully if he understands how important this is to you, and you address the issue in a loving, mature manner, he will open up to you a little bit.
Beyond that, there really isn't that much to do. If you initiate sex and he just refuses to go any further, where do you turn? Now, I can understand him not wanting to have sex in front of a baby. I'd feel weird about that. But this is a much bigger issue than that.
One thing I wondered from your post is whether he is on any sort of medications now? Antidepressents or pain medications for his accident? If so, these could be the culprit. I've heard countless stories of men loosing libido to medications. So, if he is taking ANY sort of med or supplement, get him to his doctor and see if he can be switched to a different drug. If he's not on meds, you might still want to have him get checked out by a doctor. If his testosterone is low, there ARE remedies!
How is your relationship outside of sex? Can you communicate well? Are you affectionate with each other? Do you get time to be alone? Is he stressed? These will all be huge factors. Stress alone is one of the worst libido-killers. The stress of having a baby alone could be more than enough to cause his disinterest.
So, figure out if there have been any changes in his or your life recently that might account for his loss of libido, and figure out a way for you two to communicate. Learn to communicate NOW before it's too late! This is one of the keys to any good relationship!
I hope this was helpful,
Browneyed girl