From my point of view, I always value personality in a girl, and looks are always a bonus. Its obvious that the guy likes you, be confidant in yourself and you shall reap the benefits of making yourself feel good and your man.

We are an appearance-driven society, no doubt about that.

But that doesn't mean it's all that matters. Trust this guy to be interested in you as a whole person, not just a body.

The bigger turnoff is being paralyzed by a lack of self-confidence, including an unwillingness to accept another person's interest and desire.

One request: when you return to read the replies post something positive about yourself.

I agree with the above posts. Especially Wally's. Self doubt and lack of self-confidence is unattractive. (My boyfriend has told me so). Just realise you are beautiful in your own way just like everyone else. And you are valued for your personallity and being who you are. He obviously likes you, so trust him and yourself and indulge.

And post something positive if you've read these replies! :-)

hi tinas, Being overweight (as said by the above replies) is not a turn off provided you carry yourself with confidence (wally) and your appearance (as with people of any build) is neat and presentable.

I agree that this guy must like you as, if he didn't, he would not have asked you out again.

As said by Wally, appearance is what society looks at and as such irrespective of one's body size, if you can carry yourself with confidence and dignity you can be every bit (if not more so) as sexy as the so called "well built" persons.

Remember, the old (but true) cliche, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I know of many guys (myself included) that prefer a larger figured lady over a "skinny" girl.

Please, there is no offence intended on any parties but cleanliness, confidence, personality qand presentability is of paramount importance.

being overweight is NOT a turn off. I always think about bigger women, and im am not overweight. and this is my point of view, unless you are a transvestite, women only get prettier with less clothes.

WallyLamma's got it... Men are attracted to slim, trim female bodies the same way women are attracted to men with lots of money/resources/influence: In a hormonal and obsolete way.

These things may have mattered a lot in hunter/gatherer societies, but in the modern world it is shallow to rely only on such factors.

I think we humans are really obsolete creatures now when it comes to selecting a sexual partner; We've changed our environment and society faster than evolution changes us, and as such both women and men have a powerful underlying sexual attraction to factors that really shouldn't be the most important things in a partner.

I'm not saying that people aren't attracted to a person's reliability, honesty, generosity, integrity, intelligence, openness, etc. It's just that our instincts don't put these things first. I wonder how much better the world would be if our instincts really did prioritise these things above looks and money.

i hate to bring this phrase up because it's slightly offensive, but some guys prefer "more cushion for the pushin." I know several men who find slender women to look sickly and are afraid that they'll break them. more men think that then you'd think, but it's almost like the media doesn't want that secret to get out. and i think that only size 14, you have nothing to worry about, especially since your guy genuinely likes you for you, which women of any size want.

i guess its how shallow a person is! Although my friends would call me a bit of a hypocrite, i generally go for the slim girls at first, but if i find if im attracted to a 'bigger' girl, i would become attracted to them after iv got to know them..
Im sure your male friend wont be put off by your body, and if he is you can do better! :)

Considering he has asked you out continuously, and assuming you aren't rediculously RICH, chances are... he likes ya. And the most important thing you could have in a situation like this was mentioned earlier in posts above me: Confidence.

And personally... Too skinny can be a BIG turn off sometimes... Makes it seem like they are a 9 year old boy. *shiver*

If he is attracted to you, then you have nothing to worry about. The fact that he is showing interest in you means that he feels attraction. You do have to respect someone though with their choices in physical appearance. To dismiss someone as shallow because they want someone that is physically fit isn't fair. Personally I would not date someone with a weight issue because it has many negatives that take away from things that I enjoy in life. Sports and physical activities is something that is of great interest and being with someone that is capable of that is a big deal.

i have wondered that very same question myself (being size 11-12 or occasionnaly 14, depending on the clothe style lol)...
i gained 30 lbs in the last 1,5 year (thats a whole other story on its own lol).. and maybe i do find that i dont get hit on really in bars as much, less smiles in the subway and stuff... but definitely the people who know me still like me for who i am... and sure the weight is a blow to the self confidence, but we have to remember that we have other qualities...

if the guy asked you out, there must have been some interest there, u could always bring up your concern just so that he knows how you feel, (i do that occasionally with my bf, especially that i was more a size 7-8 when i met him)... but i dont dwell on it every moment of every day because indeed that would be annoying...

and perhaps its true about looking more upkept is more important than size... i could use some revamping in that department, only recently have i started to "force" myself to get dressed everyday (sometimes i work from home so would usually mope around in pj's lol)...

also, ive been walking and going to the gym once in a while when i have a chance... i try not to make an international event out of it, and cant say that ive lost any weight really as of yet, but i do feel better and my bf seems happy for me that im making an effort to be healthy in general, as do i :)

to be honest i find bigger women quite a turn on. my g/f isnt a stick either thank god and she does it 4 me every time

what really matter to me is that she knows her body, one of my x weigh as much as i do, so she is not stick.

i love holding her and having sex with her. would not miss it for the world.

it is the matter how much you trust that person. no every one can be or should be a super model.

My personal take on this is what is overweight?? The medical profession has charts that tell you what you should be...if someone is WAY OFF those charts I think there looms trouble...if there is a medical condition, work by the doctors should be done if it can be :) I don't know of any doctors that tell their patients,,,hell ya..your 20-30 lbs overweight..keep up the good work!!:confused: ...could be psychological problems:( ...I never dated super models, I have dated ladies that could be perceived as overwieght but anything too far out of range would tell me there might be underlying problems..you've got to make time to take care of your body and keep it in tune...i'm no skinny minny myself, but i play tennis and squash about 8- 10 hrs a week....so I guess yah...too far overweight is a turn off because it tells me that something is not diagnosed or some issue doesn't want to be dealt with..or a lifestyle choice is hindering good health... it means I don't care about my body and if you don't like it...don't look...
that's my feeling about the question asked...I'll just go into the other room and put my flame suit on...and I'll return soon:)

Why you, Luvs2plzU...!!!! What kind of response is that?!?! (Ah, darn...I can't come up with anything funny on that one.) Oh, I love the quote on your signature.

To me, weight is a personal preference. I've always liked bigger men, tall and heavy, though I guess not obese. The man I'm with now is 6 foot tall, probably less than 200 lbs., though. (To ME that is skinny, compared to my last man who was 6'4" and about 325.)

I'm a short, but thick woman. Most people, when they find out how much I weigh, don't believe it. Most say, even at the doctor's office, that I carry it well. (I'm larger than a size 14, probably a 16-18, though I've worn a 20-22 before!) My last man I got when I was even bigger than I am now, but I have lost weight. I wonder sometimes if the weight bothers him, but he tells me he loves my curves AND that he loves when I wear clothes that show off those curves. For whatever reason, I am never self-conscious in front of him! I don't care if he sees me totally naked in broad daylight and he LIKES that. I'm a very sexual person and don't even think about my size when it comes to having sex. I figure if he didn't like the way I look, he wouldn't be with me.

The one thing I will warn you about... DON'T be so down on yourself about your size (which by the way is NOT that big!) that you give yourself low self-esteem and have sex with any man that comes by, just because he shows you a little attention. That might turn into just an easy bang for them. Respect yourself and have some self-worth. If he's interested, he'll stick around.

it all opinon,for some yes ,and some no