I came back from my BCT/OSUT training for the military on march 4th. about 3-4 days afterwards some friends and myself were stuck in a hotel room for damn near 2 weeks having fun and what not. A close friend of mine i met at a previous job brought a friend of hers over, and from there was about 6-8 days of sex. My first time but the thing is i could never really cum, i maybe came once the entire 6-8 days, she could never really go more than 15-25 minutes. The first day she came several times within a 7-10 minute period. The reason why she couldnt go past 15-25 minutes (not even sure we ever made it to 15 but im giving it some spacing just in case.) is because she always said that it hurt (she wasn't a virgin, not sure what was wrong). Since my move i've met someone new and we can go for hours but it is still hard for me to cum. I have no problems getting/keeping it up, no issues in any other way. I always manage to make her cum at least 6 times easy. I excersice daily, eat healthy, i keep everything clean and orderly. The last month i've been kind of keeping counter of everything, it seems to be the exact same thing give or take a day, but I seem to only cum every third to fourth time we do it, but when i do cum it hardly affects me, I know it feels REALLY good when I am able to but other than that it never stops me, which the first time really freaked her out because after we finished she asked if i had came, I told her yes and she looked dumbfounded. Which made me fairly uncomfortable because I had never realized that it should affect your motions or you physically, because when I am able to cum it just seems to re-energize me and I feel like we just started all over again. We use all these different positions and try anything we can think of but nothing changes. We just want to know if this is normal at all or what's going on. I am happy with everything as it is but my girl said to either do this myself or she would, so I decided to get it done, with the full correct story.
Sat, 08/14/2010 - 04:21
#1
Been bugging us.
We are both in college and i love him very much, we have been together for about 4 months now and everything is great. We have a great sex life and social life(:, he seems to always be able to get me, but i don't know what is going on with him):. I love the energy and the stamina he has, but i can never quite tell if or when he has actually came, much less if he is telling me the truth about it. I just want him to be as happy as possible and if we can figure out this problem i think he will enjoy sex even more. I do not know if this is very helpful but, his length is 7" and his girth is abut 4 1/2", i know he isn't self conscious about it, because hell i love his size and i let him know it!! But we both just want to know if there is a way to help us out a little more.
Thank you
I Love You Baby!
Hey you two :)
It sounds as if you are putting a fair amount of between the sheets action in and a LOT of pressure on yourself to peak. Contrary to popular belief men can suffer from anxiety problems and cause them to find it hard to orgasm.
Are you using condoms? They can desensitise you a LOT. If you are, I would try using some lubricant on the glans before putting the condom on.
Do you peak quickly with masturbation?
I know it is hard, but try to put more emphasis on enjoying each others bodies and less on the end results.
Hey thank you for your response. I do not see how he is under alot if any pressure. We do not use condoms because i am on the pill. He has told me that he had only masturbated a couple times in his life, he just never enjoyed it, we have tried mutual masturbation and that seems to not really do much of anything at all either. He'll probably kill me after he see's this but oh well :), I don't think he really care's wether or not he climaxes. He will always make sure i have had plently myself though:o. He moans alot and he enjoys every minute of it as do I. When we are in the middle of it, all there seems to be is just me and him, no one else. But he does have this thing where he wont actually enter me until he has had at least an hour or two of foreplay, wonderful massages, the works, i've never had someone that would take care of me like that before and i love it (my guilty pleasure i suppose :D) After about an hour or so after that he loves to go back to the start so I may rest/recover a little bit then it's back to it. Another thing is I am someone who likes to watch porn and i keep trying to get him to watch it with me, but he just dosen't seem to be into it at all:(. I mean he will sit there with me but he won't pay any attention to it, all he will do is just sit there and hold me with his head on my shoulder.
I realize i just posted something but I really wanted to add a couple more things before i forget. I am not very sure if this could help but here we go. He used to tell me stories about his family and how he grew up and he loves animals, i mean absolutly loves them. Since he was a baby his family has had about 10 dogs all large breeds. They had gotten each one as puppies and he raised almost all of them. He had a siberian husky, 2 german shepards, a golden retriever, a wolf hyrbid, and a black lab, all pure bred with the exception of the hybrid which was a mix of an arctic white wolf and a siberion husky. I think he really misses having an animal in the house, because when we moved in together he made sure there was a large back yard and a fence around it. Granted he already tore the old metal fencing out and it putting up a new wooden fence. He keeps making the grass nice, flush, and even (one of his hobbies, others are woodworking and auto work). Anyways, back to what i was saying :rolleyes:, He likes to lay in the backyard alot (mostly at night), he could be out there anywhere from an hour to three. I don't usually bother him when he is out there because i think it is just his personal time, but i do feel he only uses that time to think about quite a bit, literally he could be out there and get a phone call, i will walk out to tell him, and he won't notice for about a minute or so. Does anyone else have a certaint someone who does something similar and have you figured out why? Don't get me wrong he is one of the happiest people i know, but i can tell he has alot on his mind even though he tries to hide it. Do you think if we got a puppy would it cheer him up a little bit?
i dont really know what i could do for you two but mabye try like dressing up for each other mabye you can get a lil sexy outfit to wear or a new thong and bra mabye. or you could play with each other or by your self and let each other see, try new pisitions, or mabye have you on top so hes under you n you just go crazy or get lil toys like handcuffs lol .. i dont really know what else hope it helps .
try ben dover, basset hound, bent spoon, big dipper, bodyguard, booster seat, or mabye bridge hope these positions help you two
Orgasm for either or both partners is not always the most important thing aout sex. There is the emotional and romantic closeness aspect also. Most men, especially younger men, usually complain about reaching orgasm "too soon." Here is a case of the male having difficulty reaching orgasm.
This difficluty could arise from stress or performance anxiety or it could be physiological.
What I am about to suggest might not remedy your problem and if it does you might not see instant results. Give it a try anyway.
1. Have some exploratory intimacy sessions. Take lots of time to look at each other, to touch, caress, kiss, lick, suck etc every bit of each other's bodies.
2.Pay attention to how your partner responds to everything you do to him/her. Don't be afraid to ask how somethinmg feels and if you are the one receiveing don't be afraid to say whether you like something, whether it drives you wild or whether you find it unpleasant.
3. Coitus is not the immediate goal, but if you feel like doing it then you should
4. If you do engage in coitus, oral sex, or manual stimulation remember orgasm does not have to be the goal. This is just an intimacy exercise to find out what turns your partner or you on most for future reference.
5. Your guy might need more foreplay in order to reach orgasm more easily during the main event. Based on what you learned in your exploratory intimacy exercise use the things that got the best result during foreplay. Foreplay is good. The more turned on a person is the easier it is to reach orgasm.
Get a good sex manual and go through it together. Also for good fundamental ideas on foreplay and reving your partner up for sex look for the sticky post on this forum by EvilEvilKitten called The Program. It's written in a style directed at men, I believe, but a relatively bright person can easily reverse the roles so that a woman can take the same approach toward a man.
I hope this is helpful
Thank you so much! We'll try it tonight and hope everything goes for the best.
Sorry i was trying to edit the above posting but it kept messing up :(. I looked at The Program and it dosent seem to be much different than what we do most of the time. Then he isn't stressed or anxious about anything. He is honestly the happiest and most content person i have ever met, which is one of the things that drew me toward him. You could stick him in one of the worst case scenarios and i could never imagine him with a frown. When we first met he told something that i will never forget, "No matter what situation you end up in, no matter where you go, there is always something good waiting to be found, even in someone who cannot find it in themselves."
Thank you for your time
This isn't going to be well received, perhaps, but you have to rule out anything MEDICAL first. He needs a full physical.
If nothing is found, then you have to consider his thoughts and policies regarding sex itself. Sex begins and ends in the brain. Yes, he enjoys it but.. he doesn't orgasm.
There are several possible reasons for this:
1. fears loss of control
2. holds negative thoughts regarding sex - it is bestial or dirty for example
3. thinks orgasm is for reproduction or fears he may cause something since he is having unprotected sex (Both of you should know better).
You two need to have a conversation.
And YOU should be doing The Program, etc. to HIM not the other way around.
He had a physical about 2 months ago when he had to get the paper-work to be able to play for the teams at our school. They had told him that everything looked good and that he was healthy.
I do realize that sex without a condom can be potentially dangerous but we both got checked for STD's, I am on the pill, and we are both highly hygenic, well groomed/active healthy people. We eat as healthy as we can each morning we both run eight miles at the track around the lake.
"There are several possible reasons for this:
1. fears loss of control
2. holds negative thoughts regarding sex - it is bestial or dirty for example
3. thinks orgasm is for reproduction or fears he may cause something since he is having unprotected sex (Both of you should know better)."
To number one: he is not a controlling person in the least so i do not understand if that would have anything to do with it.
To number two: I don't understand if that would even be plausible, we both love sex, and if it bothered him like that wouldn't he show it or at least say something?
Number three was stated up above ( I am sorry for getting it out of order).
Could you tell me what we need to talk about? I do not understand fully as to what you meant about that.
Thank you and i apologize if i misread/overlooked any part of your message.
Thank you everyone who helped especially to Funinthesun, EvilEvilKitten, and RedRoses. We didn't get to talk about everything last night, but I took some advice given to gauge his reaction with different spots on his penis to find his sweet spot :D. After about 3 hours into it we changed over to the 69 position, so I decided to try this starting with the larger motions going to smaller motions. About another 10-15 minutes go by i'd say, I FOUND IT!! You know where you have the base of the tip, where you have that slight drop to the shaft? I hit that spot very slowly with my pointer and middle fingers together and my thumb on the other side. I noticed this because when I was moving my hand up-wards the base of the tip, his entire body tensed up and I could swear his jaw was shaking! So i continued to hit just that spot for a nice while longer, each time his body contracting, shaking, I LOVED IT! I also found that when I used my other hand to grab the base of his penis while continueing to hit that one spot (I would change from the 3 fingers to my tounge sliding it around in that same spot), every time he would tense up his penis would practically throb so hard that it seemed as if it grew a little ( I don't know if that is even possible or what exactly I am just stating the experience in through my eyes). A few minutes later HE CAME! He had never came through foreplay with me before (I guess in our case it's middle play), I was so excited that i had instantly came as well! It was the greatest orgasm i had ever seen him have, and in a way probably my greatest as well! When it happened up until the time he had finished his whole body basically contracted, toes curled :D, pure ecstasy! From there we were both having spectacular orgasm's every, um, kind of hard to tell but i would have to guess about every 10-20 minutes ( I think he came more last night than in his whole life!!). We had started shortly after he had gotten home (he dosen't have work today so i told him he was all mine!) which was around 1am (started around 2am or so after we had showered) and the last time i remember seeing the clock it was around 9am. I have no idea what happened between then and when we woke up at about 2pm. All i know is i was waking up, and your not going to believe this even if you saw it :o. A few things before I tell the story, first i had no clue his penis was damn near still hard as a rock, second I didn't know i was still laying on top of him when i started streching, last but certaintly not least, i had no clue he was still halfway in me! Here's what happened, I was waking up, did my stretching thing, i feel a tickle down there, i come and let out this yelp of suprise, he JUMPS up, not knowing that his penis was in me still, BAM! He thrusts it in, and another orgasm for me! Our bed was completly soaked when we got up, portions of the carpet wet, and the moment he tries to get up, he FALLS flat on his face. I tried to get up to help him, turns out all i helped with is crushing his back as well :o. All in all, a VERY, VERY good night!
We do have some conserns, his penis is very sore and sensative, looks a little raw as well, it's hurting him so much he can't even put underwear or pants on right now. Does anyone know how long this is going to last? And does anyone know any really good positions as to to hit that one sweet spot he has instead of having to do it the way i did last night every time?
Thank you
Juliana & Jason
Okay - he doesn't have to be 'a controlling person' as regards YOU but he may fear losing control of himself - orgasms do tend to be overwhelming and even so this could all be subconcious just something unexplored in the back of his brain putting the stops on.
He might NOT want to talk about it. He might have buried these thoughts or thought 'he was over' them so why discuss it?
Based upon what's going on in the thread - there's something going on with him. You're giving him space and that's fine - but until he talks/explains what's going on, no one can really help.
BTW - that spot on his penis - usually works for all guys any thing around the glans will be sensitive.
There's another spot same side but waay down right at the base of the shaft that tends to 'prime the pump' but at that one you have to apply a certain amount of pressure as you stroke upward - short strokes staying on that spot.