Well... How to put it? I have a very basic question on pleasing men.
I lost my virginity a few years ago, in my late teens. I really loved the guy and it was the right choice make. However, I didn't find sex to be all that. I was always so excited but penetration was not really that plesurable. I think it was the same for him. Everything was strange. The condoms seemed to be too tight at the base of his penis, so he wasn't that confortable, he also mentioned that I might be 'too wide' (?! Is this even possible for a recently non-virgin?), etc...
I always loved making out, and I was good at it, however not great at having sex... so I felt I was really letting my bf down.
So when we broke up, I never had sex again. I ended up focusing in school and then in my job, and ended up making these great excuses for not getting envolved or have sex again.
Now it's different. I met this guy that I like. I want to have great sex with him!
The thing is, I never really knew what to do exactly, like the movements, etc. and then since I stoped, I never really learnt.
My question is, when penetration happens, should I contract my vaginal muscles? Should I keep them contracted or should I contract them at intervals? What movements should I do? Or should I keep my muscles relaxed and in-and-out movements are sufficient?
Thank you. Your help and advice are appreciated!
Molly.
Sun, 09/07/2008 - 16:38
#1
Basic questions...
Much has to do with each of your skills. It takes time to develop and to enjoy the sensations. Just relax and enjoy the moment. A new partner is difficult to find out exactly what they want since you are just getting to know the other.
Practice makes perfect--and a very enjoyable sex life. Read through many of the threads & posts--be certain to do your Kegels!
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.
Your concerns have been addressed in one or more articles listed in the Index found at the top of the main screen. Please look it over and read most if not all of the articles listed, including the one about one person having more experience than the other, whether true in your case or not.
As for the past, condoms come in small/medium/large. It may be that your previous boyfriend chose the wrong one; although, it may be that even if it was correct, not being used to them he may have felt "constricted".
The sensations felt inside the vagina are quite different from what we have become accustomed to through masturbation. This can very possibly be while you felt "loose" or not tight or whatever.
As for movements, let me point to the site's Home Page. We have lots of illustrated animated sexual positions that should help. I really suggest just going with what seems right to do in the moment and taking your cues from each others reactions.
Becoming proficient at making love in all of its facets as well as having intercourse, takes time and practice and is going to be somewhat different with each person. It can also be different with the same partner sometimes. Please do not be overly critical or wanting to be a perfectionist. This is completely unrealistic. I agree with Sera, loosen up, relax, have fun, enjoy each other. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other. It is a partnership so enjoy and look forward to exploring and learning together.