Hi, I'm a first time poster, but a long time reader... My girlfriend has been pressuring me for a long time to get her a vibrator and I have been doing my research on here for a while now. It has come to my attention that it may be possible for a woman to become "vibrator-dependent" for reaching a climax. I am very worried about this and she continues to say that I am being silly and that it will never be as good as when I perform cunnilingus because there is more passion and whatever else she might say to get her way. I just don't understand why she could possibly want one seeing as how I perform oral sex on her practically every day and she finishes in an explosive (ejaculation) mannor. She is really making me feel bad, but I don't want to lose the ability to make her orgasm and I worry that by caving in to her wishes, I will.
Thanks for any help.
I wouldnt be concerned - many women have vibrators, and obviously still prefer the real thing. (Man or woman) Nothing can possibly compare to the feeling of warm lips on skin, and the physical smells, feelings, tastes and sensations of skin on skin contact.
I would buy it, enjoy it, and dont worry. Vibrators can add to your sex life in many ways if you have an open mind!
I own two vibrators and, while the orgasm from a vibrator is great, it does not compare to an orgasm that is given to me by someone who i know cares about me. I use the vibrator on the days that i am especially horny and may not get to see my bf/gf.
Don't worry about it!
> It has come to my attention that it may be possible for a woman to become "vibrator-dependent" for reaching a climax. I am very worried about this
You do have some cause for worry; however, you must understand that it takes quite a lot of conditioning for dependency to occur. So, while it is possible to become dependent or to rely upon the stronger intensity a vibrator produces, it won't just happen--it takes time.
So, the replies above are spot on. So too is the fact that vibrators used in moderation are not harmful in this regard.
But see, my girl is the type of girl that watches hard-core porn on her own. She is the type of girl that would use that damn thing every free second she has. My other worry is that since she is getting her pleasure elsewhere, what is the point in me pleasuring her anymore?
Do guys that constantly watch porn and masturbate not want a real woman?? Ask Sirene... lol he's in a situtation like yours, just kind of the opposite.
I mean toys are all well and good... but they are much more fun to share, even if you use them alone too.... Dildos and vibes don't compare to a real penis and human touch.
Well you just said it yourself "they don't compare to a real penis or human touch..." So if that is the case, then why use one at all and be happy that you are getting the human touch (and orgasm) on a daily basis? Why want more than that?
Not trying to cause conflict, but the whole situation makes me feel as if I am doing something wrong and am inadequate.
[QUOTE=eldiablo_si;168202]But see, my girl is the type of girl that watches hard-core porn on her own. She is the type of girl that would use that damn thing every free second she has. My other worry is that since she is getting her pleasure elsewhere, what is the point in me pleasuring her anymore?[/QUOTE]
quit being a control freak, she should be able to pleasure herself whenever she wants. If pleasuring herself causes her to neglect you, then you may have a problem,but until that happens and who says it ever would, let her have her own privacy and enjoyment,it just might be BETTER for you in the long run!
I am no control freak.... Quite the contrary... She is the one who tells me what to do..... I have absolutely no say whatsoever in the relationship.:(
[QUOTE=eldiablo_si;168287]I am no control freak.... Quite the contrary... She is the one who tells me what to do..... I have absolutely no say whatsoever in the relationship.:([/QUOTE]
well then, you better DO WHAT SHE SAYS and quit procrastinating!
Listen what [COLOR="Navy">Dancingdoc2[/COLOR] said good advice there
If you have no say in the entire relationship - there may be more issues there than this, but one thing at a time!
I wouldnt worry... Id take her out, and BOTH of you can enjoy picking out toys.
Or, browse online together - whats more fun than that!??
[QUOTE=eldiablo_si;168268]Well you just said it yourself "they don't compare to a real penis or human touch..." So if that is the case, then why use one at all and be happy that you are getting the human touch (and orgasm) on a daily basis? Why want more than that?
Not trying to cause conflict, but the whole situation makes me feel as if I am doing something wrong and am inadequate.[/QUOTE]
Well like I mentioned in one of the masturbation posts.. sometimes before bed I just like to use my vibe real quick just to relax... I don't do a big ritual or even get worked up... just use my vibe and orgasm in like a minute.
Sometimes I don't want to go through the whole production of having sex... even if its a quickie... it still takes awhile... a lot longer than one minute lol.
Plus I don't really like quickies too much... if I am going to have sex... I want foreplay and all.
When my b/f and I have sex... I usually need a vibe on my clit to orgasm... but the orgasms I have w/ him penetrating while I use the vibe on my clit are WAY more intense than the ones I give myself.
Some women can orgasm easily.. some need extra help. I think the quote in Maxim was 2/3 of women can't orgasm w/ vaginal penetration alone. I use my hand on my clit sometimes.. but then it starts to get tired. My b/f doesn't feel threatened that I need "extra" help... he even bought me my first vibe.
The whole thing shouldn't be about you.... like someone else said.. if her masturbation takes away from you guys having sex... then its a problem... but why not have both?!?
I really boils down to your self esteem and trusting her when she says that she is satisfied and enjoys having sex with you.
If you are afraid she is going to replace you with a toy. That's not going to happen. For most women sex is more than just climax. It is emotional too, and it's really hard to get emotional with your toy.
Just an idea, but have you considered a couple's toy? She'll get the vibration she is craving (in fact you can both feel the vibrations), and she uses it with you. That way you both win!!!
However, if she uses a toy alone it is no reflection on how well you please her. Sometimes women need an extra release just like men. Not to mention that self exploration of what pleases an individual can lead to better sex with your partner, which is true for both of you.
Relax and Enjoy.
If you are afraid that she is going to replace you with a toy. That's not going to happen. For most women sex is more than just climax. It is emotional too, and it's really hard to get emotional with your toy.
Just an idea, but have you considered a couple's toy? She'll get the vibration she is craving (in fact you can both feel the vibrations), and she uses it with you. That way you both win!!!
However, if she uses a toy alone it is no reflection on how well you please her. Sometimes women need an extra release just like men. Not to mention that self exploration of what pleases an individual can lead to better sex with your partner, which is true for both of you.
Relax and Enjoy
[QUOTE=eldiablo_si;168287]I am no control freak.... Quite the contrary... She is the one who tells me what to do..... I have absolutely no say whatsoever in the relationship.:([/QUOTE]
Hun, have you ever used a vibrator or dildo on her ..or on another lady...trust me...you will open a whole new box...try it out...don't sit there and be a poo...look at them online or go out to the TOY store and the two of you look at them....and pick one out...and have her pick one out to use on you...I have plenty of toys...and they do not in any way make me just want that toy...I have a man....we are both very open...and he uses them on me...and he even bought a toy for me to use on him...a glass anal plug...I love it...it opened up another door in our relationship...have you expressed to her your feelings? and I don't believe that she is fully controling this relationship....here is something to think about...if you are unconfortable with the toys she wants...go out to the grocery store and get some veggies...cucumbers work well...large and make sure you get them with lots of dots on them....try something hun...make that next time fun and exciting...
A cucumber? Your joking right... Nothing bigger than me is going anywhere near her... We broke up anyways so she can do whatever the hell she wants now. Things just didn't turn out... Now we are great friends with even greater benefits, although if you read my other thread I started yesterday, you would see that that won't be for too very much longer.
By the way... Do I come across as prudish for saying what I have said?
I have several ...hmmm...toys. As much as I love them and the results they provide, I still long for the real thing. Even as realistic as you can find vibes these days there is still no comparing the the real deal.