When my girlfriend gives me oral sex it feels good, at first. After a while of her sucking on the head of my penis it starts to get way too intense of a feeling. It is almost unbereable. The problem is it doesn't get me any closer to orgasm.
What other things can she do while she is down there? Most things i have seen tend to deal with sucking on the head.
She seems to like doing this. She is already self-conscious about doing it. I think if I tell her what to do she will get more down on herself and not want to do it because she feels she is bad at it. How do I bring it up without making her feel like she is doing a bad job?
Suggest she lick it like an ice cream cone or lolly pop.
Bobbing the head up and down? Using a hand on the shaft while she licks the head?
If she's actually SUCKING, I don't think she understands oral sex.
When a guy says "suck my dick," he really doesn't mean that literally, he means it figuratively.
A little suction is a good thing; going off like a vacuum cleaner is painful.
It's kind of like having a girl go down on you and actually "blow" on it. That's just silly, right?
[QUOTE=HOTFIRE;195344]She is already self-conscious about doing it. I think if I tell her what to do she will get more down on herself and not want to do it because she feels she is bad at it. [/QUOTE]
not necessarily. the first time i gave my guy a blowjob i felt stupid and clueless :o but he kept giving me suggestions and tips, and it actually helped me feel more relaxed to have some guidance.
[QUOTE=Ephemera;195349]
A little suction is a good thing; going off like a vacuum cleaner is painful.
[/QUOTE]
lol my neighbor actually tried his vaccum. Had trouble walking for a week
Anyways hotfire I know what your talking about, I think, I have trouble having my girlfriend using lube when she gives me a handjob, because the head is WAY too sensitive, no pleasure just uncomfortable...Never found a way around it. But I notice it actually feels great during sex. just for hand jobs it hurts.
Hot damn, Hotfire! Unless there is something rough and/or abrasive about her technique then please tell her she is not doing anything necessarily wrong. The two of you need information, and I am glad you asked.
> She seems to like doing this. She is already self-conscious about doing it.
Her confidence will build with time and knowing that she is pleasing you.
> I think if I tell her what to do she will get more down on herself and not want to do it because she feels she is bad at it.
Perhaps, perhaps this is just your lack of information. I have written a lot over the years about communication being the cornerstone to a successful relationship. I recommend that the two of you begin talking together and not wondering or "thinking" too much. The other major topic that gets a lot of my attention is with "making him/her cum", and if this is what you are striving for then it is important for the two of you to know and understand that we do not give orgasms away. Each of us is responsible for our own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve one.
Whether the concern be the how-to's of manual {hand) stimulation, oral stimulation, or, actual intercourse; what each of us understands are the basics, yet there is more to all of these forms of stimulation that I refer to as the "Fine Art" of the matter. The Fine Art varies with the individual and is specific and unique to each of us; therefore, it is important that we show each other how we masturbate, guide their movements; AND, with regard to Foreplay with the penis, how best to go about it. This requires communication.
Another form of communication is Feedback. When we masturbate we benefit from our own internal feedback that guides our movements and calls for any "mid course" corrections along the way. When we turn the reins over to someone else that type of feedback is lost. To replace it we can substitute verbal and/or non-verbal communication that informs our partner how we are responding to their caresses and for what we may need--now! We are not mind readers, and you can't just expect her to know how to please you innately. Silence is NOT golden.
> What other things can she do while she is down there? Most things i have seen tend to deal with sucking on the head.
* Show her the Frenulum and how and when to rub or stroke it. It is your A#1 hotspot.
* One or more other hotspots are arbitrarily distributed around the Corona Rim. Learn where these are, show her where these are, help her to incorporate them into her hand jobs, then give her Feedback.
* Use as light a touch and as slurpy a touch as you can.
* The same goes for a hand job only with a lubrication. The type of stimulation changes between a dry stroking action and a slippery grazing action.
* Have her learn to incorporate your scrotum and testicles.
FOR MORE on all this, read:
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
To me, it's all about lubrication, lubrication and ... lubrication. Lots of saliva, hers or mine, every few minutes, repeatedly. And I mean lots of it! And I also agree that it's not the "sucking" that does the trick, it's the combined feeling of her masturbating me as she licks, and the warmth and moist of the mouth and of the tongue.
Definitely an art form. To both receive and give. In the same way as it is for oral on her. But oh what a joy once the two of us find the proper way of pleasing each other.
Enjoy!