I have recently had sex for the 1st time and i have grown very attracted to the girl, is that normal i just feel different about her than any of the other girls ive know but is that only because we had sex? Secondly im trying to build a relationship with her and her birthday is in a few weeks would it be a good Idea if I get her a gift?
Wed, 11/05/2008 - 01:33
#1
is the attraction different
Yes & yes. No extravagant gifts and be certain to get her a nice card...nothing romantic...find something cute & humorous. If you don't she'll think your unworthy. It's the thought which counts not the gift!!!!
She is a fan actually a fanatic of a certain baseball team lol and i wanted to get her a shirt or sweatshirt of that team it would be around 50 dollars or so would that be too much?
[quote=duh477;228145]She is a fan actually a fanatic of a certain baseball team lol and i wanted to get her a shirt or sweatshirt of that team it would be around 50 dollars or so would that be too much?[/quote] If you can afford it, I would saY it would be fine...and DO NOT FORGET THE CARD!
yeah i can it only turned out to cost about 30 dollars ill get the card thanks for ur help!
[quote=duh477;228149]yeah i can it only turned out to cost about 30 dollars ill get the card thanks for ur help![/quote] You are welcome. Keep the card nice, no romance yet just cute & sort of insinuating that you are interested. Be certain you hand write in it!
You feel this way about her BECAUSE you have had sex with her and you're rather new to this whole thing and because you have not yet learned to separate sex and love and infatuation which are three different things.
Sera's quite right - keep it light & fun but cool it with the 'romance'.
Please use condoms.
this girl recently told me that she doesnt want a relationship because she recently got out of one, but why would she do this to me, she invited me over to her place, and did a lot of stuff that made me think she wanted a relationship, i just feel upset that she would let me become attracted to her and all along not tell me that she didnt want a relationship in the first place. I guess its my fault for thinking to much of it and I was just confused and lonely. Should I still give her the gift anyway?
See EEK's response above. You are not separating love and sex and infatuation and whatever. The fact that she invited you over does not indicate she wants a life partner. Maybe she just wanted to get laid. Can the gift. Send a pleasant card.
Don't give her the gift.
Too bad it turned out that way.
does that mean that she still wants to be with him?
does that mean she still wants him?
Yes, she still likes and wants him. But she's doing the NSA approach to things.
whats the nsa
Hmm, "love and sex and infatuation" are different feelings. Sure, one should recognise the differences, particulalry when the other person maybe (just maybe!) and u are at different places (I hate that word) regarding these feelings. The trick is to know the difference in your heart, act responsibly, but without jettisonning the feelings.
Speeking just for myself, it breaks my heart when I see someone who can be someones lover, yet might be capable of ruthlessly turning the tap off on their feelings. It feels like the heavy steel door of some air-raid shelter slamming shut in your face. And they bury themselves underground. I digress.
Actually, infatuation can be annoying. Skip it.
U asked "but why would she do this to me". Can't help referring to the eternal truth that other people can be just as ambivalent, cautious, unsure, surprised by their feelings as u. Headline news - maybe she wanted onething, and changed her mind.
U were lovers, both young(?), she can read the power of your feelings, she recalls a bad past relationship, alarm bells ring in her mind. Can she handle this? What would u be to her if it got deeper? A common train of thought.
Yep, send her a thoughtfull witty card, showing u like her, one or two of her good points. Say it was lovely to be together. Show u understood her, but are not requiring something from her. Light but not flippant. Be a gentleman.
Me? I like someone who can put one spot-on observation about me, and one about them, and an anecdote about the recent bedtime (candid not vulgar), in a funny card. Don't get many of those....
Infatuation = when you cannot see his/her flaws, all is 'hearts and flowers'. That 'heady rush' & all is ROMANCE!
Love = when you can see the flaws and realise that he/she would be a much less loved person without them. The thought of putting him/her up onto a pedestal is hilarious to you! The deeply abiding bond that sneaks up on you and you realise that it has always been there.