I am 17. I am a very sexually thinking girl and have always been since i was like 8. Well i have been so horny lately that i have been cybering. I feel bad about it. I have never actually gotten through one full cyber. Some just want me to meet up with them somewhere and i am like yeah right! But i keep thinking evil thought. Like i just broke up with my boyfriend well he broke up with me like 4 months ago and now i am thinking wouldn't it be so kinky to call him up on my 18th birthday or when i am 18 and say come to this hotel and f*** my brains out... and i imagine it in my head. Us not speaking at all ... only having sex. It scares me. Also i was almost tempted to getting a marine guy to come up to my house and take me to his house so he could do me. But of course i would never 1. have the balls to do that and 2. have the sense not to do that but i am so horny... and i think that later on in life i wil do that and that makes me sad and makes me ashamed that i would be like that and that i like the whole i don't know you let's f*** thing fantacy...even having the fantacies that i sometimes have of 5, 4, 3, or 2 guys doing me at the same time... i get ashamed. I can't stop it though. It turns me on so much and i cumm a lot. It makes me ashamed and sad... i feel like i am imprisoned in a perverted mind and that is all that iam ... aperverted mind and not a funny, shy, nice, strong, pretty girl no! i jsut see myself as perverted and i like it .
I feel that my parent will know i cyber or someone else will. I get ashamed with anything related to sex and get sad. I cry when i use my vibrator cuz i am ashamed of the things i think and also realizing i am a sexual being and should be proud of it but i am not. When i try to orgasm it feel werid when i hear myself instead of just enjoying it. I am imprisioned and i cannot get out. I am imprisioned in thinking i am a bad girl and liking it... it is like as if i feel that i am werid.
Fri, 12/26/2003 - 04:51
#1
Ashamed of fantasies
Have you ever heard the gossipers talking about the loose girls that do all sort of bad nasty sex things & how awful it is when one of them got pregnant as punishment for what she did. Then when you are about to get married you are advised to please your husband by doing all those naughty sexy things to please him & all of sudden it is a blessing to have a baby. Sex is not bad nor is it bad thinking about it. Respect yourself & save yourself for the right guy. Some guy is going to be very lucky to have girl with the urges & imagination you have. You can both fantasize & play act together.
Wow! You are being WAY too hard on yourself.
First of all, there is no such thing as "normal". Be yourself. Let someone else drive themselves crazy trying to figure out what normal is.
Fantasies are great. Fantasies are wonderful. There is no danger(pregnancy/disease) and they ALWAYS work out the way you want them to. Enjoy them. And yourself.
Forgive me, I'm old, so I'm not exactly sure what cybering is. I assume is means sort of phone sex on the internet. Again, this is a safe outlet as long as you have commonsense(and it sounds like you do) and don't get pressured into doing anything that YOU don't want to. Also, NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! meet a total stranger anywhere but a public- well lit- place. And ALWAYS! ALWAYS! ALWAYS! make sure someone knows where you are going and the name and description of the person you are going to be with.
Unfortunately, we are made to feel guilty about anything to do with sex. All I can say to that is decide for yourself what is right and forget what others want you to think. Play safe, know what you are getting into, and consider all the consequences and do what feels right to you.
Sex is suppose to be fun. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Take care of yourself.
WOW...You definately sound like a frustrated teenager. But let me reassure you that you in nooo way are a perv. Everyone in this world has at least one fantasy that gets them revved up-EVERYONE. I noticed that you called yourself a pervert and said you were ashamed of yourself a total of 7 times. At the same time you say that you are a very sexual person by nature. So you definately have some internal conflict going on. You know, "I love the feeling I have when I do this, but I hate myself for doing it" thing. Conflicted. I know how you feel...I often used to feel that way, too. Then I realized that I would rather have my fantasies rather than go out and bring home anything and everything
You also mention that you worry that you might act out these fantasies when you got older. My advice to you on that is to not get caught up in something that may not ever happen. I used to worry about things I has no control over and that made me miserable. When I learned NOT to do that, I became a much happier person.
Lastly, I have to give you props about inviting your EX to be w/ you on your 18th b-day. If it were me and I had been the one that was dumped, sure I'd invite him and just not show up. But hey...I can be a spiteful biahtch!!!
And just in case you did not know...YOU ARE A NORMAL TEENAGER!!!!!