OK this might be long.
I know a girl and we get on great problem is we are in different countries for the next four months so we can't be together, it's a bit complicated to put we are and aren't together I we both know we aren't looking for anybody else but we have not declared ourselves an "item".
Well last summer this girl came to stay with me for 2 weeks. We had a go at sex once but she didn't feel like it in the end and so we didn't do it then and after that we got so much interference that we couldn't try again.
I will be going to see her in a week and thankfully we will be alone so will have time and space to ourselves.
We are both virgins. Last time we tried I let her take control as I didn't want her to feel pressurized into anything and she is slightly more experienced than me, but I did notice that she did not allow much time for her arousal after a little kissing, breast massaging and clitoral stimulation etc she was expecting to be ready for entry. And she was not I don't know if this was the reason why she wanted to stop or whether she was just not sure of "us" at the time (it was only the second day we spent together).
Well anyway now that I'm pretty sure she does want it I want to take a little more control myself next time.
my questions are:
1. when she is aroused enough for entry will her labia be parted exposing her vagina ? I mean they should not be "shut" at this point like normally should they ? I remember once I rubbed her when we were in the sea and she said she was opening up and that perhaps I should stop (in case water got in) and once we were lying outside and I rubbed her through her trousers and I'm sure her labia had parted so perhaps her closure is due to nervousness ?
2. In order to increase her arousal I want to try and stop her from rushing into it, is this the correct approach ? what I mean is if she starts almost immediately pushing my hand down to her crotch should I follow her indication or would it be ok to set a slower pace and lets say tease her a bit in order to increase her arousal would this work ?
thanks for reading all that
Your first question; she has to spread her legs or raise a leg for the outer labia to open. Think about it, when a woman stands the outer labia protect the inner labia not to cause irritation or friction.
Second question; I would slow her down and have some fun! If you have waited this long go through all the great foreplay. There is nothing wrong with you setting the pace!
Good luck!
[QUOTE=sera300;173295]Your first question; she has to spread her legs or raise a leg for the outer labia to open. Think about it, when a woman stands the outer labia protect the inner labia not to cause irritation or friction.[/QUOTE]
So the labia do not "naturally" open or relax when aroused ? what if her legs are open and her outer labia are still closed
[QUOTE=sera300;173295]
Second question; I would slow her down and have some fun! If you have waited this long go through all the great foreplay. There is nothing wrong with you setting the pace!
Good luck![/QUOTE]
Yes ok I will try and control it, I have 0 experience I've only ever made out with her. she has had one previous bf but they only made out from what she told me (I know he did not want sex but thats not my problem)
The outer labia only spread when the legs are spread or if she bends at the knees, putting her feet flat like on the bed and her knees have to go apart letting them rest outward rather then inward. Then the inner portion of the vulva will be exposed. If the outer labia are still closed she still needs to spread more or pick a leg up at the knee (so the knee is toward the ceiling) and place her foot flat on the bed or drop this one knee outward. I find it easiest and less uncomfortable if I lye on my side facing him when we are kissing. Then take my leg which is the top one and either put it over his hip or point the one knee (usually my left b/c I am on my right side) upward to the ceiling and keep the knee bent and place my foot flat on the bed.
Have you ever seen the positions for a pelvic exam for a woman? That is a bit exaggerated but the reason is to allow the doc full access for an exam.
Another thing is to slide our fingers in slightly and gently touch her, most women will respond by opening their legs or moving to allow you to touch!
hm so basically the outer labia are the same before and after arousal and are no indication of arousal, what can I take a sign of arousal ie: time for penetration.
the other ting is i know she is nervous because she is a small body frame and is worried about it hurting and I am 6.5 X 5 inchs so she may have a point I know that vagina's adapt but I don't want to hurt her
During arousal the labia swell and then return to the natural state afterward. How do you tell? She will let you know after a lot of foreplay she should be pretty wet.
Keep lube near it makes it easier.
Having a small frame is not a problem, with any woman you just have to go in slowly and not push it too fast or to hard, watch the expressions on her face.
hm anything reassuring I can tell her ? I know she trusts me, The only thing I could say last time she mentioned her/my size is that I had read here that 95 % of vagina's will accept 95 % of penises
I cannot think of anything you can tell her, it's pretty normal to wonder (her)but just reassure her you will be gentle. What you said is true about the 95% rule.
is the shortest possible finger nails best for manual stimulation ?
Keep them short and no sharp edges...use an emery board if you need to smooth the edge! Test them by running them over your face....