New member to the forum, first serious boyfriend -- please be gentle with me. ;)
So essentially my problem is this: I've been scouring the internet for answers to my question and have come up with nothing -- I'm trying just to find something I can do to my boyfriend that he'll enjoy, that's still quasi-innocent (what I mean by this is that we're just starting to get more physical, and I don't think I'm quite ready yet to give him a hand-job, which seems to the most innocent thing the internet has to offer me at this moment) -- is this just something I should know? Was I in the bathroom when they passed out this pamphlet? ;P
He's a sweetie, and he's /tremendously/ good at making me feel good, so I'd really like to be able to return the favour. But I don't even know where to start, so I tend to freeze up a little, which definintely isn't fair to him.
Any suggestions at all would be very, very much appreciated!
If you do not wish to appear forward (overtly sexual) with him...wait until your kissing and slightly grind/press against his groin...pants against pants. See how he responds. I doubt you missed that pamphlet...they forgot to pass them out!
Agreed.
Or you could feel him up through his clothes while you are making out. I'm sure he will lead you from there.
Grinding against him while clothed seems to be the advice ;-)
Grinding is good...but I would have to say that another good thing (and will let you get more comfortable sexually) feel him up while making out, and just go with the flow as you get more comfortable...start with above the pants....and as thing starts going and you get comfortable you can move more and more....
play with his nipples, nibble his neck and gently lick his ears,not leaving gobs of saliva, but tonguing(sp) his ears..he'll have a raging erection,he then will NOT so innocently throw you down and have his way with you!! ROFLMAO...I'm joking...about the last sentence,,that's just the way I would feel!! Nice question!! breath of fresh air!!
Wait you mean your not supposed to throw your girlfriend on the bed and have your way with them when you have a raging erection...What about monstrous hardon? :p
its all about kissing and being just aggressive enough to make him think,...or better yet imagine the possibilities. feed/fuel off your own hidden desires and see if they spark an interest in him as well. its a starting point
Or you can just skip starting in 1st and shoot straight to 5th gear. Just gain a load of self confidence, show up at his house naked covered in whip cream and have him lick it all off of you...
Sounds more like for your pleasure but trust me....It would be just as pleasurable for him as it would you lol.
If you just lay down in stone what you will and won't do. Bra and knickers are a good line in the sand.Keep them on and make crystal cleard he's to keep his hands outside.
To be honest the best part of sex is the cuddling before and after IMHO, so enjoy it. Get used to keeping a handle on a horny guy (its a life skill) and when you do decide to have sex you won't have nearly as many hiccups.
You're probably hearing a lot of nonsense from your friends, and people in here - ignore them. Having sex doesn't really improve your insight into life. don't get drunk and then start snogging, make a date ask him flat out if he wants to come round just to snog. This helps make things very clear. Theres nothing wrong with giving him a few compliments and making him feel more manly. If he does something right let him know.
If anything embarressing happens don't make an issue of it, if he does come in his shorts don't hummilliate him take it as a compliment. and if you're feeling horny yourself there's nothing to stop you sorting yourself out discreetly which is easier if the lights are out.
Have a little fun, the fact that you've chosen to wait will help you avoid any sordid experience. good luck
Sarah...I would have to think it is a boyfriend, so it wouldnt be a hook up sorta situation. And were all just joking with geek, She just wants something innocent btw, so there definitely is no sex...We was just jokin around with her.
Geek honestly I think the best and most honest advice is...Do what your comfy with..If its just coppin a feel do it...If its hands down the pants...go ahead...anything can be innocent in the right way...I mean sex could be totally innocent (sorta) if its outta curiosity...and a hand job could be quasi innocent as you say...
Okay - enough silliness. If even a 'hand-job' is too much for you let's start by being SUBTLE. Lightly yet lingeringly with just the slightest hint of tongue tip kiss the outer corner of his eye. This is "the eye kiss" and its highly effective. Another "not to forward" thing to do is "the finger caress", This is where you place your hand over his, with your fingers stretched out but between his and you gently slide your fingers back and forth, slowly now, along his. Every now and again move over one 'slot' and continue.
These moves may seem too little, but trust me, they send powerful messages to the recipient and mark you as a sensuous lover. I've had men friends in their 40's tell me they are EXTREMELY effective when seducing women they find attractive and I have been known to use them too.
I have others if you'd care to know more.
First of all, thank you everyone for the varied advice and the much-needed bit of silliness. It never hurts to remember that this is all supposed to be, you know, a good time. ;)
Second -- that's /exactly/ what I was looking for EvilEvilKitten! I would very much appreciate any similar advice you may have -- I'd like to be able to master the "little things" and build up my confidence so that I'll be able to attempt some of the "bigger" things without turning bright red and giggling (which, although my boyfriend assures me is adorable now, will not remain adorable forever. ;))
Last, but not least, thanks all for not scaring off the slightly embarrassed geek girl. I (and the boyfriend, I'm sure) appreciate it. :D
Geekgirl np, hun - always willing to help.
Now then get yourself an anatomy book and pay close attention to the nervous system. Note the location of nexi - those bundled areas where nerves join up. the nape of the neck is one - for example. Another thing to note: areas where there are LOTS of nerves leading to increased sensitivity such as the lips, hands, feet, groin. These areas can be gently yet persistently caressed in a sensuous manner to great effect.
Learn to kiss both "wet" and "dry". One of the most erotic kisses you can give a man on his lips is a dry, barely felt, sliding across his lips kiss that promises delight to come. Shoudl you wish, continue this along his jawline back and down toward the side of his neck. Gently, gently - then lightly wet kiss the side of his neck and breathe onto the same spot to evaporate the moisture before moving around to the nape of his neck and firmly plant a wet kiss right there. If he does NOT shudder with delight - you haven't made the contrast strong enough; moving from dry to wet and from gentle to firm.
Please note: he doesn't have to do anything except feel. Have him close his eyes and feel. Also note that this is all above the waist.
In order of progression, I'd recommend the finger caress, then the eye kiss, and then the program I just outlined above.
In case you are wondering, yes this is Body Worship for Beginners.
Geekgirl - you will notice that when YOU are the "active" person, your confidence increases. Never be shy about taking charge or providing guidance. Sex is a partnership.