Hey, I just thought I'd share my story about Performance Anxiety and how I conquered it, maybe it'll give hope to those who have none. I'm 18 and I've been having sex for several years now without any problems, however there was about a 3 month period where I was in between girlfriends and had nothing except myself. Well then I start dating this beautiful girl, however she didnt want to have sex right away because she wanted to develop a solid relationship first (a VERY good idea by the way). Well I developed strong feelings for this girl and after a few more months were ready to go. Or so I thought. Yep, when she was finally ready, I couldn't get it up in front of this gorgeous girl laying spread in front of me. It embarassed me on an almost suicidal level, and she wasn't very happy, using lines such as "well my other boyfriends never had any problems" (she has since apologized by the way). And it happened again. And again. And... again. 3 times. I sought out help online, I tried not to think about it when it was happening, I tried EVERY single solution to fix this mental issue. Nothing worked. Well it was then that I realized that during those months without sex, I had grown rather fond of my right hand. I would usually masturbate every other day, nothing too frequent. But I figured it was worth a shot, so I stopped. Well, within about a week I was DYING. But I didn't give in. And finally, after about 2 weeks of the cold treatment, my lil buddy worked exactly how he was supposed to. And of course, not having done anything in 2 weeks, it was GOOD.... And anxiety and nervousness wasn't even an issue because I wanted it soooo bad, it simply blocked out all those bad thoughts.... Anyways, in conclusion, if your having erection problems, I suggest you just leave yourself alone! Let it build up for a while, and by the time your girl's asking for you to stick it in, you'll be so fired up you wont even have time to think about being nervous before your lettin' her have it. Of course it may not work for everyone, but this is a true story and if you find yourself trapped in that awful circle of Performance Anxiety, it's worth a shot, right? Sorry for the long post by the way. :)
Tue, 11/07/2006 - 23:06
#1
To anyone who has erection trouble...
Performance anxiety gets worse the more you think of it. So the more it happens, the more you think of it, and the worse it gets.
Vicious circle. Just have to relax, TALK to her and explain what's happening, and make sure to maximize the chance of a successful erection. You can do that by doing what this poster did, by not having an orgasm for an extended period of time, or by taking supplements or drugs to make sure you can. Once you do it even successfully once all of the anxiety disappears.
I'm a recreational ED drug user, I take a bit before a first encounter with a new woman just to make 100% sure there won't be complications. After that I'm comfortable.