Hi Im not really new to sex, I had sex for the first time 3 years ago. I am in my first real relationshp though at the moment and it is the first time i have had sex on a regular basis. My problem is that I ejaculate so damn easily, it is horrible and makes me feeel like complete crap. I am older than my girlfriend and im supposed to be more experienced and all that but I cant even control when I ejaculate and its really embarrassing. I figured I would just explain the whole sitution here to paint a better picture.
First off I pre-cum like no tomorow, like before we even do anything really. Just making out or close contact through clothes is enough to make me pre-cum. Then when it comes time to having sex I can feel that Im not going to last long right away. I try going really slow to ease into it and get used to the sensation but even that just feels like its exaggerating the feeling and worsens my problem. This bothers me so much that the other day when we were about to have sex I went upstairs to get a condom and went into the bathroom to masterbate thinking that this would make me be able to last longer. First off this was a huge mistake because then i couldnt even get a full erection when we tried to have sex. I did get a semi and we started having sex but still i only lasted maybe a minute. Later on that night we were laying on the bed and she was playing with my penis. I had a full erection this time. She wasnt even jerking me off, just playing with it and stroking it. There was no precum or anything until right before i was about to cum. I didnt want let her know i was about to cum from just playing with it like that so i made her stop. What this made me think about was the correlation between the timing of pre-cum and actual ejaculation. It seems that for me atleast pre-cum almost imediately proceeds ejaculation. Since i pre-cum almost imediately after coming incontact with my gf i have no idea how to fix this problem.:confused:
Does anyone have advice or input on my situation ?? I would really appreciate it because this REALLY bothers me and I need to fix it. Thanks for reading all of this!
Well, the label you picked for the thread indicates you are aware that there are many, many threads on this same topic. Having read them, what do you wish us to add?
You can be certain that you are more stressed about this than she is. There is a "movement" today led by a book on ladies first or some such. Get her off before you try to get in or between your ejaculations and things should become less stressul. Most women need more stimulation than simply penile thrusting, anyway, so figure out how to please her.
Start masturbating a lot, when she's not around of course. Maybe once or twice a day, that will desensitize you a bit.
i had the same problem
i fixed it in s fun manner
masterbate as much as u can :P
beware tho it can make it hard to get a hard on
[QUOTE=Brandye;170441]Well, the label you picked for the thread indicates you are aware that there are many, many threads on this same topic. Having read them, what do you wish us to add?
.[/QUOTE]
LOL
Indeed!
Both questions have threads under the Sexual Health Mens forum
The sticky by Dancing Doc of Squeeze Technique
And 5-6 threads below that is one abour Pre-cum and men discussing how some have none, a little, or a lot.
yes Im aware that some men have none, a little, or alot, but I have an absurd amount. It CANNOT be normal, it just constantly leaks out while she is playing with me, doesn't stop.
I guess what I am trying to figure out from this thread is just what you all think about my situation. Could this just be something that will go away in time or is it something I should see a doctor for.
In regard to the idea of masterbating to fix this problem, I recently stopped pretty much completely because i read somewhere that doing it too much can cause 'seminal leakage' which seemed to be what I am experiencing. You are saying to do the opposite??
I really think that the pre-cum or seminal leakage, whatever it may be, is related to premature ejaculation. I also think it has psychological roots because i actually start 'leaking' before much physical contact at all. Maybe just the thought of it does something to me that I dont even realize. IDk what to think anymore, I've had so many different thoughts about this and nothing I do seems to change anything.
I have seen men who ooze frequently and in large amounts...can say I have loved it. But the issue of ejaculating too quickly & not being able to control it, I would honestly talk to a urologist about it. I am not a man, I've been around the block a few times, and I can say only one man in particular tried too hard to control is ejaculation and did the opposite--he had too much difficulty getting there. Other's it would vary...occasionally it just happened to quickly but all were able to hold it off by stopping intercourse and focusing on me for a bit, then when resumed, they would go back to where they were. Honestly I would see the doctor, it may help ease your mind too. Also, if you have a good relationship w/your girlfriend I would talk to her about what's happening and how you feel. Women do understand...
> Im aware that some men have none, a little, or alot, but I have an absurd amount. It CANNOT be normal, it just constantly leaks out while she is playing with me, doesn't stop.
Precum, in addition to cleansing and preparing the urethra for the passage of sperm also acts as a lubricant. Its appearance as with vaginal mucus also signals a person's initial arousal, yet is not to be taken as a signal that s/he is ready for sex. For those of us who do not ooze a lot of it, the solution serves simply as an initial albeit temporary lubricant.
From your description it would seem that you have the benefit of having a lubricant that you can count on throughout much of or all of your sex play. This can be a good thing so do not make this into something it's not. At the very least you do not have to purchase a commercial product, or, make up a homebrew lube, or, go through the "trouble" of applying it! This all sounds like pluses to me.
Pete, you have to do some homework on these two topics. One absolutely has nothing to do with the other.
> > I really think that the pre-cum or seminal leakage, whatever it may be, is related to premature ejaculation. I also think it has psychological roots because i actually start 'leaking' before much physical contact at all.
Precum makes an appearance as a result of an initial level of arousal. A guy can be turned on from all sorts of inputs like the sight of a woman across the mall, a photo in a catalog, a store manequin {dressed or not), smells, taste, randy thoughts, a conversation with someone, etc. We do not need or require physical stimulation to cause it, although of course this will bring it about, also.
The body does not necessarily know at this early stage whether it will be having sex, so to hedge the bet, it prepares the urethra for possible passage of sperm. The main task of precum is to cleanse the urethra of impurities toxic to sperm. The secondary job is as an initial lubricant for use on the surface of the penis.
That you produce copious amounts of it just means you have a lot more lubricant available longterm. Will is lessen? Don't know. Should you see a doctor? I rather doubt it.
Premature Ejaculation is a whole 'nother matter. This has more to do with a lack of communication between mind and body. More often than not a guy in his teens to mid-twenties suffers from PE because he has yet to associate those sensations that immediately preceed an orgasm with it. The result is the orgasm literally sneeks up and surprises him and he is powerless to prevent it once he realizes what is about to occur. The trick is to learn to learn how to associate those sensations and then to keep a portion of our consciousness alert while on the road to Nirvana. There is a Skicky post on this.
Simply you have never had this problem and don't know the problem this guy is having with PE. The problem he has is simply uncontrolable. Once the precum starts its over for him. I have been all over the internet looking for a solution for myself.I am going to work on getting my mussles stronger by doing kegles. I have been on several different medications that might have caused my mussles to get a little weaker. If it works I will post the results in a few weeks.
Hereyago. I just replied to another thread with the fix.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/23765-finishing.html
No I think your nuts. THis guys thread is actually a bit confusing in my honest opinion. He says that pre-cum immediately proceeds ejaculation...umm yea would be pre cum if it proceeds ejacualtion, it would be ejaculant. Yes you have an absurd amount of precum...ok. It doesnt mean that there is anything wrong, and go to a doctor to ease your mind. I mean I have a certain amount of pre-cum if i just make out. Hell I would get it from holding a girls hand...and it would be a good amount.
Dont be embarassed about coming just from her playing with it. I mean I am a guy, but if I could get a girl off simply by playing with her parts for a little bit, I would take it as a compliment. I mean sera...wouldnt you feel special if you had a man who you could get off so easily? I mean knowing you can turn your man to jell-o with little to no work?
One last thing, you cum quickly...well you said it yourself you finally get to have sex on a regular basis. So your still not used to it. Give it a lot of time....not three or four session. I mean when I first started masturbating, boom...done no problem. About 2 maybe 3 months of straight masturbation at least once...but usually twice a day, and I was lasting quite a while. In fact I had to stop a couple times cuz my arms would get tired lol.