Those are some good points there. I will admit, that I may be trigger-happy when it comes to what I percieve as pre-canned responses... and yes, there is merrit to the idea that it 'may' be beneficial in 'some' circumstances to share physical insight regarding penetration.

Your point is well made.

thnx.

Well, Oberon was right when he said my post was MORE about the shock value that really candid advice. I mean, his post is titled "ANAL, I DO, SHE DON'T".

Unfortunately, it's just another example of how men, too often, think about their needs first - ie: it feels good to f*** my girlfriends ass, so she should want to give me pleasure by allowing me to do it ..um wrong.

So, my post was ment to be more a rhetorical point, than candid advice.

That said, HUNG, i DO belive that there are MANY kinds of sexual activity that can involve "trying" things that both can enjoy. Obviously, both men and women have an anus. Therefore, each can try and explore that sexual activty and get a 1st hand experience. ANd as i said before, i guarantee if she used a toy on his ass, the way he first tried to have anal with her, he'd scream and run to the bathroom too - and NOT be too interested in trying it again!

You asked, would it change the woman's feelings about trying anal sex if you (or that fictitious person) engaged in anal sex with a man (or a toy) as a way of learning about how it "felt"?

Having counseled many str8 couples on this topic..the answer was a RESOUNDING YES from the women. All of the women who used a toy on their husband remarked how much their HUSBAND/PARTNER's attitued changed about not only anal sex, but any kind of penetrative sex. The guys all were a bit more humble, and came to understand that there's more to sex then just jamming their hard cock in her mouth, anus or vagina. While it's not for everyone, I think the more couples explore sexual thoughts, fantasies, and boundaries together, the happier and healthier sex lives they will enjoy!

I think Rawbob was reacting to the tone of the original post which seemed to suggest that she was being unreasonable in not giving him anal when he REALLY wants it.

I think it was a "shoe on the other foot" intention.

Of course, if he does try it and likes it, then we are sort of back where we started in that she still may not want to ...hmmm....
Maybe he'll like it so much that he will forget about doing it to her and want her to do it to him.  You think??

Hng
i think the point is..is that a guy might be less likely to insist or constantly BEG his g/f to have anal if he in fact knew how painful/uncomfortable it could be.
anal is really the only thing that a couple can do thats the same thing either way. otherwise its different for both people.
its the point that yes intercourse, oral, and kissing feels good. anal can sometimes but it also has the potential to hurt. thats how it stands out from the rest.
or at least thats how i read the statement lol
besides kids that are 14 shouldn't really be even thinking about anal. there's plenty of stuff for them to do.

Point--- anal should be more pleasurable for a man. He has a prostate....women don't.

Demonbuttercup, although I tend to agree about the age thing, at least this way they don't end up pregnant.... however you can still spread or contract STDs so I hope you guys know you should still be using a condom.

Demon... don't get me wrong... I fully understand the INTENT of the statement... but I was just focussing on the delivery. I think it's more direct and clear to state: "I think it is too painful for me and I don't enjoy it" than to say "Not until you try it".

That's all. I think most of us are fully capable of understanding the true reasons for not wanting to do something without tacking-on a tandem subject revolving around whether or not the other person has experienced it or not.

I mean no offense to you, personally, Rawbob... but I guess I get tired of people's responses that say "You can't expect _ if you never tried it yourself"

I don't have a vagina, but it's a safe assumption that a majority of heterosexual experiences involve intercourse... do I need to have been poked in the vagina to have a desire to try it...? Do I need to perform oral on a man's penis before I should ever expect to receive oral from a woman...? Do I need to tongue-kiss a man before a woman can tongue kiss me...? No.

And let's put that theory to a test. Let's say I asked a woman to engage in anal... and the response was "Don't try asking me until you've tried it yourself"... and so, I (or the fictitious person) enters their own anal cavity with a dildo... or even more graphic... engages in anal sex with another man... now... is having that experience... be it good or bad for the man... going to change IN ANY WAY the mind of the woman who made that statement...? NO! She's still going to feel the same way.

"Oh... you HAVE had anal penetration...? Oh, then I must have been wrong... let's go do it right now...!"

My point is... there is no benefit to the statement or even in the REALITY of saying "If you haven't, don't ask me". It's irrelevant.

If she doesn't want it... she doesn't want it... if he DOES want it, he does. They can mutually decide no to act on his desire, but he has just as much right to DESIRE to do it as she has NOT to.

Again... I'm not picking directly on YOU, Rawbob... just the recurring comment that many people make similar to the one you did.

Peace...

Hahahaha...Rawbob!  I actually saw that one coming!

I almost wrote something very similar as part of my post.   But I'm pretty sure how it will be received- maybe I should have said it anyway.

Ktman, if you do decide to give it a try, the same rules apply to you:  Take it slowly.  Use lubrication (a lot).  Start with a finger and work up.

If you are adventurous enough to try this, you might enjoy it.  Correctly stimulating the prostate can cause an intense orgasm.

And I'd be curious to hear what happens if you do.

Perhaps you should let your girlfriend use a dildo or vibrator that matches your size and lenght and use it on you anally? Until you've tried it yourself, it's tough to expect her to "take it" unless you've tried yourself!

Demonbuttercup is absolutely correct.  Anal is something most people have to work up to....slowly.  Even then not everyone likes it.  Talk to her about it, but if she's not interested then she's not interested.  Ultimately: her body, her decision.

ok maybe its just me.
but i think anal should be left to the more experienced of people.
you each have to trust eachother completely.
you have to be very patient and very slow or yes it will be EXTREMELY painful.
never just start having anal. work her up first. maybe fingering her ass a little to get it used to having something in it. its a process you have to work up too.
like the others said, use LOTS of lube. if she still isn't receptive to the idea, don't pressure her. if she wants to eventually , she'll come around. theres no rush.

if she doesn't want to do that, you have to respect that.

my guy is very much an anal guy. however, i don't want it. i'm not an anal person and he respects that.
however we have compromised. i want oral, and he doesn't give that. so we've somewhat made an agreement that he will give me oral and when i am ready, i will let him do anal on me.

so if you reaaaallllyyyyyyy really want to give anal to her, then see if you can come up with a compromise for it.
but if she still doesn't want to do it, then respect that and don't.

You have to respect that, but.. one thing you can try is using LUBE.. if you didnt.. that could be why it hurt alot.. but then again.. i would think.. anything going up there would. but Yip you just kinda gotta respect her wishes on that one, but talk to her and see why she doesnt want to?