hi there, it was my first time trying anal sex last night, and it was terrible!!! My boyfriend and i have been going on 3 years now, and for 3 years he would not go on fair rides cause he was too chicken. He really wants anal and i really wanted tyo experience rides with my love, so i made a compromise. but now he went on the rides, and that night we tried anal sex...it was really bad it hurt and it constantly felt like i had to go to the washroom ( not a sexy feeling). I ended up not being able to let him finish cause it was so uncomfortable, and i started crying from pain, he said that we will do it again tonight, but i really dont want to. but now he wont let me back out of it cause we made the deal and he ended up goin ona rollar coaster for the first time. my quesion is what do i do, i dont want to do it again, how can i make him see that tummy butterflies for 1 miute of his life is different than 10 mins of pain and discomfort.
ps he thinks the two things are comparable.
Your boyfriend needs a wake up call on how to manage relationships, he also needs an attitude adjustment in my never to be so humble opinion.
Please read this article:
"Playing Ball" and How To Tips for Prostate Massage
This is also an excellent tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of Anal stimulation as well as play.
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-doc
If it is painful, do not do it. There are many threads on the good and bad of anal sex. No penis has ever entered mine and never will. That is a one way valve - outbound - and is not designed to admit anything. Anal sex does result in damage and the effects may show up decades later. Read around a bit and discuss what you find with him.
Why let him get away with thinking it's comparable when he could *KNOW*. Grab a cucumber and say you first. You've been with this person for three years yet he is comfortable using you as a test dummy for something he knows is very painful and uncomfortable? Stand up for yourself.
You should never bargain around with sexual favors, especially when it involves your anus and all he's got to do is ride a few 60-90 second amusement rides. There is simply no comparrison. Thers's a big differance between psyching yourself up mentally to take a few wild rides on rollercoasters, which for some is an extremely unpleasant and unwanted experience, to being able to accept anal penetration just because someone won a bet. No preporation, probubly no lube, probubly no workup and prior stretching.
I would tell your boyfreind that you made a mistake and that anal sex will not happen tonight or any other night unless you infact want it to happen, not because you owe it to him. Beleive me, you can "back out". You've already made good on your deal and if he insists, show him the door!!! If he persists and gets physically controlling as if to force you, call 911 or however you get in touch with the police and report that he's either attempting or has forced sodomy on you against your will. That will get him about 25 years in the US. Then he'll get to be Bubba's bitch until he's either killed in prison or parroled.
If your boyfreind of 3 years really cares about you he'll understand and not be insistant. Anal sex carries allot of additional risks to you and you'd be wise to look into them. Many websites from the American Cancer Society, The American Association of Gastroentorologist are just two the public can access of many that details the dangers of anal sex. I can't recomend the Hepatologist and Infectious DZ websites because you have to be a credentialed member to read and a medical background to understand the articles, but the effects of anal sex can be pretty nasty and life altering for the stricken. Should YOU decide that anal sex is something YOU want to persue again for YOURSELF, there are allot of rules YOU and YOUR PARTNER has to follow and agree to lessen the negative effects that YOU my friend will have to endure all alone should you fall victim to the many maladies associated with this form of sexual expression.
Friends often encourage friends to explore new areas through "dares" or "bets" but the fundamental rule is:
Friends don't hurt friends.
Your "bf" seems to be taking this as a commercial transaction. He "paid" for your "services" and he expects you to deliver. Well, that means he is treating you as a whore and you have to decide whether that applies to you. If it does, bend over -- otherwise dump the jerk!
GROW A SPINE.
Anal sex is NOT for everyone and if any sex act is NOT FUN then DON'T do it.
It really is just as simple as that. You always have the right to say NO.
You've been together for 3 years and yet he's STILL playing "stupid little boy games" like this? Are you willing to put up with trash like this for the rest of your life? You have some tough questions you have to answer - without him having input btw. It is well past time for you to be asking what do YOU really want your life to be.
Wear a gag and restraints -- you'll soon get used to it.
This is not the type of silly reply that helps. Please, if you cannot write anything constructive, do not write anything at all.
-doc