Hi,
I've only posted once before so starting a topic is a bit new for me, but I really need some advice. I am a 56 year old single man. Been divorced for almost 20 yrs. I have known a lady 17 yrs. younger than me for 12 years or so ,she has 3 kids 2 boys 16 and 15 and a girl 4 yrs. I have to admit that I have beeen in love with her for most of that time. We used to hang out together when neither one of us was dating someone. Now I am retired, but have started a very profitable part time business.She has move about 4 hours away from me. I told her a long time ago that I had loved her during our times together but had never said it before as I didn't want to loose her as a friend. I didn't hear from her for a year after that. Not unusuall for her as she is a bit lackadaisical in calling her friends.
Ok here's my problem, I still love her, her boys and her daughter, hell, I even love the fact that she put 30 pounds on her once spectacular ass, I really don't care about her weight. There is NOTHING I wouldn't to make her happy. So do I tell her again and risk loosing her friendship or do I
move on with my life and accept that maybe she's too young and doesn't want an older guy? Oh by the way, when I told her that I loved her a few years ago she didn't respond in kind but was upset that I had never mentioned it before.
Please be honest ladies (or gents) and don't blow this request off. I'm ripping my hair out (and I spent much too much for transplants to do that 
) Thanks .........
Tue, 05/27/2003 - 01:37
#1
Am I too old for her?
Well, to me age is just a number unless you are getting under the age of 18 then its a big problem, but you can't help what you feel, and if you really do love, her you should tell her, by her response maybe deep down inside of her she likes you to but don't know how to go about it. Just tell her one more time, and see what she says, what's the worst that could happen. I don't think that you will lose the friendship because if you've known each other for that long and you two are true friends then nothing can break that up.
Just try one more time!You tried once but as i could see it didn't work as you wanted so why not to try one more time?!
But don't explode into her face just like that "i love you!".That can scare everyone,so just try slow...romantic always works,nomether if female is girl or older woman!
Try to get in contact slowly and see why she didn't call you one year.Maybe times are not the same like they were before one year...
But as you could figured out.Don't jump into relationship.Take your time!
Thanks ladies, I've been out of circulation for so long I guess I just forgot the basics. Slow and steady wins the race or atleast let's you finish not too bad out of breath... I'll give it a try.. Have a great day.
I always wonder in the back of my mind if I am good for him when he is older then me because I think of how much more experience he has (I'm 21,he is 36) so sometimes I wonder if I am pleasing him the way he likes
Vixen,
If your not making him happy I'm sure he'll tell you. But I don't think there's much to worry about. First off your 21 and he's what 36 you say? Well he's probably on cloud 9 just being in the company of a lady 15 yrs younger than he. I am so in love with a lady 17 years younger than me that although she does not reciprocate my love or my attention when we walk down the street I'm proud to have this beautiful, young woman on my arm. Maybe someday I'll be as lucky as your guy and she'll be able to give to me one tenth of what I give to her. That would make me a happy man..
hang in there and be honest with him. I think that's the most important thing you can do. Keep communications open because when you start keeping things from each other that's when it all starts to come down around you. Good luck kiddo..
well thanks john!
we have a rather strange 'relationship.' some nights he'll call me and say he just wants to be near me and it kind of pressures me because at points, i just want to act and be 21 and not have the whole 'togetherness' ya know? but anyway, the sexual side, everything seems to be good between us. i enjoy it and as far as i know so does he. i only worry from time to time when he compliments me on certain body parts and then throws in the line 'and believe me i have been with alot of women' i hate when he says that it makes me feel like he is constantly comparing me....
[QUOTE=Quote ]we have a rather strange 'relationship.' some nights he'll call me and say he just wants to be near me and it kind of pressures me because at points, i just want to act and be 21 and not have the whole 'togetherness' ya know?[/QUOTE]
HMMM, I wonder about your real feelings in this relationship. I don't understand what you mean by "just wanting to act and be 21 and not have the whole togetherness". On one hand your worried if your keeping him or making him happy but on the other hand you want to play (?)the single thing. Or at least that's how it sounds.
[QUOTE=Quote ]but anyway, the sexual side, everything seems to be good between us. i enjoy it and as far as i know so does he. i only worry from time to time when he compliments me on certain body parts and then throws in the line 'and believe me i have been with alot of women' i hate when he says that it makes me feel like he is constantly comparing me....[/QUOTE]
I would only guess that by saying that he's seen or been with "lots of women" he's IS comparing you and telling you that your attributes are way better than anything he's seen before. Don't be quite so suspicious. He may not have the verbal skills to complement you anyother way. Maybe you could explain to him that it makes you a bit uncomfortable when he compares you to his other women. Or maybe he really has not seen or been with that many women and he's just trying to convince you that he has. I guess what I'm saying is, it's probably an ego thing with him , mentioning the "other" women. Tell him that it bothers you and see what happens.
I might be wrong but I don't think so, and telling him its not your favorite thing to hear can't hurt.. Hang in there.....
[QUOTE=Quote (Stephanie083099 @ May 26 2003,20:21)]Well, to me age is just a number unless you are getting under the age of 18 then its a big problem, but you can't help what you feel, and if you really do love, her you should tell her, by her response maybe deep down inside of her she likes you to but don't know how to go about it. Just tell her one more time, and see what she says, what's the worst that could happen. I don't think that you will lose the friendship because if you've known each other for that long and you two are true friends then nothing can break that up.[/QUOTE]
I fully agree with her.
Well ........... I did it. I told her... She had no comment and has not called me in about 2 weeks. So I guess I got my answer, it may not have ben the one I wnated but atleast I know where I am. Now I can put things into perspective and get on with things... Thanks all so much for the help... I owe u all one..