I guess the first question for you is... are you a virgin?
do your conversations with him become sexual or is that just your fantasy?

it definitely sounds like he has a girlfriend or even a wife if he only contacts you during 'work hours' and not when he has free time. Do the calls and/or texts fall off at night too, or pick back up late night (when his SO might be asleep)

ask yourself if you'll be ok with being his second, or being his fling, then you might consider it, but if you're looking for a relationship from him, you might not get it. There's also the chance that he's doing all of this for his own ego and that you won't see or hear much from him, once you do have sex with him.

There are plenty of willing single men that want to have sex with you. Why get yourself involved in some serious drama? I'm also getting mixed messages from you. Your not sure if you want to get involved with someone you won't have a committed relationship with, then you say he has the right tool for you right now. Do you just want sex or a relationship? You can ask him up front if he has someone else, but I think u should stick with your intuition that he does. Where do you live, small town, big city? If you don't have any guy friends that you can trust why not check out a swinger community/bar whatever. EEK would have the most info on that. And why can't you buy a sex toy?

Hahaha yes I knew what what you meant when referring to his "tool." yeah well go ahead and go to a sex store and get what you want. I understand what you mean about where you live. Do you live close enough to Boston or any other big city? Should be able to find someone right? If you want my opinion this guy isn't worth his experience if drama is attached to it.

No, stay a virgin. This has nothing to do with him and yes, he does have someone else in the background.

You are not ready for sex.

1. worthy of me - a very bad sign
2. give myself - an even worse sign
3. fearing what others will say - more bad news
4. fearing to get your emotions involved - which is half the fun

When you are ready for sex, you won't give two hoots in Hades what someone else thinks or says. The desire overcomes the fear. Also when you're ready you realise that your vagina is not made of gold - calm the ego, dear. "Give myself to him" - yegods, you sound like a romance novel.

You're 24 years old and have wasted a lot of time you should have spent learning. Please do not waste any more time searching for the entirely mythical "One". For how to meet men - there's a thread here on just that topic.

* A girl states: I am 16, 18, 20, 22 and he is 21, 24, 26, 30, or some other expansive age difference.

* A girl states: "but I love him...." **
+ We have so much in common
+ We spend hours on the telephone/texting
+ We have never met in person and it's been nearly two years
+ He wants to marry me
+ I've sent him nude pictures, do you think that's OK
+ He tells me what we'll do sexually when we first meet up
+ He wants me to travel to where he lives as soon as possible

[quote=EEK]You're 24 years old and have wasted a lot of time you should have spent learning. Please do not waste any more time searching for the entirely mythical "One". For how to meet men - there's a thread here on just that topic. [/quote]

How to Meet Men

Our point being, that with such vast age differences, you are not only on different "pages" in life, you are in different "chapters" when it comes to life lessons and experiences.

** It is not enough that you are in love (lust?) with a total stranger. "Love" does not make everything A-OK. The problem with these vast age differences is that he has experienced more of life, has learned some important lessons that you have yet to grasp, learned to be on his own, has become an autonomous adult (meaning he has lived on his own, can take care of day to day obligations, plan ahead, and as important, has a more realistic perspective of life than does the younger person.

The teenage years are a decade long. The transformation from child to adult does not end with the end of puberty! The next stages of development are mental and emotional. As a major part of this is the fact that a person's brain is not fully developed until sometime during the 21st year! As part of a person's maturation is the experiential aspect: you should not jump straight from your bed to his without learning how to live on your own. This means, learning how to cook, clean, budget, save, and manage these tasks as well as others. This also means acquiring a perspective of yourself and your place in the world that comes from living alone (or with roommates), working, getting an education beyond high school, perhaps traveling (even if only weekend getaways), and, interacting with other people. In short, becoming both more responsible for yourself and potentially others, and, becoming more "worldly" as an individual.

When it comes to the latter, the best way is thru dating lots of different people. Dating should not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. Dating should be all about having fun, learning about other people and their ideas, goals, quirks, objectives, likes, dislikes, morals, values, interests, potential compatibility, etc., in order to help determine when Mr./Ms. Right comes along.

It is important to know and understand that there is more to being compatible with one another than just being in love--or worse, in love with the idea of being in love--as in some romance novel. During the days prior to computers, children began interacting with others by being "pen pals" with people in distant places. With the advent of computers, we can correspond electronically in different formats. For the past twenty years I've been "computer pals" with a man 600 miles away. (If you do the math, this began before the internet, when computers were tied together via electronic "bulletin boards".)

Do I know him? Yes, yet only from what he tells me and thru our discussions of this, that, and, the other. Are we compatible? Only on this elementary level. During this time we have met in person four times when he and/or his family have passed thru Sacramento. Could we cohabit as roommates if single? Maybe yes, maybe no; ya just gotta spend a lot of time together, first and foremost, and keep your head out of the clouds, so to speak.

Bottom Line: If you wish to establish a friendship via the internet, keep it real. This means attempting to establish and nurturing a friendship.

If you wish to establish a deeper more meaningful relationship then you should very much do so in person with someone within an hour's drive from you; otherwise what's the point? You have to be able to see and interact with each other on a regular basis in order to become less than total strangers. Who a person purports to be in writing or via a webcam can be vastly different than what comes across face-to-face and up close and personal, with ongoing touchy-feely get togethers. With the former, people tend not to let their hair down, with the latter, letting one's hair down and being vulnerable and open is important when determining likes, dislikes, and, compatibility--then, just maybe, loving and later being in love.

Reading about love in some romance novel is great entertainment and a diversion, but when it comes to real life, girls, ya just gotta get real.

Yes, and that's all well and good but then you get too good at saying NO and, face it, no gravestone ever said "wish I'd spent more time at work".

And exactly WHY do you deserve to be up on a pedestal?

Being on a pedestal has very little to do with being an all-around good person etc. etc. Being on a pedestal means being worshipped to the extent that you're never permitted to be human. The Goddess/Whore syndrome comes to mind. I don't think that you actually do respect yourself and your body - rather you respect an idealized version of yourself and your body, hence the pedestal.

Before we go further, definitions are in order. One deserves civility simply by virtue of being human but one must earn respect.

One does not earn respect by being "frozen in time" which seems to me to be where you are now.

Don't you think there is some truth in this idea?

Well, I'd say there's nothing wrong with having the attitude of "Because I'm worth it". There are some that take it to extremes, yes. But a lot of us have troubles being simply proud of ourselves, loving ourselves, accepting who we are. Tataa, I think you should follow your senses. And with the particular guy you refer to, it seems to me you made the decision that felt best to you. So; good for you! Just be careful to not let your heart freeze up by fear. Instead of defending your worth, you should be living from your own strength and worth. You understand what I mean? I know; it's harder to put into practice than just speaking out the words. But it's a start :)

Personally; I wouldn't worry about having wasted any time at age 24. The whole world is yours! Everything can be changed and molded into what you want it to be. You probably have accomplished a lot already, just on other territories. Be proud of who you are! And the rest will come to you so much easier :)

Very nice and amazing sex knowledge you have shared.

I agree with respected, having earned it, and with expecting civility from everyone but pedestal implies worship, statue, icon which isn't desirable.

To expand on the idea of wasted time: earlier, she wasn't an adult and did not have to deal with adult issues - career, taxes, a place to live, running her own household and so on - then she had time to experiment, to investigate, to learn and she was more 'flexible'. Now, at age 24, she's more 'set in her ways' and less likely and less willing to risk everything in experimentation and investigation especially since she has attained a certain level of comfort in 'where she's at'. In the furture, as her career progresses and dealing with life takes its toll upon her and she settles into adulthood even more - will she be willing to risk all she has attained for what she might or not might reap? I tend to doubt it.

Because she's fighting so hard.

You're welcome Tataa! :)

Perhaps EEK. But perhaps at the time while learning so much and developing into an adult, it was not a comfortable, relaxed and safe moment for experimenting at all. Perhaps she was more intrigued by the magic inside her head, instead of what crawled in her belly. Perhaps having her own place, household, taxes, etc makes her feel more confident as a person. Perhaps settling into adulthood means being more comfortable with who she is and less conflicted by raging emotions and hormones. Perhaps the threat of pregnancy isn't as much of a Damocles' sword. A less flexible mind could be a more stable one; one that can handle experimentation better and deals with life easier. (Tataa, just to make sure: I do not claim to know that "she" is you, these are examples.)

I think such development will differ each person. Every way of living has it's pro's and cons. It's not "wasted", it's time in which you did things, took time thinking, discovered, learned and experienced the things that make you who you are today. I can only advice to live life with passion, a loving heart and a clear conscience. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind (quote by Emerson).

Let me also add that I knew a girl who at such age was convinced that her world was frozen, whereas she could have been anything she wanted to be. I believe your life is what you make of it, no matter at what stage you are.

And yet here is tataa asking if she's ready.
If she truly was secure in her convictions, she would not be asking.

Not according to the way you presented it, hun. You sheered off because there might be 'drama' and he might have another femme besides yourself - you ran away from perceived issues rather than ran toward your convictions. And therein lies the difference!

I also have a buddy, that will really enjoy this page,

Yes, he is.

If he has a spouse. We merely supposed, hence the word perceived. Ah well.