Counseling, counseling, counseling!

Even if you don't think it affected you. You can swear up and down its not bothering you but your trying to have sex with someone because you want to get over it....you do NOT have sex to get over past rape. I know a girl who was raped at 12...she believes that she "wanted" it because she orgasmed...so she never reported it. Very rarely can you ever be raped without having some emotional side effect.

Also you must think that this mans life could be ruined if somemone finds out. Unless you live in Florida (dunno where else) the legal age is above 16. Stack that with the fact that he is 5 years older he would be arrested on FELONY charges...which means no military, federal, teaching, or any career involving children. Part of having sex is being responsible and thinking of the consequences...and not just for you but others as well...he would wear a condom for both his and YOUR safety.

How was a man who beat you for 10 years able to attend camp and school with you. I would assume he would be older then you but then I would imagine you wouldn't be attending the same institutions.

take some self defense classes, not martial arts but the type of classes designed specifically for those kinds of situations, from what i hear they can help people who where victims feel less vulnerable. Fast defense see if they have this where you live and i hope you the best.

i was raped by my teacher for a few months, then i changed classes, then he followed me and raped in an alley, he then made me go to "extra tutoing" where he raped me for 6 months, then i went to college and my ex wanted me to have sex with him but i wouldnt coz of before, but he said i was a whore and should shut up and do as he says, i tried to run out the house but he grabbed me and pushed me onto the bed and raped the hell out of me, after that the stress really got to me and i tried to kill myself, i thought it was my fault..., i turned into a shy and vulnerable girl, but now after counseling i am happy and have a goood bf for 3 years :)

time is like neosporin, the worse the cut, the more you need.
You don't use neosporin by itself either, you throw a bandaid on, and wash out the cut before anything else. The bandaid is a counselor, or a good boyfriend, or both! the washing out is simply just sitting down and realizing that it was never your fault.
So wash out the wound, put on some neosporin and put on a bandaid, then you will be on the way to healing. Remember, scars are left behind, and even though time heals all wounds, time cannot get rid of scars.

[QUOTE=Devilsdaughter;267974]Yeah I know I am working on. I am slowly workin on trusting guys again so let's see how it goes[/QUOTE]

Please read this article on the subject:

Rape! Suggestions for dealing with the aftermath

Please pay particular attention to the section on establishing trust.

I hope this is of help.

-doc

May I point out that those males y'all were abused by were not MEN.
They were CRIMINALS who do NOT deserve any consideration from you.
TELL EVERYONE ALL ABOUT IT.

Then get counseling.

Make you come back for extra tutoring? Hah! Take his sperm sample to the cops! Extra tutoring my a$$! If I weren't so law-abiding, I'd put the barrel of a 45 up his rectum and pull the trigger. I am not going to apologise because this is a subject that that brings out the Vengeance in me.

All those convicted of rape and abuse should have their crime tattooed onto their foreheads and their testicles/ovaries removed.
No excuse for this behavior is possible.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;268372]May I point out that those males y'all were abused by were not MEN.
They were CRIMINALS who do NOT deserve any consideration from you.
TELL EVERYONE ALL ABOUT IT.

Then get counseling.

Make you come back for extra tutoring? Hah! Take his sperm sample to the cops! Extra tutoring my a$$! If I weren't so law-abiding, I'd put the barrel of a 45 up his rectum and pull the trigger. I am not going to apologise because this is a subject that that brings out the Vengeance in me.

All those convicted of rape and abuse should have their crime tattooed onto their foreheads and their testicles/ovaries removed.
No excuse for this behavior is possible.[/QUOTE]

I agree and that is rare :D

Hey Katy , I think Virginity is a real precious thing not to be given or lost to people as if in a casual way! You should know if you really love and want to spend THE REST OF YOUR WHOLE LIFE with him, Dont act in haste.
Get to know him and whether he's serious 'bout you or not or if he even loves you or nor (no offence)
Good luck for that and if you find that out means you've got the man of your life girl! Best wishes!
Hey reply me real quick cause you seem to be friendly and a nice person , Cause I've got a real problem myself. Add me if you want (dnt worry am a girl! )
Would be nice to have someone to help me out and give advice!
Regards
Cheers

I agree with EEK, and want to add a bit.

Being a guy, I was also raised up as the "save it for special". It's not necessarily only women that get that, just men are worse at following up on it maybe. :)

Anyways, my "only" real reason for sticking with it as I did was the whole "well, at least then I won't have guilt X, Y, and Z to live with." Like I didn't have to worry about a disease, or a pregnancy, or maybe some crazy girl. Who knows? I was a moron at the time.

But really, all you do is instead replace those worries with regrets. There were many times I could have had fun. Innocent easy going friends having fun stuff. I had opportunities for 2 girls at once, or damn close to it. None of these would have affected my current relationship with my wife, because they were before we even started dating. And our relationship wasn't built on our virginity, it just worked out that way. She for the first several years thought I had with someone in the past.

So yeah, I don't have a disease from some fling in the past, but I also have the often thought of "CRAP I COULD HAVE SLEPT WITH 2 GIRLS!!!"

I now firmly believe in the "have fun, but don't be a jackass" line of thought.

"Make sure you love him and want to spend the rest of your whole life with him." ??!!? Excuse me, I'm feeling ill.

Aren't you aware that the cult of virginity has been used, and still is being used, to control women's sexuality because it is believed that a woman can only be virtuous if controlled by some man - a father, brother, husband.
DO you feel like you require such control?

Oh it isn't called "controlled" - it is called "protected".

Nevermind that crime stats prove that women are SAFER outside of their homes than within them since most beatings, abuses, deaths of women occur at the hands of those men who said they 'love' them.

Throw your virginity away if you want to. Or not if you don't. But make it YOUR choice.

And if some guy or girl wants to slander you for it - know they are not worthy of your attention for THEY have an issue - not you.

"have fun, but don't be a jackass"

LOL. Love it, Firmus!

This applies to women also, people!!!