rite me and my boyfriend have been together the best part of a year, we started having sex about 6 months into it, we were always very well paced always good at comunicating ect ect, but now nearly a year down the line all our talking is done over the phone and all our argument are via text. it doesn't help that he has such a busy schedule granted but everytime i do get to see him, about 0nce or twice a week all we do is have sex. i keep asking him if we could just try to make the effort to see eachother properly and just talk to oneanother or just go on a normal date to the cinema or something but, it never seams to work because has so little time to. and then everyth=ime he suggests a time we can see eachother properly he has to council because something imprtant comes up in his family or something. all our arguments are about the same thing and still nothing ever gets sorted out. do you think he's worth carrying on with?
Tue, 07/24/2007 - 13:55
#1
All we do is sex - worth carrying on?
If he keeps canceling dates for anything other then sex, you have to decide if you want to continue at this relationship.
Lot's of sex is great, but also going out as a couple and experiencing life is part of a relationship as well. You can get to know people well just sleeping with them but how you act together in public and how you interact together is also key. Real life, is being out and having fun as well as a great sex life.
I think you can answer this for yourself & the fact you are questioning it now gives me the thought you already have the idea of what you DO want.
thank you sera, i do no what i have to do i guess, it's just very hard because he is the first proper boyfriend i have ever had. it's really hard to come to terms with the fact that if something doenst happen soon to sort it out i will have to end it, i will talk to him tonight and just tell him how it is and then leave it to him to sort himself out if nothing dramatic happens within the next week or so i will end it. thank you
You know what you want & you do know what is missing. Talk to him. If no big change decide what you DO want and go for it! Good luck!
[QUOTE=sera300;187712]You know what you want & you do know what is missing. Talk to him. If no big change decide what you DO want and go for it! Good luck![/QUOTE]
thanks....there is also another thing, do you think that it's unfair that i never get shown that he cares? kind of hard to explain but you know when you care about someone you always do little things to show them like i dont know carve your initails into trees and make or buy little presents and stuff, i always do things like that for him, but he never seems to do it in return or anything. and i have asked him several times weather he does care and he says of course he does and stuff. do you think he actaully doesn't or it's just because he's forgetful and doesnt think it's nessesary? i dont know it's bending my head all over the place.
It's the little things in life which matter the most to me...romantic gestures of some sorts. To me actions speak louder then words. Some men are just not romantic but they will still do little things to show you they care. You are not being unfair, choose wisely what you want. What you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will get. It sounds as if he has little respect for your feelings, in all honesty.
he does have respect for me, he always checks that i'm ok and makes the effort to ring me everyday, which is sweet he just doesnt make any effort any other like theres nothing romanitc in our relationship at all and i have real issue with that because i love romance, where as i can take or leave having sex with him. i dont know i might actually say to him that it might be worth just starting again, just having basix dates no sex and just enjoying ourselves, i think maybe we just got too caught up in being to involved with each other.
Meaning lack of respect for your feelings in so far as; you want more and he is not hearing you. He needs to pay attention to your needs too in being a couple. Do not argue with him, it's a fast way to shut men off quick! Tell him how you feel...just say "I feel X" don't say "You do this or this"...keep it on your feelings or emotions. All should go well, perhaps he does not realize he is doing it. :)
yeah well i hope he realises after i talk to him. i think it's just hard for him because he's not used to thinking of anyone other then himself it's a bit of a shock to the system when he finds out he has to think of him too
i have finally talked to my boyfriend in full details and things are improving, as you suspected he had no idea he was doing anything wrong, i've had several dates with him sex is even better now and i've been invited out by his family, something that i have never ever had happen before. thank you x x
[quote=lustforlove;187961]i have finally talked to my boyfriend in full details and things are improving, as you suspected he had no idea he was doing anything wrong, i've had several dates with him sex is even better now and i've been invited out by his family, something that i have never ever had happen before. thank you x x[/quote]
Glad to hear! :)