What I said wasn't directed at you. Did you list a load of numbers? No. A few posts above you did. Perhaps if you'd actually read my post you would have realised it wasn't about you.

Him 17 and you being an adult? Read statutory rape.

well how old would the guy be?

How old are you?

There is simply not enough information to form an opinion. Knowing how old each of you is is important. There are ratios that work as guidelines:

M / F

* 17 16
* 17 18

* 18 17
* 18 19

* 19 17
* 20 18

* 21 19
* 21 22

* 22 20
* 23 20

* 24 21
* 24 25

* 25 21
* 25 26

* 26 22
* 26 27

* 27 22
* 27 28

* 28 24
* 28 30

* 29 25
* 29 31

* 30 26

* 35 30

* 40 30

* 45 35

* 50 40

* 55 45

* 60 50

* 70 55

* 80 70

In general a girl matures earlier than a boy of the same age. How this affects teens depends a lot on their upbringing. An older woman and a younger male usually means she is interested in a sex toy. Certainly a young boy cannot contribute much to the relationship in the way of monies and emotional support; he simply has not lived life sufficiently to establish himself financially and emotionally, and, autonomously.

Relationships during the teen years work best if the age difference is a year or less. Boys and girls are often too different if there is a wider spread because a year in maturity is often a vast difference and can set up incompatibilities fairly soon as the newness wears off and reality set in.

At the age of 17 i had an 18 month relationship with a 35 year old, to be honest I don't think i'd ever go older, but in some peoples oppinion that was too old. Its based upon maturity and ability to cope with the relationship. At the end of the day its up to the two people involved in my mind.

Each woman decides what age range suits her - for me it is 40 to 60 years. A 17 year old simply has NO chance! He does not have the skills required to deliver the sex I want.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;202513]Each woman decides what age range suits her - for me it is 40 to 60 years. A 17 year old simply has NO chance! He does not have the skills required to deliver the sex I want.[/QUOTE]

NOW this sounds like the stuff another Sticky post should be about.

HOW about writing an article on how a man can acquire the skills in order to deliver. At the same time how about detailing what this advanced level of sex is.

Doc - I'll think about it.

Spelling out a bunch on numbers like that is the most judgemental closed-minded thing I've ever seen. Who the hell are you to tell people if they're right for one another?

Perhaps Valerie if you had learned to READ you would have understood what I said.

FOR ME and I quote: " for me it is 40 to 60 years. A 17 year old simply has NO chance! He does not have the skills required to deliver the sex I want. "

An adult is EXPECTED to exercise GOOD JUDGMENT which would require them to be JUDGMENTAL, DUH!

Doc's post wasn't ABOUT anyone. Jeez, Valerie - if you can't recognise statistics when you see them..?

Valerie:

What do you share in common as people as a 17 year old and a 35 year old? Do you discuss politics, share, financial goals, have similar life accomplishments, etc? Or is it a "good sex" and friendships. Too much of an age gap, in my opinion. What will you be 20 years from now together? Can you handle medical issues, families, and how fair is it to a child (assuming you have one together)?

Why do men notorious for dating women this much younger...many men have stated "they [the women] know no better and will tolerate whatever they want or will accommodate them. Hence their is an answer, he is using your nativity to gain his way. To me, his behavior is more predatory.

The thing is no one likes to be at a disadvantage and society dislikes exploitation, generally speaking, so this age thing is more of a guard against that. If two people are sharing the same "stage of life" then the actual ages are of little importance. Two adults, two mid-lifers, two elderly. It is only when one crosses stages that one runs into problems for example adult and child.

Sera the main reason older men have for chasing and marrying 20 somethings is their ability to have kids. All else they can find in women of their own age group.

My fiancée is 6 years older than I am. (I am 18, he's 23) I think its a decent gap, not too much because we both have the same goals. He wants to be 30+ when he becomes a father, and I always imagined myself being 24-26, so it works perfectly. I think age really matters for each person, but of course some gaps are too steep. When I was 14 and he was 20 it would never have worked, because we would have been at much different maturity levels, but now its all the same to us. Same thing, a 40 year old and a 50 year old could have a relationship, but you couldn't say the same about a 10 year old and a 20 year old. The age gap depends on the general age of the couple.

Yeah, thats what I meant. A 10 y/o and a 20 y/o is wrong, because the 10 y/o is a child. But 30 and 40 for example is two consenting adults, usually settled in a career and family.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;202722]Doc's post wasn't ABOUT anyone. Jeez, Valerie - if you can't recognise statistics when you see them..?[/QUOTE]

I can. Obviously you can't, as there weren't any in the aforementioned post.

All of the objections raised to relationships with age gaps are entirely circumstancial, crude generalisations, and yes, JUDGEMENTAL.

There are relationships that are highly unusual in terms of age, that DO work, and it's none of your business who people fall in love with.

To name but one example, Celine Dion (39) is happily married with a small child by her husband Rene who is 65. Seems to work fine.

[QUOTE=sera300;202738]Valerie:

What do you share in common as people as a 17 year old and a 35 year old? Do you discuss politics, share, financial goals, have similar life accomplishments, etc?[/QUOTE]
It's entirely possible.
[QUOTE]What will you be 20 years from now together? Can you handle medical issues, families, and how fair is it to a child (assuming you have one together)?[/QUOTE]Perfectly fair? My parents know a couple who are approx 57 and 45 ish? (as far as I can tell. Those are roughly the ages) with a 7 year old son. What's your point?

Yes, Valerie but a 14 year old girl has NO BUSINESS being married off to a 55 year old man - and you KNOW it.

The one relationship I personally know of was a 28 year old woman to a 48 year old man and it lasted 6 months.

Like I said ADULTS are expected to exercise judgment and to therefore be judgmental. Get over it.

Celebrity marriages don't count honey, sorry. They aren't a legitimate example.

Valerie:

From reading your replies....don't concern yourself with any of it doll...you are way to immature for anything other then you and your 'tude...LOL!:rolleyes:

I look forward to that!

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;202765]Sera the main reason older men have for chasing and marrying 20 somethings is their ability to have kids. All else they can find in women of their own age group.[/quote]Agreed to an extent. Meanwhile, I see many who date & others which marry for "eye candy"...seen it often in many men much like the trophy wife and never have the children. Its more of a game of "see what I can have". Seen it in two formers; only date those who qualify as close to half of their age for "fun". One admittedly stated; "Nothing in common, just looks pretty for outings".

Now, no, sera I did say men, not 'little boys dressed up in man-suits' which are the only ones who want a trophy wife and no kids. Eye-candy and no brains is boooring! Think of it in reverse - he looks great but he's a ditz - how long before you kicked him to the curb? The young puppies are so groundlessly vain too.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;202799]Yes, Valerie but a 14 year old girl has NO BUSINESS being married off to a 55 year old man - and you KNOW it.[/quote]
Who said anything about peadophilia? This thread is about consenting adults.

[quote]Like I said ADULTS are expected to exercise judgment and to therefore be judgmental. Get over it.[/QUOTE]Over their own lives, not those of others. Only you know what's right for your own life.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;202896]Now, no, sera I did say men, not 'little boys dressed up in man-suits' which are the only ones who want a trophy wife and no kids. Eye-candy and no brains is boooring! Think of it in reverse - he looks great but he's a ditz - how long before you kicked him to the curb? The young puppies are so groundlessly vain too.[/quote]He looked great, opened his mouth and lack of intellect was apparent but okay...it ended in 2 hours of a horrible movie. NEVER repeated that mistake. Yes, correct boys dressed in a mans suit.

Valarie: You referenced C. Dion she was 14 when she met her husband; therefore, "they" were not consenting adults. 14 and 55 IS pedophilia.

Back to the original posters topic...a 17 y/o male for me? That is "jail bait" if I ever had the thought cross my mind [which it does not & never has]. Age difference is based upon his ability to be a decent human being; I would not date anyone less then 2 years [or so] my junior. I am accomplished and expect the same from a man; I expect him to demonstrate a clear path of having lived a life. I find men who are close to 5 years my senior more compatible. And if he is older then that by a few no big deal since children are no longer part of life's plans for me. I cannot see dating someone which has an age gap of 20 years between us "interesting" since the era's are too far apart.

Many women go for much older men since they seek a father figure...I wonder if the same holds true for men [LTR wise v. fun]?

ONCE AGAIN, there is nothing like a woman 35 Plus in years...... What in the world
was the name of the movie that was that BAD?? I need to make sure I never
see it.

[quote=constantlylearning;202925]ONCE AGAIN, there is nothing like a woman 35 Plus in years...... What in the world
was the name of the movie that was that BAD?? I need to make sure I never
see it.[/quote]I cannot recall the movie! I was about 17, it was what transpired during the movie which made me run for the hills. Yes, he was gorgeous & hot but just his mere words made me want out so fast!

You guys are so wrong... The 80 year-old corpse of Hugh Hefner is happily engaged to his 27 year-old fiance and lives with his 22 and 34 year old girlfriends. Age means nothing - especially when you're famous...

Celine Dion was dating a 55 year-old when she was 14? Ick.

[quote=oedipussy;202932]You guys are so wrong... The 80 year-old corpse of Hugh Hefner is happily engaged to his 27 year-old fiance and lives with his 22 and 34 year old girlfriends. Age means nothing - especially when you're famous...[/quote]
I think that's called a "sugar daddy", LOL! :) A match made in heaven...

Yep. Guess money really can buy happiness.

I wish Hugh Hefner would let me live with him, too...

Valerie,
Every thing you decide involves making judgments. Is he cute or not? That's a judgment. Your opening statement was a judgment. Hiring someone to work for you involves making a judgment. Someone hiring you is making a judgment. These things affect lives other than your own. Being accepted for a loan involves other people making judgments about you - yea or nay. Go to bed with this guy or that? Marry this guy or that? All the above, and more, involves making judgments of other people and their lives. Every CHOICE involves a JUDGMENT.
Like I said - get over the word and grasp the concept.

Money cannot buy you happiness - but it can make misery more comfy.

[quote=oedipussy;202935]Yep. Guess money really can buy happiness.

I wish Hugh Hefner would let me live with him, too...[/quote] No...it does not buy happiness, it will ease discomforts as evils said but brings a whole new host of issues as well. As once said; "All the Pain That Money Can Buy".....Title to a CD???

Please note that most millionaires (billionaires - meh what's another couple of zeroes) are enthusiastically married to their FIRST wives. -from the Millionaire Next Door.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;202954]Please note that most millionaires (billionaires - meh what's another couple of zeroes) are enthusiastically married to their FIRST wives. -from the Millionaire Next Door.[/quote] Does it work in reverse for if it is the wife who has it? LOL....I actually did read that long ago!!! :)

And many never graduated college, never recognizable, and are "self-made"! The third generation are the ones which loose the fortune! Meaning the one next door is not the one who flaunts it...:)

You are right that money does not buy happiness. Alot of times, it is
like the pot at the end of the rainbow once you get it you ask "what
next" or "is that all there is." The journey there is really much more
rewarding than the end result. That I am sure of.

It will never buy true happiness nor love. For some it will certainly destroy them, their lives, and those who surround them. I have watched many literally do just this...its not a life for everyone. It's the journey and rising to the occasions of importance which count--remaining a good & decent person with great intent to share.

Yes, the sharing is really good and making a difference maybe better...Especially
during this time of year......

We are all sharing people - it is why we are here trying to help others. Even me! LOL btw Look for my new book Notes of a Dominatrix at your online retailers circa Feb 2008. Busy, busy!

Enjoy the Season!

EEK you keep up the good work...........are you a good note taker??

Notes of a Dominatrix sounds like a good read...will keep my eyes open for it. One question. If available on-line, does this mean there are also hard copies which can be purchased?

Long ago, I read The Mayfair Madam by S. Biddle-Barrows which had to do with being a the business of a Madam of Puritan descent, for the high end escorts and the clients in "Cachet". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_Biddle_Barrows

I found the content to be fascinating since her observations/teachings were contained....I enjoyed reading and finding the "whys" intriguing as was the business from her perspective. Sydney had a very interesting/enlightening story to tell to one [me] who had no real grasp of modern day work which was required through the business and her degree of ethical standards.

Many "share" for various reasons....all good! Seasons greetings to you as well and a very prosperous & "Happy New Year"!

[QUOTE=sera300;202924]Valerie: You referenced C. Dion she was 14 when she met her husband; therefore, "they" were not consenting adults. 14 and 55 IS pedophilia.[/QUOTE]
I don't know where you're getting that from, but were it true, it's irrelevent - she didn't get married at 14 did she. *tuts* :rolleyes:

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;202939]Valerie,
Every thing you decide involves making judgments. Is he cute or not? That's a judgment. Your opening statement was a judgment. Hiring someone to work for you involves making a judgment. Someone hiring you is making a judgment. These things affect lives other than your own. Being accepted for a loan involves other people making judgments about you - yea or nay. Go to bed with this guy or that? Marry this guy or that? All the above, and more, involves making judgments of other people and their lives. Every CHOICE involves a JUDGMENT.
Like I said - get over the word and grasp the concept.[/QUOTE]
Lol, is that all you're got? Defining the word judgement? Hehe.

I was using judgemental as a derogatory term and stand by the context. Things that are none of your business and harm no-one do not affect you - casting negative judgement on them when it is not your place and you know nothing about THEIR context is a highly negative action, not to mention anything you could say about them is said in total ignorance, and something to be criticised for.

Clearly you're not libertarians.

[QUOTE=sera300;202979]Valerie:

Liberals yes[/QUOTE]

LiberTARIAN. JS Mill etc. Everything is fine unless it hurts someone (non-consensually). It's a bloomin' facebook category, I would have thought people had a general idea what it was.

Any relationship between consenting adults, no matter the age difference, is fine, and for the individuals involved to employ their judgement in. It's not the business of strangers. (Well, maybe the types who read the Daily Bigot, sorry, Mail...)
Stating that it will be unsuccessful, with nothing but a pair of numbers to base your opinion on, is utterly daft. That is all I had to say.

17 is not legally a consenting adult. :)

I never said it was.

(Although it is in my country actually, but that's irrelevent).

Valarie:

Liberals yes, we just have maturity and refinement....and a major portion of a BRAIN, please learn to use yours...your lack of "sense" is very clear is what you write...you are full of ambiguity. I really do not know how to be more polite in what I am saying...I am not the one to challenge in the debate over "words" and inconsistencies. Posting you opinions is one thing, lack of thought processes brings in a different dimension.

[QUOTE=sera300;202979]Valarie:

Liberals yes, we just have maturity and refinement....and a major portion of a BRAIN, please learn to use yours...your lack of "sense" is very clear is what you write...you are full of ambiguity. I really do not know how to be more polite in what I am saying...I am not the one to challenge in the debate over "words" and inconsistencies. Posting you opinions is one thing, lack of thought processes brings in a different dimension.[/QUOTE]

Seems to me she has the wrong definition of what a Liberal is.

[quote=curious_woman;202982]Seems to me she has the wrong definition of what a Liberal is.[/quote]I believe she is not making herself very clear at all; in my estimation she is attempting to state [poorly at best] she is a "Libertarian" [also known as a "classic liberal" perspective; and then to liberalism]. The foundation of any of the above defined is; based upon fostering social harmony with minimal governmental interventions and the greatest personal freedom allowable.

"lib-er-tar-i-an, n. 1. a person who advocates liberty, esp. with regard to thought or conduct.... advocating liberty or conforming to principles of liberty".[cited from Funk & Wagnall]

Note, the key words are thought and conduct which does not foster ones actions to be rude by nature. Apparent to one with a Master of Public Administration; however, her lack of such insight to the terminology does not excuse her blatant rudeness & challenges.

The above concepts have no bearing on the age difference topic nor can be applied to the opinion since they cannot be remotely linked---even through an imaginary stretch.

Put differently, such political beliefs have no bearing on the thread nor does this belief excuse the ambiguity and inconsistency exemplified through citing C. Dion as a successful marriage despite age gaps and failing to see the salient issue that it was pedophilia. There appears to be contradictions in the application of opinions and judgements through using the liberal "card".

One fact is a 17 year old is not the age of majority and mingling with a 35 year old is clearly violating the law. The elder is locked up for statutory rape unless the minor in emancipated through the courts or through giving birth to a child. One may not care for the laws, I say then stop talking and change them. They do exist for valid reasons.