Help! I have a question regarding female orgasm / climax and would like to know your advice and/or opinion.
My wife is very quick to "come" and once she has achieved this she is way too tired for anything else.
Typically, a session starts and ends in 10 minutes max for her. In this time we would either a) just have oral sex (me on her) and she then "comes" or b) have a VERY QUICK bout of oral on her and then sex.
Once she has come that's it.
My question is how can we make her last longer. While I am happy to go down on her for 10 mins I'd like to do it for much much longer and I would like it to be a warmer for sex.
Even when we do have sex she comes very quickly.
Regardless of how she comes she is so totally exhausted that there is no chance of anything else happening. It really is a case of max 10 mins from start to finish for her.
Any advice?
Thanks.
I am also married to a "quick cummer" who tends to become exhausted from orgasm. I try to look at the up side of the situation. Most men (who care about their partner's wellbeing) are concerned that they are not going to last long enough to please their partners. If your wife is quick you have that worry AND you are more likely to have simultaneous orgasms; one of the most fulfilling and desireable aspects of having sex with another person.
So my first suggestion is learn to appreciate her quickness. Next work on ways to draw your sexual sessions out through techniques other than coitus or cunnilingus. Don't limit your foreplay to oral sex. Lots of kissing and caressing of the entire body, leaving the genitals for last, not only adds more time to your lovemaking session, but elevate both your levels of arousal and possibly even make you feel closer when practiced with regularity.
Did you know that practically any place the body has skin and nerve endings we have the potential to experience an orgasm? You might want to learn more about non-genital orgasm and total body orgasm. Incorporating these into your sexual repertoire will surely prolong the time you spend on your sexual encounters and if you can get your wife to be more participant you might find that she will take you on some marvelous sensual/sexual trips.
Here are a couple of links to get you started. The first is about "Tantric" sex
http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/tantric/tantricsex.html
and the second is one of the most extensive and informative online sex help sites on the net. I especially recommend the sections on Sensual Massage, Male Multiple Orgasm, and their online book, A New Look at Sex.
http://www.sexuality.org/index.html
Make the most of what you have to work with. Be creative. You both might discover something new.
There is a school of thought that one orgasm is enough and that unless you are totally wrung out, then your orgasms must not be all that good. PIFFLE! If she is in good condition, breathing properly, and relaxing through the orgasm, then having more than one is perfectly possible. But if she is achieving orgasm by holding her breath, or breathing rapidly and shallow-ly, and/or tenses up the muscles in her body - then yes, she'll be exhausted and for no good reason as all of that is not only unnecessary but also prevents her from lasting longer and becoming multi-orgasmic.
I am also a "push-button" woman who orgasms at the drop of his drawers - so to speak. However I am also multi-orgasmic and ejaculatory - you get this way by breathing deeply, relaxing your body, and by participating - focusing outward to your partner. Delaying her orgasm for increasingly longer intervals, having more sex sessions, putting her in charge of the sex session where she does unto you, incorporating massage and other techniques of outercourse - all can help her become longer lasting and possibly even multi-orgasmic. Try it - it may help.
There are two sticky posts on this site that can help - The Program and Body Worship