Don't sweat it about being a virgin at 27. I am 40 and still virgin. I'm waiting as well to get laid the first time. Hope I can wait until my holidays in june. Hoping the girl I am writing to will be my first. she hasnt told me if she is a virgin or not. she did say that she wasnt married.

I'm was one of the 'old' virgins being 25 years old. I just lost my virginity 5 day ago to my 19-year old girlfriend who was also a virgin. The first time we tried I was to nervous, but when my girfriend came round unexpected it happened very naturally. We were both at ease, relaxed (and very horny) so after some foreplay (we like to watch porn together) it went very fast and before we knew it, I was inside her doing it (and her) for the first time.

And it's a cliche but is was wonderfull, especially because it was with a girl I deeply care about. When I was a teenager I dreamt about having sex, as soon as possible. But now I'm glad I didn't. Maybe a bit cheesy to say but it is very special, but only if you can share it and talk about it with your partner. I actually think we have spent more time talking about it the next few days, than we spent on making love the first time.

It's sad that the general consensus is that you must have a girlfriend/boyfriend and have sex as soon as possible. I've been single for quite some time before I met my girlfriend and it's very tiring and annoying how people react to that. I can't remember how many times I heard 'You're 25 years old and still don't have a girlfriend. Later I found people talking behind my back implying that I might be Gay, which I'm not. I'm happy that the people who really know me and care about me didn't react that way, but I was unpleasantly suprised about the amount who did. In the end (right before I fell in love) I was so annoyed by it, that couldn't look at a romantic commercial without feeling irritated.

i think it is very admirable to be a virgin beyond 16 in this day and age frankly

don't see it often and i commend anyone who is I like it here.

There was an old couple on Trisha (british chat show) who were both virgins at ...... 63! The woman felt uncomfortable about sex, but her husband said "thats ok, its u i love"

and thats with 30 or 40 years of marriage!!!

really?
thats crazy!!!!
i mean if you can't be comfortable w/ someone after 30 yrs who can you be comfortable with?
poor guy...lol.

I was a virgin up to today(I am 17) i thought that sex was going to be such a big thing that life would change once you got laid. damn i was wrong its really not that big of a deal. I mean i am happy that i finally had sex. But for some reason i think i did it more because its such a bitch in society today when people find out you are a virgin its kinda like an outcast. Another thing i hear people say to wait til you find the right person i didnt believe that either but now i kinda wish i knew the person better, i may see the girl i had sex with twice a month if i am lucky. So in final note i would say if you are an older person in their 20s thinking that its a "loser thing" to do by not having sex, people that think that are jus f**king stupid.

I lost my virginity because I thought that it was *insert a number of negative things here* to still be a virgin after your teen years, I was the last of all my close friends. And I regret it and dont at the same time. I wish I had done it in a different way and place, but I did it with someone I cared about deeply and that is the one reason I can honestly say I dont regret it 100%.

Beign a virgin for as long as you need / want to be is cool. I have only had sex the one time... I'm saving the rest for the right time and place.

El

I'm glad to hear that there are more of "us" out there. At least I used to be part of the "us" category. I met my husband when I was 14, (he was 19). We were both virgins, and everyone thought that he was with me for sex. No one could understand our relationship. We got married shortly after I turned 18 (yes, we were both still virgins), and I know alot of people thought we "had" to get married, if you know what I mean. And there were also a lot of people who said they didn't think the marriage would last 6 months. Well, we are now close to celebrating our 5th anniversary. So much for what other people know. I guess my point is, you have to follow your heart and disregard the things that other people say. My only regret is that we were both relatively sheltered as far as sex info goes, so our sex life is still a little "dull". Found this place though and am hoping to "spice" things up a bit.

On a more personal note, our being virgins was a choice based upon our religious beliefs. Believe me, it isn't easy staying a virgin sometimes. So for those of you who are still virgins, I have the utmost respect for you. I am not the type of person who would have felt comfortable having sex with many men. One suits me just fine.

I am woman enough to admitt that I did not read the WHOLE post, nor did I read all the responses, so this may be a repeat but oh well. Im sorry, Im horrible, Im lazy, but oh well....

Anyways... Darlin, do whats right for you. Dont you dare rush it just to get "losing it" over with. Sex should be an emotional connection as well as a physical one. Wait for the right person, she'll come along, I promise. I'll be 20 in august, and Im a virgin (technically speaking). Does that make me pathetic?

yeah well im 17 and have had sex with 3 different girls...not proud of it because its not as special sharing it with someone i actually care about now...consider yourself lucky

-word

Just thought I would throw in a quick reply.  I was a virgin at 26 ...Just never had the right circumstances.  Yeah, people will tell you that you probably lose out on "wild sex" when you are younger, but lemme tell you, when you are in a relationship and both of you are comfortable with eachother, the sex can be both wild and sensual (one or the other or both).  Strive for your ideal relationship but also keep in mind that you only live once.  I mean don't go out screwing everything with a heartbeat, but know what you want and try for it!  If you don't like or want the experience, then by all means don't do it!  Have fun with what you are doing and make sure that it is what YOU want.  You really aren't alone at all.  Just have fun and live life.  You honestly never know what is going to happen from one day to the next, so have fun and take the opportunities if you see them (and want them).

[QUOTE=Quote (Greendale @ May 03 2004,13:43)]Thanks for agreeing with me everyone. Yes, I think it is wrong and immature for someone to make fun of someone over 20 years old still being a virgin.

But I do plan on to lose my virginity real soon, my goal is I'm hoping to lose my viriginity before I hit 30 years old.[/QUOTE]
Hey Greendale,

Forget about age.  Age is just a number over which you have no control.  It's not about how old you are when you have sex for the first time, but rather how you feel and what you hope to get out of the experience.  I'm sure that when you finally do experience it for the first time, you'll be glad you waited for the right girl to come along, just as I will be glad my right girl comes along.

I just turned 30, and yes, I'm still a virgin.  Not only that, but I'm damn proud of it.  And if the people you hang around with are giving you a hard time or teasing you or anything along those lines, maybe it's time to re-evaluate the friends you keep.  My friends never give me any grief about it because they've come to respect that it's a personal choice that I have made a long time ago.

I'm a perfectly healthy and normal male.  I have a great career, I take exceptional care of myself physically, and I know exactly what I want out of life.  I have my sexual urges and desires the same as everyone else does.  The only difference is that I'm an "evolved male", as I like to refer to it, because I am able to separate sex from my everyday life.  To me, sex is something that I will share with the one girl that I'll spend the rest of my life with.  I haven't met her yet, but I'm sure she's out there.

I've had plenty of "sexual experience" over the last 10 years since my first serious girlfriend, but I never went "all the way".  I always knew where my limits were, and so did my girlfriends.  I actually ended my last relationship about a year ago because she was becoming too obsessive with her sexual needs, and refused to understand my position which I have maintained for many years before I met her, which is that I will not have sex with her (or anyone else) until I have a committment from that person which will lead to marriage.  

The ironic thing is that today, most women I meet find me all the more appealing and attractive due to the fact that I'm still a virgin.  They love the fact that I don't sleep around and that I'm not a player looking for the next sure thing.  They love knowing that I'm looking for something serious and long-term and last but certainly not least, they love knowing they have nothing to fear from me in terms of having 7 or 8 different STDs.

So hang in there, and never let anyone make you feel bad about it.  Your time will come, but don't try to force the issue.  One of the things you said was you want to lose your virginity soon, preferably by the age of 30.  My advice to you would be to lose the "plan", and just go with what feels right.  If you meet someone you want to have that experience with for the first time, it might happen tomorrow or it might not happen until next month, or next year, or maybe not for the next 5 years.  The choice is yours to make, and yours alone.

You're absolutely right.  There's so much more to life than just sex, and sadly there are so many idiot men (and women) who have their priorities completely screwed up.

Well Greendale, I'm 27 too and still a virgin, so you are not alone

I think I haven't met the special one yet and actually when I look back at my past relationships I realise more and more that I've made the right decision. Once, I was dumped by one of my ex-boyfriends just because I didn't sleep with him and I got devastated then but now I'm glad he did that. I'm glad he opened my eyes. I think I will wait until I get married, because then I will know that the person I'm going to marry is the one. Call me old-fashioned but that's just how I feel. I don't have a boyfriend right now and I don't want to have one until I find someone I really love and who loves me back. My first and the longest relationship ended because I couldn't love him as much as he loved me. So, that's my biggest fear. I want to find love - who doesn't? lol- but also love and lust for someone who is really worth it. Sex and love cannot be separated but love comes first. People come and ask me "how come you don't have a boyfriend?" and I'm trying not to get irritated. It's not difficult to find a bf really but the thing is to find real happiness if it's possible. Am I too pessimistic? lol. Hope not.

I'm glad that I'm reading this, as it means I'm not alone. I;m 25 and yes practicaly a virgin. I've had some girlfriends and fooled around but to put it bluntly I never penetrated a women before. I don't think you have to have sex. In the most cases everyone decides when there are ready and at that point it's the right time. I think you should think apart having sex and making love. Sex is easy, love ain't but gives more satisfaction. I have a girlfriend right know and we are very happy just building to the point we are both happy with it. She is a virgin as well.

The one thing that really frustrates me is that people start to treat to you different if you don't have a girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter) for some time. I have been single for four years and people find that strange, my sister had the same thing and was getting really tired with people asking questions about it. I actually really started tot dislike romantic commercials, clips etc on TV. As I'm madly in love with my girlfriend that's changed know. But sometimes I feel people forget how many singles are out there.

Wow, that was kind of long...lol. But I'm glad you got it off your chest. I'll make mine fairly short. Since to me it's pretty simple.

You do what makes YOU happy. When you want to have sex, for whatever reason, then have sex. If you don't, don't. No one else has to live inside your skin so what "they" say really doesn't matter.

No no no thats not what i ment.

Due to the womans age, when she was young she was brought up to believe that sex and masturbation were "dirty" and "bad" and that has grown into a massive psychological restraint; They tried to have sex on their wedding night, but her body wouldnt allow her as she had been "taught" to discourage sex and the emotions that go with it.

but proves they guy was madly in love with her, as they r still together (and now having sex theropy, curtisy of the "Trisha show" )

let people think what they want. as long as you're comfortable with it, that's all that matters.
I was proud to say that I was a 22 year old virgin. In infact only lost my virginity a month before I turned 23. I was proud that I was a rare breed.

Now, that's not saying I'm not proud I lost my virginity because in fact, I lost it to the person I wanted to and I have no regrets about it either. I couldn't imagine losing it to anyone else. He was in fact my first for everything. (first kiss, first feel up, etc.) and without him, I would still very much be one. I've never had a boyfriend, ever. And even though I'm with him, he's not my boyfriend. He's whatever he is.

But as oberon said, you do what makes you happy.
When it's the right time, you'll know.

whew....you can write.
Don't ever let anyone give you crap about being a virgin. You may be a minority in society today, but I think that it is refreshing.
Wait until you are ready, even if that means waiting until you are 60 (well...hopefully before then ) It will be worth it, and the woman you decide to be with will be lucky.

G-luck!

20 years old and still waiting! You are not alone.

As a female virginity was placed upon us as something you must upheld. I don't look down on people who choose otherwise. I was well into my 20's when I lost my virginity so more power to anyone who waits and others who don't.

i am 21 and have had a pretty bad... well non-existant love life... but beside the point, i am still a virgin, though i may be younger than some of you others, i understand what you mean, i find that, one: its mostly the frat type guys that tend to poke fun about virginity, but they are usually *******s in the first place... and i think that it is becoming more respected... or accepted to choose to stay virgin longer. also, i have noticed that most people have been saying "losing virginity" like virginity is a bad thing, and should be "lost" like a bad habit. now i know it isnt the message everyone is saying... but i prefer to think instead of "still being a virgin" or "not losing virginity" i like "keeping my virginity" am i making sense or just rambling? in short... virginity, i see it, is a badge of honor rather than one of shame.

wel im 18 - and i lost my virginity a few months ago in july i think to my bf who i fully love 100%. but i was perfectly happy a virgin and would have waited for as long as it took for me to find some onw i was comfortable with :) i now just feel lucky i have found that now. :)

Well, for guys, anyway, being a virgin isn't a big deal. You don't have to find the "one" who has earned it, because, quite frankly, you'll suck the first few times. Don't make sex a big deal. Have sex with someone you want, when you want, and get the whole virginity thing off your chest.

Just use a condom.

It's nothing to brag about, being 2X and a virgin, because, to be frank again, your virginity isn't special.

Virginity is a cultural consruct interpreted in different ways in different times in history and different places in the world. In our culture, virginity for males seems to be a burden to get rid of as soon as possible. For females it is treated like something precious to "give" to the right man.

It's all bulls**t.

All that is real is that you haven't vaginally penetrated a woman with your penis yet. So what? It's really pretty meaningless if you think about it long enough. Each of us starts when we start, and age doesn't matter unless we worry about it or attach our own meaning to it.

What worries me is the millions of women throughout history and still today who have been disgraced, beaten, or killed only because a little piece of skin was naturally thinned or stretched too much to produce enough blood to satisfy other people's stake in her virginity when her husband's penis first penetrated her vagina. That's the destructive power of a cultural construct taken way too seriously.

Exactly, BTDT. Your virginity isn't really that important. So why not have sex? As long as you're safe, there's no problem, imo.

It's kind of like the kid who won't ride a roller coaster. It's a lot of fun, but some people are scared of it, or think they'll get sick, etc.

Give it a try, get over your preconceived notions about what it's going to be like, and go for it.

Debating over keeping your virginity? There is little value in that particular aspect to others; value is in ethics & character. I'd prefer people try to be decent human beings then "virgins".

A badge of honor?

So you're happy that she can say "No." Okay, part of her ability to say that might be a low sex drive, or a belief that sex is dirty, or bad, or is only for having children not for pleasure. Then she has her kids and cuts him off, thinking "Thank goodness I don't have to put up wth THAT any more!" Well, why not? A once a month mercy "I'll just lay here." bit of sex is enough for any man isn't it? Perhaps she can periodically "reward" him for "good behavior" right? "Honey, if you fix the roof, I'll give you...." I have seen the results of just such 'all hail virginity" edcation far too many times to have illusions about it.Once she has been 'programmed' to think like that - HE'S doomed.

I'm sure he'll thank you later.

I agree with sera, Ephemera, and BTDT.

ok, "badge of honr" might be a bit extreme...i get a bit wierd when its really late at night. but i still think you should not be ashamed about it. and i cant say that i am proud to tell a girl no, or have a girl tell me no... i have never been in a situation where the subject of sex even had a possibility of coming up

[QUOTE=CliMBinG GuY;194440]i have never been in a situation where the subject of sex even had a possibility of coming up[/QUOTE]

Easily fixed - all you have to do is try.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;194417]A badge of honor?

So you're happy that she can say "No." Okay, part of her ability to say that might be a low sex drive, or a belief that sex is dirty, or bad, or is only for having children not for pleasure. Then she has her kids and cuts him off, thinking "Thank goodness I don't have to put up wth THAT any more!" Well, why not? A once a month mercy "I'll just lay here." bit of sex is enough for any man isn't it? Perhaps she can periodically "reward" him for "good behavior" right? "Honey, if you fix the roof, I'll give you...." I have seen the results of just such 'all hail virginity" edcation far too many times to have illusions about it.Once she has been 'programmed' to think like that - HE'S doomed.
[/QUOTE]

EEK - Wish I had said it first. You are absolutely right on. I also have known many men who at first thought they were getting something special by marrying a virgin, and then suffer for it the rest of their lives. There is a big surprise package attached to the original "gift."

Thinking of sex as being "precious" causes many problems. Sex is great, fun and brings people together - all good things. But when you begin making it out to be "more" than that, then you run into problems - such as murdering over infidelity. Then you get jealousy, possessiveness, mistrust - the list goes on. All very unattractive and destructive emotions that eventually destroy people.

You cannot control any one else's behavior but you can control your reactions to that behavior.

Some men simply choose to not deal with the issues in their marriage re: sex and so they go elsewhere. To most "playful" women, married men are the perfect playtoys because they cannot "fall in love" and they "have to go home" - this way they do not have to "buy the pig just to have a little sausage". They are not interested in keeping him - they just want to borrow him for a while. Single men might want a relationship and she just may not want that at this time. Divorced men might have too much baggage. Thus married men become more attractive - they fit her agenda.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;194486]Thinking of sex as being "precious" causes many problems. Sex is great, fun and brings people together - all good things. But when you begin making it out to be "more" than that, then you run into problems - such as murdering over infidelity. Then you get jealousy, possessiveness, mistrust - the list goes on. All very unattractive and destructive emotions that eventually destroy people.

You cannot control any one else's behavior but you can control your reactions to that behavior.

Some men simply choose to not deal with the issues in their marriage re: sex and so they go elsewhere. To most "playful" women, married men are the perfect playtoys because they cannot "fall in love" and they "have to go home" - this way they do not have to "buy the pig just to have a little sausage". They are not interested in keeping him - they just want to borrow him for a while. Single men might want a relationship and she just may not want that at this time. Divorced men might have too much baggage. Thus married men become more attractive - they fit her agenda.[/quote] So true evil! There is part of the game of "catch" & lack of attachment. Been there too many times inadvertently!

Wow..a good topic.. i am 20 going to 21..still steady with my gf of 2years and a half..still a virgin of course..

I don't think of it as a "badge of honor". I just think that it is something special and should be done when both parties are ready whether emotionally, mentally or physically..whether after marriage or not..If possible it would be after marriage for me..

Some might think otherwise..especially most of you in the western countries..and it might sound stupid but this is my opinion on it..Most asian countries used to have this kind of thinking from where i come from..but nowadays i guess it's a total different thing already..oh well..

[quote=Clouded;194849]Wow..a good topic.. i am 20 going to 21..still steady with my gf of 2years and a half..still a virgin of course..

I don't think of it as a "badge of honor". I just think that it is something special and should be done when both parties are ready whether emotionally, mentally or physically..whether after marriage or not..If possible it would be after marriage for me..

Some might think otherwise..especially most of you in the western countries..and it might sound stupid but this is my opinion on it..Most asian countries used to have this kind of thinking from where i come from..but nowadays i guess it's a total different thing already..oh well..[/quote]You should read yesterdays thread from the man who hated having sex w/his wife. And why! I do believe you have to know you are sexually compatible before you marry anyone! I hate to see one spouse feeling hurt and resentful b/c of the sexual rejection.

Here it is:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/married_and_long-term_relationships/2335...

This is a good enough reason not to wait until marriage!

Sounds like buying a Porsche BEFORE you have learned how to drive.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;194862]Sounds like buying a Porsche BEFORE you have learned how to drive.[/quote]Sight unseen too!

And without a driver's license!

bout the link you gave me..i think it's always communication that's very important..if you have a good communication and at least a good knowledge on love making..i don't think it should be a problem..i guess we should be open with each other..if you can't then..there's no good communication..hence..a problem..

not the first time i hear people giving this kind of opinions..where we should test it out before going on to the deeper stage...I also heard of people having happy marriage even being virgins until they got married. They might not be many of them here in the forums..but there might be many out there? So i guess it's like depends on people i guess..

oh well..just my opinion..i am sure people will bombard me for this..lol..

To me that's like playing Russian Roulette. Too much of a gamble for potential future unhappiness. I also buy shoes after I try them on. A marriage and LTR is a investment of both his & my time; I do not want to leave much to chance since once you get into a marriage itself; a different set of challenges arise. Playing "hope we do well sexually" is not one where there is much room for latitude since the other issues will bombard you and coupled with the lack of sex the marriage erodes. I promise, unless both are happy being non-sexual.

Clouded it is not likely that any married couple is going to tell you they are dissatisfied with their sex life simply because they do not know any better! They just accept it and think that that is all there is and since it wasn''t that much fun to begin with, they let it go and say things like "sex isn't everything".

You should be pitying them, not emulating them!
Ignorance is NOT bliss!

Should I ever become single again - you can be sure that an extensive exploration of his sexual abilities will be high on my selection checklist.

As it was before I first got married to this wonderful man!

To perhaps explain this in the reverse for you Clouded: I never knew married people had bad sex lives. I have been married twice, knew what I was getting when I wed, and had great sex-life as a married couple each time. The first time this epiphany struck me was when a woman I worked with said she had not slept w/her husband in two years & did once and accidentally became pregnant, they were planning a divorce. This was not normal conversations at work nor anything I ever discussed with my friends. My sex life was always personal since I was 14. I did not discuss it with other's, until a few years back; I found many divorcing for reasons such as lack of sex; she was never really sexual, or he never really was into it. I thought people had sex nearly every day, as I did...I was quite naive. Not too many married people go around and talk about how bad their sex life is until they are nearing the end of the marriage!

Another myth I had; I thought all women could have orgasms with ease during penetration...

Communication is key, but how do you convince someone to enjoy sex? You don't.

Well, happily married couples do not come here to tell us as well. (there could be a few asking some questions) There wouldn't need for them to come here unless they are curious of certain things. I feel that maybe some of the people that come here are unhappy and they try looking for a solution here as it is convenient. So my assumption is you don't see that many happy ones here.

Anyway it's just my opinion. I think even having sex after marriage there can be no problem if a couple at that stage is really comfortable and their communication level is good. There shouldn't be a problem. If there is a problem, they would be able to talk things out and improve if both parties are willing to be open and willing to give in. So i don't see the problem of waiting. :)

You might think that there is a risk, ya maybe there is? but for me, I am sure i will be fine if i married my gf because there is a certain communication and understanding between us.

Oh well, just my opinion again. I know you ladies have been through a lot but this is just what i think. Might get bombard again for it.. Lol..

We all pick our poisons! :)

Indeed. but this is no poison for me :p Thanks anyway for the views. Time for bed now. Will be back when i am free :)

Who says you don't get happy couples in here?

I'm happily married and have been to the same man for 29 years now!
We still adore eachother and no, neither of us were virgins when we married.

Man, virgins are something else. This is one of the bleakest things I've ever read. Everyone's on here making excuses for themselves so they can feel better about the fact that they're afraid of taking chances... Get out there and live life, for crying out loud.

All of this waiting for the "right person" stuff is crap. Why - so when you finally find her/him and go for it they dump your ass for being horrible in the sack? No one wants a project. I try to avoid virgins like the plague... The last "girlfriend" I ever had years ago was a virgin and it made me miserable hearing everyone talk about their great sex lives while I was stuck with some prude.

Clouded -

2 and a half years with her and you two still haven't had sex yet? Have you even TRIED yet? What the hell are you two waiting for? MARRIAGE? Yeesh, I wouldn't even buy a used couch for $10 without getting to sit on it first, and you're gonna devote the rest of your life to someone that you don't even know that you're compatible with? Not a good idea...

[QUOTE=oedipussy;194938]Man, virgins are something else. This is one of the bleakest things I've ever read. Everyone's on here making excuses for themselves so they can feel better about the fact that they're afraid of taking chances... Get out there and live life, for crying out loud.

All of this waiting for the "right person" stuff is crap. Why - so when you finally find her/him and go for it they dump your ass for being horrible in the sack? No one wants a project. I try to avoid virgins like the plague... The last "girlfriend" I ever had years ago was a virgin and it made me miserable hearing everyone talk about their great sex lives while I was stuck with some prude.

Clouded -

2 and a half years with her and you two still haven't had sex yet? Have you even TRIED yet? What the hell are you two waiting for? MARRIAGE? Yeesh, I wouldn't even buy a used couch for $10 without getting to sit on it first, and you're gonna devote the rest of your life to someone that you don't even know that you're compatible with? Not a good idea...[/QUOTE]

oedipussy, before i begin, i speak for myself and only myself, yes, i admit that i am emotionally afraid of taking chances, i can put my body in harms way without a second thought, but emotionally, im very scared, i know this and am working this... is there a problem with being afraid?

as for making excuses to make myself feel better... yup... thats exactly it, i did it because if i didnt come to terms with it i would have probably killed myself at age 16

i know im probably goin to get an earful from everyone about all this later... this is just my perspctive and reasoning