my fiance and I love each other very much, but I find that I am getting bored in bed, its not that he's not a wonderfull llover, its just that we've seemed to have lost all the exitement of our first time we had sex. Aonther thing is he wont try new positions, all we've done is missiojnary. how do i add exitment, and get him to go wild and try new things?
Fri, 07/08/2005 - 03:10
#1
adding exitement
Would it be a keen grasp of the obvious to note that the only way to create excitement is to know what each other find exciting?
Several somewhat random thoughts come to mind.
Excitement is a shared experience. It is very difficult to "excite" someone who doesn't want to be excited (whatever the reason) or doesnt share in the fun.
As an aside, I would suggest that one bad experience is not a valid justification for behavior. I've had some pretty lousy meals, but it doesn't keep me from going to different restaurants. That "repression" bears further investigation, perhaps professionally.
I'd look at creating some excitement out of bed... it might carry over. The list of possibilities is almost endless and you could get lots of ideas just be poking around this board... how about watching some videos together? role plays?
By all means consider the toys... ask him how he feels about them first. (Some men are threatened by them.) Since you've incorporated mutual masterbation, just make them part of that...
Take him out on date and tease him unmercifully by dressing and acting provocatively.
Sit on the couch and talk about how much you love and excite each other... then express it physically.
Dear Roywyn,
I don't know how you can go about bringing excitement to your bed. I do agree that is is very important. You'll have to wait for other folks who know more than I to contribute posts.
we have a ring, and yes, we set a date for the wedding. we are verry exited. I talked to him about why he doesnt want to try anything really, and he stated that he had a very bad experance. thats why I want to add exitement, so I might coax him out of the reppression of a bad experiance. he knows I have oys, and jjust today, he finnaly tried mutual masturbation. we love each other very much. and I want to marry him. so even though I thank you for your input Sailormanjack, my fiance and I are going to get married this fall.
so once again how can I add extement, becaue he know's I own toys, should I try to bring them into our bed? ( as in sexualy) and if so, how?
The only option is to get him to open up to new things. If he won't even try new positions then he'll never get into any other fun stuff like toys and the like. So tell him what your problem is and then see what he is willing to try. Honestly I can't believe somebody wouldn't be willing to try new positions?
I may have good news for you. Has he given you a ring? Have you and he set a date for the wedding? If the answer to either or both of these questions is "no," you are not really engaged and he is not your fiance. I say this is good news as, from your description of the situation, he is too immature and too repressed to be good husband material. Yes, it is possible that he is trainable. Possible. More likely, he will not change to any significant degree. Dear girl, it's time to start looking for a new man.
Let's face it, if sex is boring before you even get married, you should not get married.