Hi everyone

           I just had sex for the first time last week and my man is very big. When we had sex we had to keep on stoping because I was in a lot of pain. We had sex for about 45 minutes. His penis only went half way in and I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to make the 2nd time less painful? Is there anything I can do to stretch myself out?  Thank u for ur advise in advance

well, i had the same problem when i first started having sex with my b/f. He is quit big and like you, I was tight.
It all takes some time. what we did was he would finger me and everytime he did it he would open me up more and more each time, It would help a lot if you did it too by yourself. After a while you will open up and when you do finally have sex, make sure he knows to take it slow. It's not as bad as it seems.

Would there be more pain if the guy is big? Should I wait for someone else who isn't 9 1/4 and maybe smaller for the pain factor?

Define "rather large." Bigger than the average?

well like i put in one other post first times differ for all girls
my first time i was nervous...and so was my b/f b/c he wasn't a virgin but he was scared he was gonna hurt me. he's not extremely large but a good size... like 7in or so i think and he's got a good girth. anyways, the best thing to do is to just take it slow. make sure u have lots of foreplay before hand.. touching w/ hands...maybe some oral... this helps relax ur vagina and gets it lubed up.
personally i produce a lot of natural lube but if u do not then consider store bought lube to help u along.
like i said if u just take it slow and dont rush things u should be ok

I was wondering about the same thing. I'm rather small and the guy I'm planning to sleep with is 9 1/4''.

Like demon says, foreplay will make it easier for you.  Also, you may want to use your fingers before hand to stretch yourself out a bit.

I am about 8 1/2 inches and my girlfriend was kinda tight when were got together and i was her first. I had been fingering her for a few months before we had sex and she was loose enough that it didn't hurt her. Also, lube such as KY Jelly helps out soooo much. Using a condom with also redude the friction. take it slow and communicate with him if it is hurting. good luck.

Stretching is not as important as lubrication. Almost any vagina can handle almost any penis. We have preferences but those we learn with experience.

Once the hymen is gone, there is no need for stretching. Relaxing will more good and being in a position that gives you some control can be a great confidence builder.

Short answer: relax and use plenty of spermicidal lubrication. A whole applicator full and smear some around the entrance on your lips.

[QUOTE=Quote (iexcite @ April 30 2003,23:34)]Using a condom with also redude the friction.[/QUOTE]
Actually, that is one thing condoms will not protect against. In fact, latex is slightly abrasive, so using a condom will increase the friction. This is not a good enough reason not to use a condom, however, as some lube will clear the problem right up.

as for positions, when we did it for the first time we made sure my girl was on top, so that she had control over how far in it went and how quickly, with her on top she has much more control, but id very much agree with wot the others have said as well, plenty of lube, whether natural or shop-bought, and LOTS of foreplay, im talking like more than a quick fondle, spend some serious time teasing her, and all will be flowing and fine.... plus it will help her relax, cause she aint all scared about u thinking bad of her.. and u too, u wont b so scared about hurting her.... just take ur time, and nature will do the rest!

good luck!

If deep insertion might cause you discomfort, then you'll want to avoid positions that make it possible. Keep in mind, however, the size of your vagina adapts and adjusts when you are sexually aroused. That's because of physiological changes that go on during arousal. So you may not have any discomfort with insertion if you are very aroused.

As a woman goes through the various stages of sexual arousal, her internal anatomy moves around somewhat. Portions of the sides of her vagina open up a bit and separate from their normal, "nearly touching" position. Her uterus moves as well, lifting up gradually as arousal progresses. This lengthens the vagina and makes more room for insertion. This is the reason to take things slowly - it gives your body time to adjust.

Another consideration is that when a penis (or anything, for that matter) bumps against a woman's cervix (the portion of the uterus closest to the outside of her body), most women perceive that sensation as discomfort. There are, however, some women who like it and find that it builds their arousal. While there's a statistical likelihood that you won't like that kind of bumping, allow yourself to briefly experience a variety of motions to see how you feel about it.

Some positions encourage deep insertion; others don't. If you find that shallow insertion is best for you, one basic guideline is to avoid any position that forms your body into an L-shape, or 90° angle. This "L" would be viewed from the side of your body and formed by the meeting of your hips and your thighs.

So having intercourse from behind, while resting on your hands and shin bones (from knees to ankles) creates the "L." So does sitting astride your partner in the "woman-on-top" position.

Intercourse in the male-on-top position with both his and your legs straight does not create the "L" and therefore results in more shallow insertion. However, if you curl your legs up while resting on your back, you've created that 90° angle once again.

Some people who don't want to have to remember all this have gotten creative. Though it may sound silly, they've created a doughnut-type ring, made of a soft material, that the male wears at the base of his penis to act like a "bumper." This allows him to thrust with a bit more abandon and not consider his behavior so carefully. Some sex toys can function in a similar way.

As mentioned by others, lots of lubrication will help considerably too.

Finally, remember that intercourse is but one of many, many ways that two people can share sexual experiences. It is also a pathway to female orgasm for only about 30% of women. The other 70% tend to want reliable clitoral stimulation in order to climax, which has no relationship to the length of the vaginal canal.

Thanks Italstall

    The bumper thing sounds like a good idea; I was wondering how do I make one of those?  I would really want to try using that the second time I have sex which will be like at least a month because my man just had plastic surgery so I have time to learn new thing to help out.

thanks

Melissa

I just wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice. I had sex for the second time yesterday and when I had it; it hurt about 75% less then then first time I had sex. I was amazed on how much different the amout of pain was. Can not wait to do it a 3rd time!!!!

[QUOTE=Quote (jiggly @ May 25 2003,18:38)]The bumper thing sounds like a good idea; I was wondering how do I make one of those?[/QUOTE]
A piece of soft packaging foam cut to shape should do it.

Cut out a circle about 3 inches or so in diameter and as deep as you wish (to restrict his penetration). Cut a round hole in the middle to suit his erect girth and away you go!

You may find something similar in a sex-store; maybe check out the sex toy store here.